Strange Exhilaration
by forrealrightnow
Summary: How on earth will Santana survive without sex for an ENTIRE month?  It definitely isn't an easy task for her, but for the right person it just might be worth it.  Sequel to Unadulterated Loathing. Mix of AU/Canon. Femslash. Rated M for language and smut.
1. It's Rachel's Fault!

**Finally I'm editing these. I apologize for all of the mistakes that were. I've fixed this to the best of my ability.**

* * *

><p>Thursday, April 28th<p>

As of today Rachel and I have been officially (and secretly) a couple for three weeks and four days. After I agreed to the "no sex for a month" stipulation, we both agreed that neither one of us were entirely ready to come out to everyone. That isn't to say that we're never going to come out, we just really like our little bubble where no one bugs us. Besides, it isn't as though it's completely a secret. Here's a list of everyone that knows as of right now:

Brittany  
>Kurt<br>Mercedes  
>Blaine<br>Puck

Yeah, I'm kind of iffy on the last one, too, but so far he's been okay. Actually, Puck and I have gotten closer. We're like, actual friends now. He's a much cooler guy when he isn't trying to get into your pants all of the time. _And_ he's only suggested a threesome once. I promptly kicked him in the shin.

Wheezy knows because Rachel let it slip out during one of her "girls' night sleepovers" with Mercedes and Kurt. Mercedes is cool though. If I'm not mistaken, she was the first person Kurt came out to at McKinley and it isn't like she went around screaming it through the halls.

Blaine's okay because A) He's family and B) He doesn't even go here.

I do think that other people are starting to get a little suspicious, though. Mostly the other kids in Glee. It makes sense, I have completely changed the way I treat Rachel in public. For starters, I always acknowledge her. The insults have also completely ceased. Usually, okay, every time I see her, a smile appears on my face. Mostly people just think we've developed a friendship since working on our duet together. That's fine; it'll make telling them all the truth that much easier later on.

Hmmm... what else is there? Oh yeah! I haven't had sex in four weeks! No lie, this is the longest I've gone without sex since I lost my virginity. Granted most of it wasn't that good, but still, it was sexual activity. Let's just say, I've become more acquainted with _myself_ in these past few weeks than ever before. It's Rachel's fault! Sometimes, I wish I still despised those little school girl skirts she wears. Now all I want to do when I see her in one is drag her into the nearest closet and fuck her senseless. I swear that she hikes them up higher and higher every day. Now I know exactly how all of the boys feel when they see the Cheerios.

Despite my current spell of sexual frustration though, it's been totally worth it. Rachel and I have been hanging out a lot and I like her more and more every day. I've even spent some time with her and her dads! We played Monopoly. I really should have been prepared for how competitive Rachel would be. She's also a really sore loser. The game took us three hours to finish (which isn't actually that long for Monopoly) and I totally won. I didn't even rub it in her face, but she was still so angry she didn't win that she stormed off to her room when the game was over. It was super childish, but she's so hot when she's mad that it didn't even matter.

Rachel really wants to meet my parents, but that's easier said than done. Don't get me wrong, I want them to meet, it's just difficult to get my parents home. And then there's the whole Mom thing.

Anyways, long story short, Rachel and I are great. I'm happy. We're happy. I'm even starting to like musicals. And I only kind of wish that May 3rd would get here sooner.

~:~:~

I make the long trek to the choir room and when I get there I spot an empty seat in the front row between Rachel and my bestest best friend, Brittany. Best. Glee. Rehearsal. Ever. I'm pretty sure Mr. Schue is going to give us an assignment today. He gave us Monday through Wednesday off and usually when he does that, it's because he has an assignment he wants us to work on over the weekend. What on Earth could it be?

"So, every one I hope you enjoyed the little break I gave you. I'm hoping that you'll all work extra hard on this assignment that I have for you. Now, none of you are going to be performing _this_ week because I want you guys to connect over the weekend," Mr. Schue says and then turns towards the white board.

"I knew it," I murmur under my breath and as if they're in cahoots, Rachel and Brittany smack my arms. All I can do is look at both of them with my "What the fuck?" look.

Now at the whiteboard, Mr Schue writes "One Hit Wonders" on the board. As per usual, Frankenteen is the first to pipe in, "I don't get it. Why do we need all weekend for this assignment?"

"Ahhh, I'm glad that _you_ asked that question, Finn. Along with finding a great 'One Hit Wonder,' you are also going to add choreography."

Groans and grumbles come from everywhere. I am dying with laughter. I feel like I'm the only person who noticed how Mr. Schuester said that. He totally just made a dig at Finn and I am in heaven! Once again: Best. Glee. Rehearsal. Ever.

"Now, now. I know that not every one is great at choreography like Brittany and Mike. But I'm not asking for anything elaborate. I just want you all to move a little more _while_ you sing."

On my left, Brittany is beaming and on my right Rachel is looking rather perplexed. Behind me, Puck is going, "Pssst... Santana... Hey!"

I turn around to find out what he wants and he says, "Work with me on this! I have a great idea! Trust me."

I turn to look at Rachel and she's discussing things with Kurt and then Brittany who is making plans with Tina, "Okay, Puckerman, whatcha got?"

"'Come On, Eileen.' There's a really cool Ska cover of it that would be really awesome to come up with dance moves for."

"That actually sounds like a really great idea. Who's the band?"

"Save Ferris."

"Like, in the movie?"

"Yeah, but it's the name of the band."

"No shit."

"Sorry, that was pretty dumb."

Suddenly, we hear Mr. Schue, "Okay guys! It sounds like you've all got some great stuff up your sleeves. I'm giving you all tomorrow off but I'm still expecting great things! Some of you I'll see in class tomorrow and the rest of you: see you Monday.

YES! See you Monday, Mr. Schue! I'm not in Spanish. I'd rather be trilingual than a cheater.

"So, you're going to work with Kurt?" I ask Rachel as we walk towards her car, "What are you guys going to do?"

"We don't really know yet. We're going to do some research and then meet up tomorrow after school."

"Oh, cool," I say as I step into her car.

"We can hang out after. It shouldn't take us very long."

"Oh, Rach, it's okay. You can take as long you guys need. The assignment's important. Besides, I think Puck and I might meet up after school."

"You're working with Noah?" she asked kind of hesitantly.

"Yeah, he has a really great idea for a song to do!"

"Oh, I guess that's cool."

What's that supposed to mean? "Hey, Rach, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, of course I am. I'm just a little worried about this assignment."

No she isn't. She's totally lying. But then again, if she isn't lying then I'd be asking too many unnecessary questions. Then she might get angry. As sexy as Rachel is when she's angry, I don't really want her to be angry at me, "Babe, you know you're going to be fine. You and Kurt are going to pick some kick ass song and come up with some crazy Broadway dance moves complete with Fosse arms and Agnes de Mille turns," I. Am. Adorable.

"How is it that you always find the right thing to say?" Rachel says just after pulling up in front of my house.

I shrug my shoulders then lean over to her side of the car and kiss her. I guess she wasn't lying. She let the tip of her tongue slide across my bottom and I let a hum escape into her lips. When our lips part Rachel says, "We should probably get out of the car now. I think one of your parents is home."

I look up from Rachel's gaze at my driveway. Both my car and my father's car are parked there. I wish this definitely meant that he is the one who's home. Since there's never really a rhyme or reason to how the cars wind up parked, my parents end up taking whichever is parked nearest to the end of the driveway.

"It's okay if you don't want me to come in," Rachel says with that slightly hurt tone that kills me.

"No," I say confidently, "I want you to come in. You said you wanted to meet my parents. Are you ready?" She nods and then we both get out of the car.

Usually when we walk up to my house, we hold hands; not today. There's a fifty percent chance that my mother is in the house and I am still not ready for that. Before I open the door I turn to Rachel and whisper, "If my Mom is here, I'm going to introduce you as my friend. Please don't be mad at me."

"I know San, it's okay."

"You're the best," I say and squeeze her hand. I turn the knob of the unlocked door and start speaking loudly, "Hola! ¿Mamá? ¿Papá? ¿Estás acquí?"

I look at Rachel for a moment and then we hear, "¡Hola, mija! Estoy en la cocina."

I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I heard my father's voice. I let the gigantic boulder fall of my shoulders and grab Rachel's hand, "Come on!"

"¡Hola, Papá!" I say as I hug him.

"Hola, mija," he says and then kisses my forehead, "And who is this lovely young lady?"

"Papá, this is Rachel," I say through an uncontrollable smile.

"_The_ Rachel? ¡Ay dios mio! I feel like I am in the presence of la reina! Tana talks about you every chance she gets. I've never seen her happier! I know that you've been wonderful for her."

Rachel's face is almost completely red and I can feel my own cheeks burning. We make eye contact and without speaking she asks me if what he's saying is true. I give her a tiny nod and smile through my embarrassment.

"Well, as much as I'd rather stay here and get to know you through you, I do have to get back to the hospital. It was wonderful to finally meet you Rachel."

"I'm so glad that I finally got to meet you, too Dr. Lopez!"

"Oh, please call me Cris!"

"Okay," Rachel says and then out of nowhere, she jumps to give my Dad a hug. He returns the embrace and just smiles. He really is the best.

"Good night ladies. Don't wait too long to do your homework, mija."

"I will, Papá."

"I know. Te amo."

"Te amo, Papá," I say and kiss his cheek.

After he leaves, I can see a question lingering in Rachel's eyes. It's pretty obvious that she has no idea how to ask it. I'm a good guesser though, "You're wondering why his name is Cris?" She breathes out a smile. "He was born in Puerto Rico and his name is actually Cristóbal. But in America that makes it sound like his name is Crystal Ball and people think it's weird, especially in Lima, Ohio."

"And people in Lima aren't always the most accepting of differences."

"Exactly." After a few seconds of cute eye contact time I grab Rachel's hand and say, "Can it be cuddle time now?"

Rachel gives a fake sigh and says, "I guess so." She gives me a kiss and leads me to my own bedroom.

With the good luck I've been having today, I think there might be a make-out session in my future.


	2. Late Again, Miss Lopez?

Friday, April 29th

Rachel and Santana together count: 3 weeks and 4 days

Santana's self-inflicted-dry-spell count: 4 weeks and 1 day.

I have gym today. Vom. That's one thing that really sucks about quitting the Cheerios: Principal Figgins made Britt, Q, and me take gym.

Just in case you were wondering, Rachel and I did make out last night. A lot. Lots of ass grabbing, some hair pulling, and a little up the shirt action. Usually she swats my hand away when I start inching it up her belly, but I think some one else is getting a little anxious for this month to be up because my hand made it all the way up. And the sound that she made once my hand made contact pretty much ruined my underwear.

You know, I'm really quite proud of myself. Rachel may have had to smack my hands from her shirt but she's never had to remove them from her pants, well at least the front. The restraint I've had has been impeccable! Granted, I usually find my hand in my own pants when Rachel and I part...

I can't help it! She always leaves me all hot and bothered and I have to do something about it! I mean, clearly I wish it was Rachel doing something about it. To be completely honest, she's better than I am. So in actuality, doing it myself isn't even helping at all, it just makes me want Rachel more. What a mess... literally and figuratively. Hahaha! I had to make that joke! I wouldn't be surprised if Rachel does the same thing, anyways. There is no way she can just let it go! I kind of want to ask her, but I have a feeling it won't go over so well. Just thinking about her touch- OH STOP! Ugh! I'm like a horny dude... ew. Maybe I have a problem.

~:~:~

"Late again, Miss Lopez?" my Physics teacher asks as I walk into class five minutes after the bell.

"Did you already start teaching?"

"No..."

"Well, look at that! I didn't even miss anything! So, it looks like it doesn't even matter!"

"Just sit down."

I love being a pain in the ass. Everyone loves it. How do I know? Nearly everyone is laughing. Puck can't even contain himself. I sit down in the seat in front of him and say, "Hey, douche bag."

He's still laughing.

"Okay Puck, I know I'm hilarious and all, but it wasn't really _that_ funny."

The laughter continues.

"Mr. Puckerman, do you care to let the rest of the class in on what you think is so riotous?"

Finally Puck stifles his laughter and says, "No. I'm sorry teach. I'll shut up now."

After another two minutes or so, he giggles like a little girl. I turn around and whisper, "What is wrong with you?"

"I know _exactly_ why you were late," he says, "You and Rachel..." then he does the "fucked" motion with his fingers.

What?! Just when I thought Puck was cool, he says and does shit like that! I look back to check if Lame-o McIdiot is still trying to figure out how the overhead projector works (again) and turn back to Puck, "What the fuck is wrong with you? No we didn't... you know. I wouldn't tell you if we had anyways. Why would even think that?"

"You're happier than normal," he says all matter-of-factly, "Now, don't get me wrong, I've noticed the change in your happiness level since you and Berry started going out. However, despite the recent spike in your mood, the quality and frequency of your wise ass comments hasn't changed. Except for that one; that was not your best."

"I don't see where you're going with this," I also don't know where this "intelligent voice" is coming from.

"Well, I deduced that you must be just a little _too_ happy today. You also just came from gym. You hate gym. But, where is one of the best places to do it in the school?"

I really shouldn't play along with this, "The locker room..."

"Exactly. So either you and Rachel did it or you... you know."

I do know and thank god the lights are off because he would so be able to tell. "You're disgusting," I say and turn around to pretend to care about parabolas.

About twenty-five minutes later I feel something hit the back of my head. I whip around in my seat and give Puck a death glare. He just points to the crumpled piece of paper on the floor next to my chair. I scowl at him and pick it up.

_Hey, I__'__m sorry. It__'__s none of my business. Still meeting after school?_

I write "My house. 3," on the paper, crumple it back up and throw it at his face. That was satisfying.

The bell rings and Puck walks out of the class room with me. As we're walking towards the cafeteria I see Finn walking up to Rachel at her locker. He has a doofier expression than usual on his face.

"What is he doing?" I ask Puck.

"I don't know. I've seen him make that stupid face before, though. It usually happens when he's nervous."

"Isn't your locker around here?"

"Yeah it's actually right here-"

I drag him over to it and say, "Pretend you need something out of it," he just gives me a clueless look, "I'm gonna watch him!"

"You're paranoi- actually that's probably a good idea."

We both watch from Puck's locker. I can't really hear what Finn's saying to Rachel. I can't see Rachel's face either, just Finn grinning like the ass he is. I've seen these facial expressions before! Those are his "I'm the charming golden boy and you can't turn me down" looks! He just grabbed her hand! That's it!

"Wait, wh-" I hear Puck say but I'm already past being able to stop.

"Hey, Rach," I say as I get to them, suddenly extremely nervous.

"Hey, Santana," Finn says without letting go of Rachel.

"I don't think I was talking to you," now my fists are balled so tightly that my nails, that are really short, are digging into my palms.

Rachel takes her hand back from Finn and says to me, "Hey, San! I was just telling Finn that while I'm flattered that he's still interested in me, I have to decline his invitation to go out on a date with him."

I'm suddenly feeling much better, "Good. You really shouldn't go on dates with cave men." Or anyone that isn't named Santana Lopez for that matter...

Rachel winks at me before turning back to Finn, "I'm sorry, Finn. I hope you understand, but my heart lies elsewhere right now." Fuck yeah it does!

"Where did you even come from, Satan? And since when do you care about who Rachel is dating?" Finn asks me in his frustrated voice.

He seems to have completely ignored the last thing Rachel said. I answer his asinine questions, "Physics and ever since I don't let people I care about date assholes," or let assholes hit on my girlfriend.

"Whatever," Finn says and stomps off to his cave.

"You know you didn't have to do that," Rachel says to me once he's out of ear shot.

"I know, but I really like pissing him off, especially ever since..." and I stop, suddenly feeling a little sick.

"Ever since what?" Rachel asks.

I really don't want to talk about this right now. Not in the middle of the hallway in the middle of William McKinley High. It's hit me that I have both Finn's and Rachel's v-cards in my pocket. To make matters even better, Puck has suddenly appeared and I'm reminded that his in there too, "I don't feel very well. I think I need to eat something. It's that so-hungry-I'm-sick-feeling. I guess I should stop skipping breakfast."

Rachel quirks her eye brow up but says, "Okay, let's go to lunch."

Crisis averted.

Rachel walks in the door to the cafeteria before Puck and me and says, "Oooo! Tacos!"

Puck and I just look at each other and start cracking up. I know that I shouldn't, but I really can't help it. The best part is she's completely clueless. She turns around and just says, "What?"

She is just too adorable, "I'll tell you later. I promise."

"Fine," she says in her huffy-voice. More adorableness.

"Wait! Rach, you can't eat these!" I suddenly remember her vegan status.

"Actually, my dads threatened to sue the school if they didn't start offering vegan substitutes for everything they serve," she says with slight embarrassment.

"Hey Berry," Puck pipes in, "Don't be embarrassed about that! You've got beliefs and stuff and you shouldn't have to suffer just because the lunch ladies are lazy."

"Thank you, Noah. You know, sometimes you can actually be quite charming."

"Yeah, so freakin' charming. It's gross," I say and feign gagging.

We all load up our trays with tacos and tots and head over to a table containing most of the other glee kids. Well, containing basically everyone but Finn, Quinn, Mercedes and Sam. I'm assuming Finn is still camped out in his cave and Mercedes and Sam are meeting up for their glee assignment. I have no clue where Q is. I really don't care that much either. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that she looks at Rachel weird. And I don't mean like she wants to kill her in her sleep weird, I mean like she wants to prevent her from sleeping weird. Well, Q can back the fuck up and keep her weird gaze off of my girl. And here I was thinking she was "too freakin' straight."

"So, Rachel, we're still meeting in the library after school to find a song today, right?" Kurt asks with about five minutes left to lunch.

"Yeah, of course!"

"Okay, great! I think I might have some good ideas."

"Thank god because I don't have any."

A hush falls over the table. Then Mike, of all people, says, "Did I hear that correctly?"

"Rachel doesn't have any ideas for a glee assignment?" Zizes pipes in next.

"What is happening to the world?!" Tina says next in a sarcastic tone.

"Can you guys like, shut up! Considering it's usually Rachel's ideas that save our asses, you should probably keep your obnoxious flapping traps shut about a solitary time when she's idea-less," I snap at everyone.

The silence that has fallen over the table is completely different this time. I've never done this before. I just stuck up for Rachel instead of joining in on the tirade. The faces at this table are priceless, though. Everyone that doesn't know about our status as a couple has an identical look of shock on their faces. Kurt soaked up the silence and then started snickering. Brittany's giving me an invisible thumbs up. Puck has his "holy shit that was awesome" face on. And Rachel is a shade of pink I've never witnessed before and I have a feeling it isn't a good thing. Lucky for me the bell rings and lunch is over. We also don't have Glee today so there's time for this to dissipate.

Off to History aka nap time.

Never mind, we have a quiz. Fucking hell! Not that I'm not going to ace this shit or anything, it's just a pain in the ass. I'm actually getting an A in this class thanks to the speed reading skills I learned in middle school. My teacher actually thought I was cheating and made me miss glee one day to re-take a test. I re-aced it.

Santana Lopez might be a lot of things but one thing she is not is a cheater. Not in any aspect of my life am I a cheater.

I'm just gonna pull out my phone and text Rachel:

**To Rach❤️  
><strong>Taco is a euphemism for vagina, btw ;)

A few seconds later:

**From Rach**❤️  
>WHAT?! Ew! That's disgusting!<p>

_I know. I'm sorry, Babe! I didn't mean to laugh, I just couldn't help it!_

**From Rach❤️  
><strong>I guess it's okay. Why was Noah laughing though?

It might have slipped my mind to tell her that he knows about us...

_It's Puck._

**From Rach❤️  
><strong>Point taken.

_So, wanna meet up for a little in my car before you have to meet with Kurt?_

**From Rach❤️  
><strong>Love to.

~:~:~

I get to my house at 2:45. Fun time in the car with Rachel lasted a little longer than it should have making us both a smidge late for our meetings. I run up to my room to change my clothes before Puck shows up. He likes to show up early to be a pain in the ass so I probably have like five minutes to change into sweats. I don't think I'm allowed to complain though because I pull that shit all the time.

Just as I get to the bottom of the stairs I hear absurd pounding at the door. Puck is the only person that doesn't ring the door bell. I open the door and he's standing on my porch with his guitar slung on his back and sheet music in his hand. I have to admit, Puck does have swagger. Too bad he's a douche bag most of the time.

"Whaddup Lezbro?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're _my_ lezbro. It doesn't work the other way around. I'm not butch enough."

"Ummm... yes you are. You can pound down more beers than most of the football team and you're boss at like every video game PS3 has to offer. You're totes my lezbro. Can I come in now?"

"Only if you simplify that title to just Bro."

"Fine!" he huffs and steps over the threshold into my house. "So I have a few ideas for the song. I know that it has a female lead but I have a feeling that Schue won't like it if only one of us is singing. I think I can adjust the arrangement a little."

"So it's more like a duet?"

"Exactly. Lemme play a few things for you?"

"Go for it, _bro_!"

We spend about twenty minutes going through a few things with Puck's guitar and then decide that playing Tekken 3 is a much better plan. It's a game for the original PlayStation so the graphics aren't that good but it's still fucking badass. Also 9 times out of 10 I kick Puck's ass.

"I'm not really sure why you always suggest we play this, I blatantly kick your ass every single time."

"Honestly? Because you're a sore loser, but usually when you win you don't gloat _too_ much. So I'd rather play this with you than Rock Band."

"Why can't you always be this cool? Like right now, I feel like I could tell you almost anything because you're being a normal person," I say to him as my fighter basically drop kicks his across the screen.

"Anything?" Bam! KO!

"I said almost. But try me anyways?" What am I setting myself up for?

"Okay, now I'm asking you this as your 'bro' not as your pervy ex-hook-up," he explains as he mashes ALL of the buttons on his controller.

"Just ask Puckerman."

"How is it?"

"How's what?" Ooo I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the face like six times.

"Sex. With Berry."

What? Shit! He just KOed me! Wait, he's asking me this as my regular friend not my ex-friend-with-benefits. I should respect that and answer, right? Okay, "Honestly, it was amazing!"

He stopped molesting his controller long enough for my dude to literally run up his guy's torso and body slam him for the KO. After that he says, "Really?! I _knew_ Berry was the lady in the streets/freak in the sheets type- wait, did you say _was_?"

Of course it was wishful thinking that he would just breeze over that part of the sentence. Remember this is Puck your friend, not Puck the guy you used to call for a quickie, "Well, we haven't actually done it since we became a couple... and we aren't going to until we reach a month..."

"Oh. My. God. I NEVER thought I'd see the day that Santana Lopez was whipped. And I definitely never thought it would be for Rachel Berry."

"Really? Because I could say the exact same thing about you with Zizes!"

"Yeah, I know. She's totally worth it though."

"Yeah, you're right. Rachel's definitely worth it," we've completely stopped playing the game by this point and my phone is vibrating.

"So, you really like her?"

"I do. You were right today, I am happier than I was." I'm pretty sure I just missed Rachel's phone call.

"Rachel's chilled out a lot, too, you know. I'm gonna say you had a lot to do with that," I can't help but smile at this. Then he says, "I'm really happy for you. Both of you."

"Thank you," I say and wrap my arm around his shoulders, "I know I was a jerk about you and Zizes. I think I was just an angry lesbian at the time." My phone is vibrating again.

Puck laughs almost as hard as he did in Physics today and says, "I think you're phone is vibrating!"

I've officially missed two of Rachel's calls, "It was Rachel."

"Call her back! I need to head out anyways. Lauren and I are going out tonight."

"I'm pretty sure we're staying in tonight," I say before hitting send on my phone and putting it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rach! I'm sorry I missed your calls, intense conversations were being had."

"Uhh, it's okay. I'm here though."

"Oh, jeez! I'm sorry! Come in! The door's open!"

"Okay, see you in a sec!"

"See yah!"

"You're soooo whipped," Puck says through his "bad boy" smile.

"Shut up Puckerman," I say on our way to the door.

Just as we get to it, the front door swings open towards us revealing a pajama clad Rachel. It's also a surprised Rachel, "Hello Noah...?"

"Whaddup, Berry?"

"Uuummm, nothing much, I'm just, you know, here." There is definitely something up.

"Uh, okay," he turns back to me, "I'll work on the arrangement this weekend. We can meet back up on it on Monday."

"Sounds great! Thanks again, by the way."

"Anytime," he says and walks out with a wave to Rachel.

Once the door is closed Rachel turns to me and says, "I didn't know you were having Noah over to your house today."

"Uh yeah. We're working on our Glee assignment together, remember? I mean we wound up just playing Tekken, but still…"

"Oh, yeah, right." Something really isn't right about this.

"Hey, are you okay? It seems like you're upset about something."

"Yeah, no, I'm fine, San," I quirk my eyebrow at her, "Really! I'm fine! Come on, I really just want to snuggle for a while and watch a movie."

"Okay. But Babe, you would tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Of course I would," she says, resting her forearms on my shoulders. I place my hands on her hips, pulling her into me and remind myself of what her lips feel like on mine. Not that I forgot or anything, I just like doing it as often as I can.

"So, how'd your meeting with Kurt go?" I ask still holding onto Rachel.

"Great! Kurt had a lot of really fantastic ideas and we made a decision on what we're going to do. We'll definitely be at performance level by Wednesday."

I give her another quick kiss and say, "See! I told you there was nothing to worry about."

She slides her arms off of my shoulder while backing away and then grabs both of my hands, "Kurt had another idea, too..."

"For...?"

"For a double date?" Rachel says hesitantly.

"With him and Blaine?"

"Mhm."

"How happy would you be if I said yes?" This is my "how whipped am I, really?" test.

"Like 'I just got a call-back to originate a role in a new Broadway musical' happy," I furrow my brow inquisitively, she sighs, "A seven."

I am so whipped, "Okay."

"Yay! It's going to be fun!"

"I hope you're right. Now, can we get our cuddle on! My arms are empty and they wants to be wrapped around Rachel!"

"Yes, we can most certainly get our cuddle on now."


	3. Nobody Likes Being Tickled!

Saturday, April 30th

Just in case you were wondering the countdown to our Monthiversary is 3 days.

And in case you were also wondering if I have anything planned for said day, I do. It's a secret.

Rachel and I fell asleep on my couch last night. It was a complete accident and I freaked out when I woke up at 2:00 AM. I woke Rachel up with a rant in Spanish and made her get up. The last thing I need is for my mother to walk in and see us wrapped up together on the couch. Before we got to my room, I made sure to check the driveway. I know I was being a little over-paranoid but I can't really help it. My parents weren't even supposed to be home and I was totally aware, I mean that's why were staying at my house. I'm just still not ready to let my mother know that her only daughter is an abomination.

Rachel was so drunk with sleep, I basically had to carry her up the stairs to my room. By basically, I mean I did. Somehow I managed to lift her onto my back and give her a piggy-back ride up the stairs. I know, super cute. My legs were already tired by the time I got to my door so they were absolutely burning when I had to lower her onto my bed. Then I turned around and watched her curl up in my bed and felt those butterflies creep into my stomach. I had to wake her up again to get her to come under the blankets with me, but when she did she snuggled right into my side.

This morning I woke up unable to move due to Rachel being almost completely on top of me. I loved it. It was like a Rachel blanket. I stroked her hair a little and started waking her up. I really didn't want to but she had a dance class to get to. She didn't want to get up either telling me that she was too comfortable and she could skip dance. She had told me 12 hours prior to that that I wasn't allowed to let her skip dance class. Eventually, I resorted to taking the pillow out from under my head and smacking her with it. It worked, but she was pissed. It's okay, she'll thank me later.

Now, I'm home. By myself. Playing Assassin's Creed. I'm so gay.

~:~:~

Not good timing on the text message Puckerman! I'm so fucking close to killing this douche bag. Pause.

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>Hey Bro! Black Ops?

_After I kill Tamir._

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>Dude! You're only on AC 1?!

_I've beaten them all! I just decided to start over. Now shut up! I'll text you when I'm done._

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>I totally think we're bro soul mates, btw. Broul-mates if you will.

_I'm NEVER going to let you live that statement down._

Ugh! I really hate having to chase these fuckers just to kill them. Seriously, just accept my secret blade in your throat so we can all get on with our lives. But alas, they always have to run through the fucking streets so all the guards know what Altair looks like. It's seriously impossible to be a good assassin when your targets are all pussies that run away from danger. And there's my phone buzzing again! Why is it that the only time I get bombarded with texts is when I'm doing something extremely important? Pause.

**From BrittBritt:  
><strong>Hey bestest best friend! :D

_Hey Britt! What's up?_

**Text from Britt Britt:  
><strong>Santittany time? Like now-ish?

Looks like Black Ops is out. Brittany trumps Puck every time.

_Uh... yes! Just a warning tho, I'm playing a video game._

"It's okay I just want to spend some time with my long lost best friend."

The second I heard her voice behind me I jumped up off the couch and leapt over the coffee table. Like a fool. "¡Ay dios fucking mio, Britt! How did you get in?!"

"The door was unlocked." She's dying with laughter by the way.

I must have forgotten to lock it when I walked Rachel out, "Oops."

"What are you playing?"

"Assassin's Creed. The first one. I've been trying to kill this one guy for like 20 minutes now, but I've been getting texts since found the dude."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm just gonna sit down and let you finish whatever you have going on here."

"Thanks," I say and find "resume memory." It takes me like five seconds to kill the asshole but then it takes me another ten minutes to get back to Headquarters because of the stupid ass guards that suddenly become relentless when you just so happen to kill some high profile dude in the middle of the street.

After I save the game and exit out of it, "Okay, Britt, I'm all yours!" Her mouth is agape and she's still staring at the TV screen, "Hey, Britt! Awaken!"

"You just killed like a million people!"

"I don't think it was that many, but yeah...?"

"How can you play a game like that? It's so violent!"

"It isn't real, Britt. It's just something to do."

"I need to cleanse my brain. Open up Netflix, we're watching _The Fairly Odd Parents_. And we're cuddling! I don't care if Rachel objects! This is a best friend cuddle, totally different than a girlfriend cuddle."

I throw my hands up, "No objections here! Pick a number."

"Hmmmm..." she hums, scrunching her face and moving to sit on the couch with me, "Three."

I choose the third _Fairly Odd Parents _option in the list and start the first episode. I slide over on the couch, wrap my arms around Brittany's arm and put my head on her shoulder. Immediately, her head lands on mine. She's right, best friend cuddles _are_ different than girlfriend cuddles.

~:~:~

It's funny how quickly mindless cartoons make time go by. We have managed to watch two hours of this show without even noticing. It's now three o'clock in the afternoon and Rachel is picking me up at four for our double date with Kurt and Blaine.

"Britt?"

"Yeah, San?"

"I really hate to end this, but Rachel's picking me up in an hour and I have to get ready."

She juts out her lower lip in a pout and says, "Tell her you're sick!"

"You know I won't lie to her."

"I know! You're like a great girlfriend or something," she says, faking disappointment, "So, what's up for tonight?"

I sigh and say, "A double date with Kurt and Blaine."

"No way?! That's so cute!"

"I know, it's going to be a gay ol' time," I say with my classic sarcasm.

"Oh shut up! You like Kurt and Blaine isn't that bad."

"Yeah, I know and Rachel really wanted us to do this-"

"And you're whipped to the point of no return," she says with a laugh.

"Okay, I'm kicking you out of my house now," I say through a smile.

Hugging me she says, "It's a good thing, though."

I roll my eyes at her and say, "I know."

~:~:~

Rachel's a few minutes late picking me up. She sent me a text saying that after her dance class she had an impulse to buy paint for her room and spent two hours picking out a color, making her late. I shouldn't have suggested we paint her room some weekend. I think tomorrow might be the day. She also told me not to wear a dress tonight. Lame. What the fuck are we doing that I have to wear pants? There's my phone!

**From Rach❤️  
><strong>I'm here! Can you bring me a sweatshirt? It's chilly!

She's so cute. I grab two zip-ups from my closet and head downstairs.

"¡Hola, mija!"

"Ummm... hola, Mamá."

"¿Adónde vas esta noche? I was hoping we could talk about something."

Ummm... nope! That doesn't sound like a good idea. That could be anything, but now I'm a little worried. Thank god I'm leaving, "Realmente, no sé. I have to go though, Mamá. Mi amiga, Rachel is waiting for me and we're already late."

"Alright, mija. Have a good time," she says to me in her disappointed Mom voice that isn't affecting me at all right now, "What time will you be home?"

"Umm... I'm actually staying at Rachel's house. She lives over by the middle school."

"Oh, well then," I don't like that way that sounds, "Te veré cuando te veo."

"Adios, Mamá."

Whatever. I think.

~:~:~

We're miniature golfing. While I'm not enjoying the activity, I am enjoying the company. I'd forgotten that Kurt is actually just as much of a judgmental bitch as I am. We've been cracking on people's outfits for the last forty-five minutes. A conclusion has been made that far too many people in this town get dressed in the dark. I really don't understand why it's so hard for people to match their clothes.

"Who told that woman that she could wear plaid with stripes?" I ask as Rachel sets up to putt.

"Probably the same person that told her husband that hat was good idea," Kurt says about the camo cowboy hat her husband is sporting.

I turn my attention back to the game just as Rachel sinks a hole-in-one, "Aaaaahhh! San, did you see that?!"

"Babe, how are you so good at this? I am absolutely heinous."

"But you're doing a really good job losing," she says putting on her "cute face" that I can't get mad at.

"It's because I'm taking all of my frustration out on our fellow Lima-ans and their terrible fashion sense."

"It's more than terrible," Kurt joins in.

"You guys are awful," Blaine says through a laugh.

"Hey, it's not like we're making fun of people for being fat or having odd shaped heads or anything," I say.

"Exactly, fashion is something you have complete control over and if someone is going to choose to walk out of their house looking as though Frankenstein's monster is their stylist, then we're going to judge them. And you're not stopping us," Kurt elegantly places on our table of discussion.

"I'm not sure I accept your explanation, but I'll let it go," Blaine says. I'm not really sure how I feel about him. I don't know, there's just something about him that seems off.

"San, it's your turn," Rachel says with a little bit of impatience.

"Can't you do it for me? I suck at this!"

"No way! You are losing this game fair and square! This is Monopoly revenge."

"Fine," I say and place my ball on the little circle cut out of the Astro-turf, "How much longer 'til we get to ride the go-karts?"

"Two more holes," Blaine answers. I feel like I should be able to come up with something witty but I'm at a complete loss. I'm losing my touch.

"We're never going to get to them if you don't hit the ball, San," Rachel says and stamps her foot.

I turn around and without even attempting to aim, just smack the ball with my club. It rolls straight up the ramp and flies over the wall that blocks the way to the hole. It lands beyond the hole, but keeps rolling until it hits the wall where it changes direction and plunks into the cup. I stand there for a few seconds then turn around and yell, "YES!"

Rachel, Blaine, and Kurt are all as shocked as I was and are all standing there with their jaws open.

"Okay, time to pick your jaws up and get moving to the next one!"

"San, that was awesome! You weren't even trying!" Rachel says after everyone collects themselves and starts walking towards the next hole.

"I know! I'd be mopping the floor with you guys if I'd figured this out sooner," I say close to Rachel's face.

"I doubt it," she says, flicking my nose. She then proceeds to walk away, swishing her hips.

1. Dayum. and 2. In the words of Mercedes: Oh hell-to-the-no, "No. You. Did. Not!" I yell and start after her. She looks back just as I get her, but it's way too late because my hands are already at her ribs tickling her relentlessly.

"No... San... Aaaaahh... Come on... San... Stop it!" She's so mad but she's laughing so hard she's crying.

"Say that I'm the queen of Monopoly and accidentally the best at mini-golf!"

"NO!"

"Say it!"

"Yourethequeenofmonopolyandaccidentallythebestatminigolf!"

"Okay," I say stopping instantly.

"I hate being tickled!" Rachel says, smacking my shoulder.

"Nobody likes being tickled!" I say, wrapping her up in a hug.

"Hey, do we have to get you two a room or can we keep playing?" Blaine yells to us. Well, I've made my decision: I don't like him.

"Oh keep your skinny jeans on! We're coming," I yell up to him. Then I say to Rachel, "Did he have to yell that? I know some of the people here and they know my Mom."

"I don't think anyone's paying attention to us, San."

"Maybe not us but some of them are paying attention to them," I say pointing up to Kurt and Blaine who are currently holding hands, "So anyone could have been listening in on what he just said."

"Why don't you say something to him? He'll understand if you explain. Just try not to be super confrontational about it."

"What? Me? Confrontational? Never?"

"Okay, San."

"Rachel it's your turn," Kurt says as we get to the 17th hole, "And Santana, look at that woman over by the pirate ship!"

"No she is not wearing tights as if they were pants!"

"Oh, even I can't stand for that," Blaine butts in.

"Oh, umm, Blaine," non-confrontational, okay, "Ummm... so, my Mom doesn't know about, you know, me and a bunch of the people here know her... and... you know how the people in this town can be?"

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Santana! I had no idea! I never would have said that! Oh I feel like a jerk."

Alright, maybe he isn't that bad, "It's okay, I just get kind of paranoid about it."

"No, I totally get it!" He sounds pretty sincere.

"It's your turn, San," Rachel says walking over to me.

"Time to get my hole-in-one on again!"

I bring myself over to the starting... thingy and put my ball down. Just as I pull my club back, Rachel says, "You're ass looks great in those jeans, by the way." I hit the ball so hard that it gets a ton of air and splashes right into the pond. Everyone is keeling over with laughter. I don't laugh at first but suddenly the ridiculousness of it hits me and I laugh so hard tears are streaming down my face and my stomach is throbbing with pain.

"Let's skip the last hole," Kurt suggests and no one objects.

GO-KART TIME!

~:~:~

We followed up the go-karts with some good old fashioned BreadStix so Rachel and I got back to her house at about 8:30. We went straight to her family room to watch a movie, assuming her dads had gone out. Wrong! They were totally making out on the couch! We stopped dead in our tracks. I laughed silently and Rachel gasped so loud that her dads heard her and jumped apart. Then they started laughing and apologized to us. Rachel couldn't speak, so I said to them they shouldn't have to apologize for getting their mack on in their own house. More laughter ensued between the three of us and then they looked at each other with that look. You know, _that_ look. Rachel knows that look too and she was mortified.

Her dads are upstairs and we're watching _Inception._ Rachel turned the surround sound on just in case. We've both already seen this movie but it's the first one Rachel thought of that has a lot of really loud parts. She really doesn't want to take any chances. I think this is hilarious and totally awesome for them. Then again, they aren't my dads.

"I can't believe that happened!" Rachel says during a quiet moment in the movie between Juno and Jack. I have no idea what their names are in _this_ movie.

I turn over onto my back so that I'm looking up at her from her lap, "Oh come on Rach, your dads are human. They have every right to get it on."

"Oh, that is so gross!"

"You know what I say? 'Go dads!' You know, most married couples don't have sex after a while. You should be happy for them!"

"I'll be happy for them when I know for a fact they _aren__'__t_ doing it anymore."

"So when you see them tomorrow morning?"

"Exactly."

I laugh a little and say, "I hope when you're married one day your kids troll on yours and your spouse's sex life."

"Oh, you're so kind," she says sarcastically.

"I know," I say and turn back to the movie. Rachel starts running her fingers through my hair. If the movie wasn't so loud I'd probably fall asleep on her lap. Actually, I would like to go to bed, but I don't think Rachel wants to venture upstairs yet. Hmmm... I know something that will take her mind off of her dads. I sit up and look at Rachel with my best "devious eyes." She isn't even looking away from the movie.

New plan: I take Rachel's arm and put it around my shoulders. Automatic head on her shoulder. This gives me optimum positioning to attack her neck with kisses. She can't ignore my lips. I lay small kisses all the way up her neck.

"San... no... we can't..." I get to the spot behind her ear and give it even more attention, "We... mmmmmm."

There's the response I was looking for. I give her ear a little nibble and then turn her to face me. She shakes her head at me but then leans forward and puts her lips right on mine. It's my favorite kind of kiss. The kind where our lips are interlocked. Her bottom lip is between my lips and my top lip is between hers. We break apart and go back for more over and over, until I part my lips let my tongue roll across her bottom lip. She parts her lips and my tongue finds hers. I point my tongue and run it up the bottom of hers and then pull her bottom lip between my teeth and drag them over it. By now I've got her backed into the corner of the sectional and I'm straddling one of her legs.

There's only one thing that I'm _really_ concentrating on other than showing off my exquisite make-out skills: Don't let Rachel's leg make contact!

Rachel's hands are all over my ass. She's even reached them up my back under my shirt. My hands are completely messing up her hair. I start massaging the back of her head with my fingers and kiss my way back to her ear. When I get there the leg that I'm straddling, finds it's way up to me. Of course the one thing that I needed to not happen, happens. We have to stop.

I whisper into the ear that I'm already near, "Babe, can we go upstairs?"

"Are you getting tired already?"

I sigh and say, "No, it's just that... we have to stop..."

"What's the matter, San?"

I guess I have to tell her, "You... sort of... touched me and once I get to a certain point there's no returning for me. I have to stop it before it can get there."

She gives me a kiss and says, "It's twelve-oh-four, two days left."

"It's that late!? You bought paint and we have an entire room to get done! Let's get to sleep!"

"All you got out of that was the time!"

"Pssht! As if I haven't been counting down the days to the epic-ness that I have planned for you! Now let's go to sleep because when we wake up it'll be even closer."

A huge smile appears on her face. She gets up and quickly shuts everything off. We pull out our cell phones and maneuver our way to the stairs in the kitchen. We won't pass her dads' bedroom this way. We do our little flirty teeth brushing routine in the bathroom and then snuggle up in Rachel's bed. I told her how my I enjoyed my Rachel blanket this morning, so tonight she's automatically recreated the scenario. After a little while Rachel says, "San?" into my chest.

"Yeah, Babe?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you."

I think I'm falling in love with her.


	4. I'm Googling It!

Sunday, May 1st

I had a really hard time falling asleep after my revelation appeared last night. It's all I could think about. Honestly, for a few minutes I tried to talk myself out of it, but then Rachel shifted on top of me and there it was again. I am falling in love with Rachel and I'm totally okay with it. Hell, I'm more than okay with it, I'm like... you know what, I don't even have words for how I feel about it. I just know that I like it and I'm only a little scared. Okay maybe a little more than a little. This is a big thing! I think I'm supposed to be scared. Right? Or maybe I shouldn't be scared at all? Maybe this is a sign! Wait, no! You see! This is what kept me up! Arguing with myself over something I know nothing about. This is completely new for me.

I have to talk to Brittany. She always knows what to say in these situations. Later though. Right now I need to find my Rachel blanket.

~:~:~

"¿Dónde está mi manta de Rachel?"

"I'm in the closet."

"No! Rachel, come back out! I can't have a straight girlfriend!"

She steps into the doorway of her closet and shakes her head at me with her arms crossed. I crack up laughing. It isn't even that funny but I can't help it. Now she's looking at me like I just sprouted a second head, "I'm not really sure what you're laughing at, that wasn't even funny."

"I know!" This is like, uncontrollable, "It's like... I'm drunk or... something!"

She's still staring at me. Her facial expression has changed, though. She's now sporting a look of confusion. The look of confusion turns into a goofy smile that turns into laughter, "You're... contagious!"

So is she, because now I'm laughing even harder. I'm laughing so hard, I fall out of the bed. Now Rachel's completely gone. She leans her shoulder on the door frame and slides down to the floor. By this point, every single time we make eye contact, our laughter intensifies. In order to end the absurdity, we have to stop looking at each other. It's kind of hard for me, because I love watching Rachel laugh. She seems to be having a similar problem because we keep catching each other's glances. This has to stop! My abs are killing me! I finally cover up my face with my hands and get my breathing under control. I refuse to take my hands away from my face until I'm positive that Rachel has stopped laughing. When I do, Rachel's face is really close to mine. I'm startled for a second and upon seeing me jump, Rachel starts giggling. I refuse to let this escalate! I grab her face and pull her into a slightly aggressive kiss. Works every time.

"I'm glad you taught me that trick," I say when she pulls away.

"After that kiss, I am too."

"What can I say, I'm a pro!"

"You keep telling yourself that."

She really thinks she's slick, "You're lucky I like you so much, I'd never that slide with anyone else."

She scrunches her nose in response and then kisses me again. Then she says, "So, are you ready to start painting!?"

"What time is it?"

"Nine."

"Yup, just what I thought! It's way too early! I think we've discussed this before. I'm going back to bed and I _really_ think you should join me."

"Oh, come on!" she says as she plops down on her butt, "We have to start early, we have a lot of square inches to cover!"

"Fine, but I won't be happy about it until it isn't early anymore, so you're gonna to have deal with quasi-bitch Santana until noon." Ugh! I really have to learn how to say no to her!

"I think I can deal with_ quasi_-bitch Santana," she says and jumps back to her feet.

I follow suit and turn around to get one last look at the bed I wish I was occupying. I look up and out Rachel's window on the other side of the room and a smirk pops up on my face. Saved! "Hey, Rach?"

"Yeah, San," it sounds like she's back in the closet for some reason.

"Have you looked out the window yet?"

"Yeah, it's raining. Why?"

"You've never painted before, have you?"

"Not in a long time," she returns from the closet, "I don't see where you're going with this."

"Babe, we can't paint today."

"What!? Why not?!" She's so upset.

"Because it'll take too long to dry. It's not like we can start painting right now. We have to move the furniture and tape everything. That could take hours and you know we're gonna take breaks. You also said it yourself: we have a lot of square inches to cover. And it might dry funny."

"You're just trying to get back into that bed!" Oooo, complete attitude shift, "Well, you know what Santana Lopez: it's not going to work. I'm Googling it."

"Go for it, Babe! I'm just gonna curl up in your bed and hope that my cuddle buddy comes to join me," I say, turning on the adorable.

"Uh uh, no way! You're not going to get to me with your cuteness!"

I just shrug at her and throw the covers over myself. A few minutes later Rachel is curling up to me in her bed. When her head gets to my shoulder I ask, "So, what did Google have to say?"

"That you were wrong and it's perfectly okay to paint _indoors_ when it's raining. Well, you _were_ right about it taking a longer time to dry but we do have all day. And only one question responder said that it might dry a little flat, but that was all."

"So, why are you in bed with me?"

"Because your cuteness got to me. And you looked so comfy over here. And I didn't realize that painting would be so much work! It's Sunday and I wanna sleep-in with you!"

"Ha! My cuteness is absolutely irresistible!" I'm picturing myself doing a cabbage patch victory dance right now.

"It is. Now stop gloating and cuddle with me!"

If there's a god or goddess of Lazy, Rainy Sundays, I'm thanking him or her right now.

~:~:~

It's one o'clock on a rainy, Sunday afternoon and I am lying in bed tangled up with the girl that I'm 90% sure I'm in love with. If I wasn't so afraid it would probably be 100%, but fear always creeps up on me. It won't get the best of me though.

I've actually been awake for the last twenty minutes just taking this all in. I'm taking in everything; from the way Rachel's hair smells, to the way the skin on her legs feels on mine, to the hand she slid into my shirt that's resting on my chest, to her breath on my skin, to the way noticing all of this consumes me, to how my lips feel on her forehead when I kiss it.

"You're awake?" Rachel suddenly says into my chest.

"Uh... yeah... I have been actually," I'm not really sure why I feel nervous.

"You're heart's been beating really fast for a few minutes; I thought you might be having a nightmare or something and then you kissed my forehead."

"I was just thinking... about you... and us... and about how I..." STOP! Whoa! Where the hell am I going?! Sometimes impulses shouldn't be followed. I am not ready to tell her that yet.

"About how you what?"

"How I really love just being here with you. I feel like we fit together like Legos."

"You're such a dork," she says and buries her face into my shoulder, kissing it.

"Oh come on, that was a kick ass simile!" I am not helping my case by throwing out terms like "simile."

"Hey, I like dorky Santana! She's endearing." She looked right into my eyes when she said that second part and I know I saw her pupils change. I remember learning in Biology freshman year that when mammals see something they're attracted to their pupils dilate; humans are no exception to this. I think the percentages just shifted.

Rachel put her cheek back onto my chest and started tracing things on my chest with her finger. She mostly traced hearts and our names, but at one point I could have sworn I felt the words I and you traced onto me. I don't know what came in between them, though. After a few more x's and o's Rachel looks up to me and says, "San, I know that you're really into this whole stay in bed all day thing, but I was just wondering if we could maybe do _something_?"

I sigh and ask, "Like what?" I swear that didn't sound frustrated, despite the sigh.

"Like go to the movies. It's raining! That's what people do when it's raining. Besides, I kind of feel like I owe you for ruining your plans for our first date."

"Rachel, you didn't ruin anything. Look at us now!"

"Hmmm, so then I guess I did just the opposite because if I hadn't ruined your plans we might not have come back to my house and had that weekend."

Well, truth be told with the way the date was going I'm sure I would have found myself at her house anyways, but she might still have a point, "Funny how things wind up working out."

"Mhm," she says and for the first time since we woke up, we find each other's lips. After the kiss Rachel says, "So, are you going to let me take you to the movies or not?"

"Rachel Berry, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Why yes, Santana Lopez, I am. Would you do me the honor?"

"Well, when you say it all fancy like that, how could I possibly turn you down?"

"So that's a yes?" she asks and I nod, "Yay! Okay, I'm gonna go shower and stuff! Will you look up movie times and whatnot?"

"Sure."

"Okay, any movie you want, just nothing too violent? I'm not really prepared for that today."

I laugh a little and say, "Okay, Babe." Before she can detangle herself from me, I kiss her. I make it last a long time, not that there are any protests or anything. I eventually let her go and she jumps out of the bed. She runs out of the room towards the bathroom and just as I'm about to get up, she runs back into her room, grabs my face and kisses me again. After she pulls away she wiggles her fingers in a wave, turns around and heads back for the bathroom.

Little does Rachel know that I'm actually a huge sucker for romantic comedies. I've seen _Love Actually_ like a million times. I know Hugh Grant's opening monologue by heart and I know what every single card that Andrew Lincoln's character shows to Keira Knightley says. I will always stop and watch _Pretty Woman_ and I abso-fucking-lutely love _You__'__ve Got Mail_. I even own _Imagine Me & You_. Betcha didn't see that coming, did you?

There's a rom/com that I've wanted to see for like a month and half but I feel like the theater at the mall isn't going to have it anymore. I'm going to look for it anyways. Hmmm... I wonder how Rachel will feel about going to a theater three towns away just to see a movie? Doesn't matter! She told me to pick!

"Hey, San! Bathroom's all yours! Did you find something?" Rachel says to my back when she comes back.

"Yeah, I did! But..." I've turned around in her swivel chair to witness a towel clad Rachel and I'm reminded of the last time we had sex. I shake it off, literally, and continue, "... how do you feel about going to a theater a few towns over?"

She sighs and says, "Are you worried about people seeing us and telling your mom?"

"What? No! That didn't even cross my mind!" Surprisingly, it really didn't, "It's just the only theater around that has the movie I want to see. It's been out for a while, that's all."

"Oh. I'm sorry. No, I don't have a problem with that. What are we seeing?"

"It's a surprise! Don't worry though, very minimal violence. I have to go shower quick though it starts at three-fifteen and it's already two!"

I brought all of my things with me into the bathroom. It's easier than trying to change in Rachel's room with her in there. She isn't getting a peek at this until the Third. So, after I shower, I throw on the shirt I brought for today and yesterday's jeans. I have a feeling it's chilly and the skirt I brought isn't going to cut it. Rachel said my ass looked great in these anyways. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and put a little make-up on.

When I get back to Rachel's room, she's sitting at her desk on her computer. I can see over her shoulder that she's on the movie listing site. She's trying to figure out what we're seeing, "I erased the history. That's why you can't figure it out."

"Sneaky."

"I know. Ready?"

"Just let me grab one thing," she says getting up from her desk. She walks over to her side of her bed and picks something up from the floor. I smile when I see that it's the sweatshirt I let her borrow yesterday. My smile gets a little bigger when I see her put her nose to the inside of it. She looks up and says, "Okay, now I'm ready."

~:~:~

We got to the theater twenty minutes before the movie started. Rachel was sufficiently shocked to find out that we were seeing a romantic comedy. She was excited though. She was so excited, she splurged and bought us the gigantic popcorn bucket. No butter of course, there could be literally anything in that shit. We headed to the theater that our movie was in hand-in-hand. I have a feeling I looked a little ridiculous carrying the popcorn in one arm, but holding Rachel's hand was more important to me. Besides, we don't know anyone here so I didn't care.

When we got into the theater the previews had already started. I'm not really sure how it took it us twenty minutes to get our tickets and the pop corn but whatever. We couldn't really see that well when we walked in so we stood at the end of the aisle for a bit waiting for bright moment. Rachel noticed that the back row was empty when it did get bright and we headed straight for it. I was actually little surprised she was the one that spotted that first and was so enthusiastic about sitting there. I was the one that noticed that the armrests lift and instantly removed the one between us. Just for effect, I did the "stretch and yawn" trick. Rachel laughed at it but still automatically put her head on my shoulder.

Too bad this movie is really good because otherwise, I totally would have initiated a back row make-out session by now. I mean, that's why they were invented. I'm pretty sure even Rachel thought there was going to be some making-out had. She chose these seats. But alas, I'm a sucker for rom/coms and Rachel loves all things sappy, so of course we're both completely engaged in this movie. There was even a moment when we both gasped at something. I'm pretty sure it's almost over though, things are getting happy and I think Rachel's crying a little.

Aaaaannnnd... credits. Rachel looks up at me and sniffles, "This always happens to me at the end these kinds of movies!"

I kiss her cheek and taste the salt from a tear on my lip when I pull back. "It's endearing," I say and then hand her a napkin.

"How do I look?" she asks me after she finishes dabbing her eyes and blowing her nose.

"Beautiful as always," I say and kiss her. I've completely forgotten where we are. It isn't important.

After the kiss, Rachel takes my hand in hers and brings it to her lips. She lets them rest on my knuckles for a few a seconds before saying, "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Manage to make me speechless. It's pretty hard to do."

Wow. I'm just being honest. Wait! Say that out loud, "I'm just being honest."

"And there you've done it again," she says and then looks around the theater. We are two of four people left, "Maybe we should get going?"

"Fine. I guess they have to clean this place for the next showing, or something."

We get up hand-in-hand again and walk down the stairs. We're so busy making cute eyes at each other that we don't notice the other couple is making their way out of their row. As if we timed it, the guy steps into the aisle just as Rachel and I make it to the same step. Since neither one of us are really paying attention to life outside of our eye contact, Rachel crashes right into the guy, "Aaah! Oh, I'm sorry- OHMYGOD!"

I gasp in unison with the woman the guy is with because the dude that Rachel just collided with is Mr. Schuester. The woman is Miss Pillsbury. Like seriously?! I see Mr. Schuester look up from somewhere between Rachel and me and I notice that we're still holding hands. I start to feel panic creep into my throat.

"H-hey Rachel, Santana. What brings you two all the way out here?" Mr. Schue asks.

"Yeah, I thought all you kids went to the theater at the mall?" Miss Pillsbury added in a panicked tone.

Suddenly I realize that this situation isn't as bad I had originally thought. We've caught each other. If anything this is worse for them than it is for us. I think Rachel's figured this out, too and since she has a little more compassion than I do, I'm going to let her do the talking.

"Well, Santana really wanted to see this movie and this was the only theater around still playing it," Rachel explains.

Miss Pillsbury looks really worried. I mean more worried than her usual state. She and Mr. Schue just keep looking back and forth between each other and Rachel and me. Rachel also refuses to let go of my hand. Finally after a little more awkward silence and glances Mr. Schuester says, "Well, I'm really glad to see that the two of you have developed a... _friendship_." On the last word he looked at our clasped hands once again.

Then out of nowhere I blurt out, "We aren't going to tell anyone!" Man, these impulses are something else.

Then, because she totally gets me, Rachel says to them, "Yeah, because, you know, we get it." She emphasizes her point by swinging our hands forward a little.

"Thank you!" Miss Pillsbury squeaks out, "We won't say anything about you two either. I mean, not like there's anyone we would tell or anything."

"Wow, things totally make sense now!" Mr. Schue says out of nowhere.

In unison Rachel and I say, "What?"

"I was wondering what was up with you two! Ever since your duet you guys have been different. I didn't know what it was. I was actually starting to get a little concerned, but now I get it!"

"Okay...?" is all Rachel could get out.

"I know it isn't easy to be gay at McKinley, so just know, if you ever need anything, I'm always here for you," he says.

"Both of us," Miss Pillsbury adds.

"Thank you," Rachel says and squeezes my hand, hard.

"Yeah, thanks!" I jump in. In the corner of my eye I can see the ushers waiting for us to clear out of the aisle, "Hey, Rach, we should probably get going, it's getting late."

"Oh, yeah! Umm... thanks again Mr. Schuester, Miss Pillsbury. See you Monday!"

"See you Monday, ladies!" Mr. Schue says as we walk past him to the exit.

When we get to the other side of the door I say to Rachel, "That was so weird!"

"Yeah, it was. Let's try not to think about it."

"Done."

"Hey, I have to go to the ladies room, want to go grab the car and I'll be out in a few?" Rachel asks me.

Hmmm... this is a little weird, but I get to drive Rachel's car so I'm not going to question it. "I get to drive the Awesome-mobile?!," she nods and I say, "Gimme the keys!"

Rachel pulls her keys from her bag and hands them to me. I give her a little peck on the lips before I turn and jog out of the lobby, into the parking lot. I love driving her car! I circle the parking lot a few times just for the hell of it before pulling up to the doors. Despite my little rendezvous, I still wind up waiting for Rachel. When she gets into the car she says, "I'm sorry, San, there was a line and lots of little children."

"It's okay, Babe, I drove your car around the lot a few times. I love this thing!" I say as I pull away from the theater.

"I'm aware of my competition thank you very much," she says sarcastically.

I answer seriously, "There's no competition, you win."

Rachel reaches across the car and slides her fingers in between mine. I love this. She does this thing where tucks her thumb in between our hands and rubs it along my palm. It gives me butterflies every time.

~:~:~

Rachel totally set the GPS wrong. We got lost twice. It took us an extra thirty minutes to get home. I finally grabbed it off the windshield to check the settings and she had it set to shortest distance _and_ walking route. Seriously?! Once I changed it to fastest time and _driving_ it took us fifteen minutes to get home. All Rachel had to say was, "Oops." Pssht! Oops my ass! I hate getting lost! Oh yeah, she's also been texting some one since we left the theater.

When we get into her house I finally ask her, "Who have you been texting this whole time?"

"Ummm... Kurt. Actually I have to call him so we can discuss our Glee assignment. In private. I'm sorry! Want to just watch a little TV for bit while I talk to him? I promise it won't be long."

She put her stupid cute pouty face on. I can't say no to it. "Fine," I say and head to the family room. I sit there watching something dumb and let myself get more and more frustrated the longer I have to wait.

After about twenty-five minutes Rachel calls out to me from the kitchen, "Hey, San can you help me with something?"

I let out a throaty sigh and head to the kitchen. "What's up?" I ask when I get there.

"It's in the backyard, come on."

"But it's wet out there!" I groan.

"Will you please just come out here and help me?" she asks calmly, pulling my arm towards the sliding door.

"I seem to not have a choice in the matter."

She gives me a look but turns and leads me out to her pitch black deck. She stops us and says, "Close your eyes."

"Why?" I ask. I'm getting a little sick of this.

"Just do it! Please!"

I roll my eyes but close them nonetheless. I hear Rachel walk away from my side and then walk back towards me. She turns me a few degrees towards the left and then says, "Okay, open them!"

I shake my head a little out of impatience and then open my eyes. I close them back up when I feel tears coming to them.

"What do you think?" I hear Rachel say from my shoulder.

I wipe a tear from my eye, sniffle and say, "I... can't... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, your face says enough," she says and kisses a tear off my cheek, "Now come on, I didn't do all this just for us to stare at it."

She takes my hand and leads me forward. In front of us is the gazebo lit by hundreds of mini white Christmas lights. There's a blanket on the floor with two unlit candles. On either side of the blanket there is a plate with pasta and meatballs. In the middle of the blanket, in between the candles is a container of bread sticks. Not just any bread sticks, BreadStix, bread sticks. She takes me to my side and I just stand there as she goes over to hers, "San, sit down!"

"How did you do this?" I ask looking at everything around me.

She lights the candles and says, "I called BreadStix while you were getting the car and then I asked Daddy to go pick it up. I was really texting him in the car. The guy at BreadStix said that the food was going to be 40 minutes and it only takes twenty to get from the theater to my house-"

"So you got us lost on purpose," I say finishing her sentence.

"Exactly. By the time you figured out the GPS, my Dad had already texted me to tell me that he had picked up the food so everything was all set. All I had to do was figure out a way to set everything up. I'm sorry that I made you upset."

"No, don't be sorry. Rachel, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. You put so much thought and effort into this... I... I still don't know what to say." I really don't.

"I told you, you don't have to say anything. I got you the same thing you got on our first date and I made sure that they gave us _a lot _of bread sticks. So, just eat your food and look up every once in a while so I can look into your beautiful eyes."

That's it, I am one hundred percent sure that I am in love with this girl.


	5. I Know What I Saw

Monday, May 2nd

After the most romantic night of my life, I had to go back to my house and sleep by myself. That was a little depressing. I didn't want to leave her. All I wanted was to fall asleep with her body touching mine. Monday always comes after Sunday though and Monday always means school from September to June. School means no sleepovers.

I'm going to tell her how I _really _feel about her. I have something really great planned for tomorrow and I'm going to tell her then. I think over twenty-four hours is enough time to work up the courage to say it. I've already put in the request for my cojones to appear.

Puck and I are meeting during lunch in the choir room to rehearse our song for Glee Club. We're trying to choreograph a kind of swing dance that stays true to the fact that it's a Ska cover. The song really is great. We're both going to be singing in it. Puck changed a few things here and there in the arrangement so it works for both of our voices. He's secretly a musical genius.

Oh! Story of the day so far: Rachel and I made out in one of the second floor girls' bathrooms. It's the first time we've made out in school. Well, since the Auditorium Incident. And _she_ initiated it. I think she's getting anxious for tomorrow. No objections here. After what she did for me last night, she can do whatever she wants to me. I have a feeling it was her response to the dress I wore to school today. I'll just say it's tight and short and barely legal to wear to school.

And now I must change out of my clingy dress because one cannot skank in such attire. Skank... meaning ska dancing. Come on... this is Puck we're talking about.

~:~:~

"Oh, come on! You mean to tell me that you're not gonna be rehearsing in that dress?" Puck whines as I walk into the choir room.

"Ummm... I think these sweat pants answer your question, Grossmaster 3000."

"Oh please, Santana, you know I'm just messing with you."

"Yeah, but it's still fun to make up ridiculous names like Pervy McPerverson."

"I don't make fun of you for being a lesbian."

"Because that's different! I don't make fun of you for being Jewish either."

"Touche, Lopez, touche. So! Ready to get your Swing/Skank on?"

"Ummm... duh."

Puck starts the music and says, "So I've watched a bunch of videos of Ska shows and it seems like a lot of kicking and circles. Really I think we should just have fun."

"That doesn't sound like a plan."

"I was thinking this would come to us organically."

"Whatever," I say then I grab his hand and we start doing fake swing dancing moves. Then Puck lets go completely and just starts kicking his legs out and flailing his arms around. "What the fuck are you doing?!" I quasi-yell to him.

"I'm skanking!"

"You look ridiculous!"

"I know! But it's fucking awesome! Try it!"

What have I got to lose? I start kicking my legs and flailing my arms like Puck. He's right this is fun. I actually kind of get lost in it. I get so lost, I crash right into Puck and we both fall to the floor. Well, actually, he fell to the floor and I fell on top of him. There's a brief moment where we're both really shocked, but then the hilarity of the situation takes over and we both keel over laughing.

Through his laughter Puck says, "I don't... think we can... rehearse... anymore... today!"

"I think you might be right," I say gripping my stomach, which is now in pain from laughing so hard.

"Okay, I'll see you later in Glee."

"Later, Puckerman."

To the cafeteria!

~:~:~

I don't really feel like changing back into my dress. Besides, school's almost over anyways. It's also much easier to nap through History when you're already wearing pajamas. And let the sleepy times commence!

I've learned to set an alarm so that I'm awake before class is over and the bell doesn't wake me up. Well, actually the bell _doesn__'__t_ wake me up and that's the problem. However, I have learned that my phone on vibrate in a certain place does, so now I'm never late for Glee Club.

Hmmm... why is Rachel sitting in the back corner by herself? That's weird. "Hey, this is a new seat for you. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says in a huffy tone.

"I don't really believe you, but for now I'm going to let it go. I feel like you don't want to be bugged about it." This isn't the arena for prying.

For the rest of Glee the two of us pretty much sit in silence. We watch Artie and Mike's creative performance of "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World. Then Mr. Schue decides it's a good idea to teach us some new dance steps, so we're forced to get up. After about a half an hour of torture he lets us go.

"Hey, Rachel, wait up!" I yell to her as she power walks to the door. "Hey, what's the big rush? We're still going to your house right?" I ask as I catch up to her near the exit to the parking lot.

"Mhm," she hums at me.

When we get into her car I turn to her and say, "Rach, what's the matter?" She simply lets out a heavy breath and rolls her eyes at me. "Okay, Babe, whose ass do I have to kick?"

Now she turns back to me and through an angry glare says, "It depends. Can you kick your own ass?"

What the fuck?! I have no idea what she's talking about and I know that my face shows it. Everything was just perfect! All I can get out is, "W-what?"

"We were so close! I can't believe you couldn't wait one fucking day! And after last night!? I can't fucking believe you would do this!"

I still don't know what she's talking about and I really don't like where she's going with this, "Rachel, what are you talking about?"

"Oh come on! I saw you!"

"You saw me, what?"

"You and Noah!"

"When? In the choir room? We were dancing!"

"Oh please, you were doing a lot more than dancing," then her tone completely changes from angry to hurt, "I saw you two on the floor. You were on top of him."

"We bumped into each other and fell!"

"I know what I saw."

Suddenly it hits me why she didn't seem so keen on Puck and me working together on our Glee assignment and I am beyond pissed, "I can't believe this! You don't trust me!"

"Well..."

When I'm angry, I have a hard time controlling what comes out of my mouth and I say anything, "You know, I may have a lot of notches on my bed post and I may have sabotaged _other_ people's relationships, but I would never, ever cheat on some one I'm in love with!"

Yeah, I did just say that. Sometimes my impulses really get the best of me. She looks like she's going to cry. I can't take this. I have to get out of here, "I-I have to go... I can't be here."

I get out of Rachel's car as fast as I can and run back towards the school. The whole time I'm hoping that Brittany hasn't left yet. I smash through the doors and head for my locker, maybe Britt's at her's? Nope. Tears are brewing when I start for the choir room. As I get closer to the door, I can hear music with a heavy beat and I know it has to be Brittany's. She's there going through some choreography with Tina. All I do is stand in the doorway and hope that Britt turns around. She finally does and the moment we make eye contact I start bawling. I have no idea what she said to Tina but she leaves the choir room through the other door and tells Britt that they can finish tomorrow. Brittany walks over to me, wraps her arm around my shoulders and says, "Come on. I'll drive you home."

Neither one of us says anything during the car ride. I want to tell Brittany why I'm crying but I can't stop. Brittany isn't going to pry either, she knows I'll just get angry with her if she continuously asks me "what's wrong?" So, we sit there in silence, with the exception of my sniffles, until we get to my house. Even then, neither one of us speaks and neither one of us makes to get out of the car. Brittany places her hand on top of mine and I immediately peel myself away from the window and bury my face into her shoulder, "She doesn't trust me, Britt!"

Brittany just strokes my hair in response.

"She thinks that I'm this sex maniac who can't even hold out for a month and has to jump on whatever bones she can find!"

"Did she say that?"

I pull my head away from her to make eye contact, "Well, not exactly..."

"Okay, what actually happened?"

"Rachel saw Puck and me rehearsing for Glee and thought that we were going to do it on the choir room floor."

"Well, were you?"

"Of course not! Come on, Britt! Ew! Puck and I were dancing around and we crashed into each other. He fell on the floor and I just so happened to fall on top of him. Clearly Rachel only saw the two seconds that this lasted because afterwards we were literally rolling on the floor laughing."

"Do you think maybe to someone looking on, someone that cares about you a lot, might see something else, though?"

"Oh come on, it was Puck!"

"Exactly! You two do have a 'friends with benefits' history."

"Are you saying that Rachel shouldn't trust me?"

"No! I'm saying maybe she doesn't trust Puck. You still haven't told her that he knows about you two, for some reason, so maybe she just thought... I don't know. She's also been hurt before. Jesse St. Asshole used her and Finn lied to her about you. Remember?"

"But she's gay! She didn't even really like them!"

"Are you listening to yourself right now, San? Remember when you thought you were straight? I'm sure that when Rachel was in those relationships she wholeheartedly believed she was in love with them. Look, San, I'm not saying that she's right or anything, but I'm not saying that you are, either."

"Well it doesn't really matter anyways because I've probably ruined everything!"

"How? What did you do?"

"It's not what I did. It's what I said."

"Okay then what did you say?"

"I... I let it just... slip out that I'm in love with her! It's not how I wanted to tell her! How do I manage to fuck up everything?!"

"San, Rachel really cares about you. She was just jealous and jumped to a conclusion! I really don't see how telling her how you feel about her ruined anything. Neither one of you were thinking clearly. What did you do after you said that?"

"I ran..."

Brittany just sighs. Before she can say anything I jump in, "I know what you're going to say: I can't just run from things when they get hard. I know! I just couldn't be there. Everything was wrong! I just needed to be somewhere else. And now it's all fucked! She probably doesn't even want to talk to me!"

"I really don't think that's the case. San, you told her what really happened didn't you?" I nod. "Well, now she's had all this time to think about it and I'm sure she's really pissed at herself for jumping to conclusions. Try to see this from her side."

"Well, I can't! I too stuck on my side, feeling like shit!"

"Okay, honestly, Santana, now you just sound ridiculous."

"I'm going into my house now. I'll see you tomorrow." I slam Brittany's door closed and make my way to my front door. I grab my key from its new spot and realize that I have to find another new place for it. Just another thing to be frustrated about. I slam door number two and head straight for the stairs up to my room. I'm just going to lie in my bed and get my emo on. Remote. Point. Play.

~:~:~

I cried myself to sleep. How pathetic. I don't even know _how_ I fell asleep considering how obnoxiously loud my music has been playing and still is playing. I'm done with the angsty playlist. When I turn the music off I hear this weird clinking noise.

"What the fuck?" I ask no one. It sounds like it's on my window. Now this is some movie shit. There are currently pebbles being thrown at my window. By Rachel. It's really corny, but it's still really romantic. I'm going to open my window but I'm still pissed at her. After I look in the mirror: "Holy shit!" I practically yell and scramble for my make-up wipes. Rachel cannot see that I've been crying! No way! I don't even remember putting this much make-up on my eyes this morning.

"Okay, ready," I assure my reflection before opening my window.

"I thought you were never going to turn your music off I was going to ring the door bell but I didn't think you'd answer it then I figured you'd get so annoyed with the constant clanking at your window that you'd have to open it to at least try to shut me up so I determined where your room is located in your house and ran over here but your music was playing so loud and I didn't know what to do so I just sat and waited and then you finally turned it off and I know that the whole 'throwing pebbles at your girlfriend's window' thing is a little cliché and all but I just... I..."

"It's romantic," I break into her nervous rant. I don't think she took a single breath.

"San, can we talk? Please?" Her desperation is killing me and I can just hear the tears in her voice.

"Don't move, I'll be back in a second."

"Wait, where are you going?" I hear her yell out as I search for my key to throw down to her.

"Catch," I say and throw down my key, "Can you find a new place to put it? It can't be in the mailbox or under the mat."

"Okay," she says through a huge smile.

I watch her until she turns the corner to the front of my house then go back to the mirror to reassemble my eyes a little. They're still puffy from crying. No matter how much I try to cover it up she's going to know. I don't care.

I hear knocking and then, "San?"

I take a deep breath, unlock the door and pull it towards me. There's Rachel nervously picking at her finger nails. She isn't looking up from them. I let my eyes wander around her, soaking in everything I can about how she might be feeling and then finally say, "Hi..."

She looks up at me with tears streaming down her cheeks, "San, I'm so sorry! I don't know why... I just... I got so angry when I saw you and Noah in the choir room and I... I should have said something to you about it when you asked me last week... I don't know, I just... I just..."

She's working herself up to a sob. I really hate seeing her cry. I take two steps forward, wrap my arms around her and say, "I'm sorry."

"Wh-what are you s-sorry for?" she asks through sniffles, into my chest, "I'm the one who f-freaked out for no reason. You w-were right, I didn't trust you! I was wrong and now I feel like such a... an asshole!"

"No, I am sorry," a few tears are falling down my cheeks now, so much for reapplying my make-up, "I should have told you that Puck knows about us. I don't know why I didn't-"

"Wait," she looks up, "Noah, knows that we're together? Oh now I feel even worse!" She buries her face back into my chest and starts crying again.

"Babe, please stop! It's okay! I'm not mad or upset or anything anymore! I just want you to stop crying. You've been put through some shit by a couple of douche bags and you were trying to protect yourself. I know that's why you got so mad and I get it." As much of a pain in the ass Brittany can be sometimes with her knowledge, she's almost always right. I'm sending her telepathic hugs and thank you's. I feel Rachel's grip around my waist get tighter, "Rach, do you think we could go into my room now? It's much better than my hallway."

She nods into my chest and loosens her anaconda grip on my waist, "Okay."

I take one of her hands into my own and we walk the two steps into my room. She keeps walking into it as I close and lock the door behind us. I know that there isn't anyone else home, it's just a little habit.

"I put your key in the light next to your front door."

"Thank you," I say as I sit down in my desk chair, "How long were waiting outside my window?"

"Forty-five minutes, I think. Maybe an hour. I lost track after a while," she says from my bed still sniffling.

"Seriously? I can't believe you sat out there for that long."

"All I could think about was what you said in the car... before you ran off. I thought that I'd messed everything up! I don't want to lose you, San." Here come more tears.

"I thought that _I__'__d_ messed everything up," I mumble.

"Santana, you told me... you said that..." she takes a deep breath and asks, "Do you really feel that way?"

I think my heart is actually trying punch through my chest, "Rach, I... that's not how I wanted to tell you..."

"But you still said it..."

"I know," I say and bury my face in my hands. I can't look at her. I did fuck things up by saying that. Shit!

"San?" Rachel's voice seems a little closer than before.

"What?" I say into my hands.

"Will you put your hands down and look at me?" I do and Rachel is kneeling right in front of me. She takes a deep breath and says, "I love you, too."

I look at her and with just my facial expression ask, "Really?"

She smiles and nods. Then she says to me, "I'm going to kiss you now."

Through a few tears I choke out, "Okay."

She puts both of her hands on my face, pulls me closer to her, and places a kiss on my lips. I've been sitting with my legs crossed and it's causing Rachel to be way too far away from me. I break away from the kiss simply to uncross my legs and spread them. I put my hands on Rachel's waist and pull her closer to me. She brings her hands back to my face and kisses me again. I deepen the kiss as one of her hands slides to the back of my head, her fingertips massaging my scalp. I pull her into me even closer and slide my tongue along her bottom lip. Her lips part and I slowly move my tongue forward to find hers. We're taking our time with this. It's slow but it isn't lazy. This is actually the most passionate kiss we've ever had. I don't want it to end. I bring one of my hands to her neck and rub her ear with my thumb. It's one of those spots that always gets her and she lets a moan escape into my mouth. Her hand has found its way to my back and into my shirt. It's moving to my front and I feel it inching up. Her fingertips trace the bottom of my bra then start moving up again.

"Rach," I breathe out. I hate that I have to break away from her.

"Yeah, San," she says, her hand in the same place and her lips placing kisses on my neck.

"It's still May 2nd."

She brings herself to face me and takes her hand out of my shirt, "What? You're stopping this because of a few hours?"

"Babe, this was your idea, remember? Besides, by this point, I'm determined."

"Wow, I really didn't think you'd stop me, but you did and..." she sighs and then says, "I love you."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises." I take her in for a moment and say, "I love you, too."

She kisses me again and when she pulls away I say, "Stay here tonight. I know it's a school night and your dads don't really-"

"I'll come up with something to tell them. Are either of your parents supposed to be home though?"

I wrack my brain for a second trying to remember my Mom's schedule, "I'm ninety-nine percent positive she won't be home until after we go to school in the morning." I realize that she asked me about both my parents, "My dad kind of has an indeterminate schedule."

She gets a sad look in her eyes, "San, are you ever going tell your mother? I know you don't think she's going to be very accepting but she's still you mother, she'll always love you."

"That's the problem. She loves me too much for me to be gay. I don't really want to be sent away to straight camp. Don't worry, I'll tell her sometime. I'll tell her when I move out and go to college at least four states away."

She sighs and shakes her head and says, "Okay, as long as you know you can't _always_ lie to her." I roll my eyes and she says, "I don't want you to think that I'm trying to force you to do something you're not ready to do, though."

"I know. You're just being my supportive girlfriend. I appreciate it, I just don't really want to think about that right now, not when you just told me you love me back. I'm kind of sitting on Cloud Nine right now and I don't really want to come down."

"Well, would you hate me if I did my homework while you sit there? I'm still working on straight A's for the year."

"Go for it. Just being in the same room as you is enough."

She's blushing as she says, "Okay, I'm going to go to my car to grab my stuff and call my dads." She kisses me, jumps up and heads for the door.

Just as she's opens the door I say, "I love you!"

She turns back to me says, "I love you," and walks out of my room.

~:~:~

I'm pretty sure I haven't finished my homework this early since the first grade. I figured if that was all Rachel was going to be doing for who knows how long, I might as well get mine done. Now I'm just sitting on my computer stalking people on Facebook. She still isn't done with hers. At least I don't think she is. Let me just turn around for a second... yep, still writing furiously. "Hey, Babe, what are you doing?"

Without looking up she says, "Trig."

Ew. Back to Facebook stalking I guess. Hmmm... since when do Sam and Mercedes talk so much? Ugh, I really can't stand Finn. He thinks he's so fucking great! He's really just a huge douche bag that only cares about himself. You know, Puck and Zizes are kind of cute.

"Hey, San?" Rachel suddenly says.

"Yeah," I say without looking away from my computer screen.

"Look at what time it is."

It's 11:59.


	6. Happy Anniversary

Tuesday, May 3rd

I've been waiting a month for this. I'm actually nervous. The last time I was nervous to have sex with some one was when I lost my virginity. No, I take that back. The last time I was nervous was the first time Rachel and I had sex. This is a different feeling, though. I think it's good. I've never felt this way about someone before.

I'm about to say something that I never thought I would say. I've always thought that it was corny and people should just use the word "sex." It also isn't very Santana Lopez of me to say either, but I think I'm about to make love to someone.

~:~:~

"Happy Anniversary," I say the second the clock turns to midnight, "I love you." I don't think I can say it enough.

Rachel gets off of my bed and walks over to me. She uncrosses my legs and straddles them, sitting on my lap. "Happy Anniversary, Beautiful," she says draping her arms around my neck. I feel my stomach flutter. I kiss her and she pulls back for a moment to say, "Te amo."

If my heart wasn't in the palm of her hand before, it is now. I wonder how much Spanish she knows. I say to her, "Bésame," and she does. "Otra vez?" She kisses me again.

She breaks the second kiss and says, "Te quiero."

I can see her pupils dilating and after I take them in, my impulses completely take over. I bring our lips together and she instantly moans into the kiss. My hands find her butt and I start to lift us both out of the chair. Rachel jumps a little and breaks the kiss. "Trust me," I tell her and start kissing her again. As I get up I feel the pressure of Rachel's arms on my shoulders get heavier and her legs wrap around my hips. I know exactly where my bed is. I take a few steps forward and lower her onto the bed, all without breaking the kiss. We continue moving in the same direction; Rachel's momentum brings her back down to the bed and I find myself straddling her right leg, hovering over her. Rachel's hands reach forward and pull my shirt over my head.

"I love the way your skin feels," she says as I lower myself to kiss her again. She grabs my shoulders and rolls us both over so that she's on top of me. Her lips meet the skin on my neck, then my chest, then my stomach. Her hands are a step behind her lips, moving down my body and feeling every inch of my revealed skin. She stops at the waistband of my sweat pants and starts tugging at it. I lift up and she pulls my pants off leaving me with only my bra and thong. She's standing at the edge of the bed over me, staring with her bottom lip between her teeth.

I take this moment to sit up and get onto my knees. I reach out and pull off her t-shirt. There's no bra under the shirt and her perfectly gorgeous breasts are in front of me. I inhale at the sight in front of me and say, "Tú eres tan bonita." She grabs me and pulls me forward into a kiss that brings a cliché to the back of my eyelids. I find my hands at the waist of whatever it is she's wearing for bottoms. I don't remember what she's wearing, all I know is that they exist and I want them off of her. Without breaking the kiss we both manage to get the pants off. She's wearing underwear. I'm kind of glad, it's one more piece of clothing that I get to take off of her.

I pull away from her for a moment to tell her, without saying anything that I want her on the bed with me. She obliges and we're now on our knees facing each other. All I want is to touch her. I love the way _her_ skin feels. My hands meet with every inch of skin on her back. Her lips are moving between the bottom of my ear and my shoulder. I feel her fingers unhook my bra and then slide the straps off of my shoulders. It falls into the space in between us and I quickly throw it off the bed. Her hands slide down my back, land on my ass and pull me to her, completely closing the very little amount of space that was between us. Our bodies are flush against each other. My nipples rub against her skin and with every single movement I become more and more aroused. Her hand slides to my front and inches up. She cups my breast then takes my nipple between her thumb and forefinger and starts rolling it.

"Oooooh... mmmmm... Rachel..." I might actually orgasm just from this. No. Not yet. I put my hands on her shoulders and guide her down towards the head of the bed. She slides her legs out from underneath her and I straddle her right leg again. I need her underwear off, now. I move over to her side to take them off of her and once they're gone, she pulls me back on top of her. Her hands are at my thong and I lift myself into a push up position over her. She pulls it down to my ankles and I kick it off onto the floor. I bring my knees back down and find her with my thigh. Rachel moans underneath me and brings her thigh up to me. I automatically grind down on it causing my thigh to rub harder against her.

She's so wet and she's already all over my thigh. I get this urge to taste her and when do I not follow my impulses? I move myself down her body kissing her skin the whole way. I follow her little landing strip to my destination and kiss her other set of lips. I lick my lip and taste her on it. I want more. I spread her lips and bring my tongue to her clit. "I love the way you taste," I say and lick her from her entrance back up to her clit.

Through labored breathing Rachel moans out, "San, wait?"

"What, baby?" I say in between licks.

"I... oh my god... San, I..." She grabs my head and pulls me back up her body to her face. She brings her mouth to my ear and whispers, "I want to come _with you_."

I prop myself up a little to look at her. There's so much want in her eyes I can't even see that her eyes are brown anymore; her pupils have completely taken over. "I love you," I say and she grabs my head and kisses me. I straddle her leg again and start dragging my fingers down her body. I find her clit a second before she finds mine. I trace circles over hers while she rolls mine in between her fingers, "Mmmm... Rachel!" I lower my self so that I'm grinding down on her thigh and I say, "Baby, I want... no, I need you inside of me! Please!"

I lift myself up a little, arch my back and watch her fingers disappear into me. My eyes roll back at the feeling of her inside of me. Her pace is excruciatingly slow but I know the exact reason. "San, I-" before she even has to say it, I insert my two middle fingers into her, "Oh my god, Santana!"

I'm riding her fingers and thrusting into her but there's no way I'll ever be able to find her spot from here. I bring myself forward so that I'm hovering over her, holding myself up with my hand.

We keep a steady pace, thrusting into each other. It's getting to a point where I really want this release. I want it to be with her. I bring my thumb up to her clit and pick up my pace a little. She does the same. Even though I can sense all of her signs I want to hear her voice, "Are you... getting... close?"

"Mhm... are you?"

"Yes!" I moan and thrust my fingers deeper into her searching for her spot.

"Oh my god, Santana!" I found it.

And she's found mine, "Fuck! Rachel!"

I come crashing down on my elbow and our bodies are once again flush together. I can feel everything. Her hardened nipples on my skin, her fingers inside of me, the sounds she's making. It's only a matter of seconds until an orgasm rips through every inch of my body. I keep my eyes open long enough to see Rachel's eyes widen and her chest heave with her orgasm. I feel Rachel grip onto the back of my neck and a little squeak of pleasure escapes her throat. Both of us slow down but remain inside of each other finding each others spots every once in a while causing the other to shudder a little. Eventually, we slowly pull out and my arm finally, completely gives out and I collapse on top of Rachel.

I manage to roll myself off of her after a little bit and I cuddle into her side. She turns herself to face me and says, "I love you, too."

"That was completely worth waiting a month for. _You__'__re_ worth it. And you have the most adorable O face."

She blushes a little and lowers her eyes at my last comment. She looks up with her eyes darting across my face and says, "You're so beautiful."

I smile and brush some hair off of her cheek, "You were so right. Waiting a month was really good for us. I am so in love with you and this, the unbelievable sex we just had and I'm sure we'll continue to have, means so much more now."

"Oh, after that, there's no way we're going any longer than a day without it. I plan on letting you show me how much you love me daily. And vice versa of course," she says through an adorably sly grin and then kisses me. I slip my arm under her shoulders an pull her into me. I don't want to let her go, but alas, "I have to pee!" she says and jumps out of the bed. She grabs the sweat shirt I let her have, wraps it around her and runs out the door.

I roll over onto my back and ache for her to come back. After about two minutes she's back snuggling into my side. I kiss her forehead and say, "I love you, Rachel."

"I love you, too, Santana."

~:~:~

"Naked is definitely my favorite variety of Rachel blanket," I say as Rachel peppers my chest with kisses. We set an early alarm so she can run home to get ready for school. While I'd rather stay here all day, she has a perfect attendance record to keep up. My mother will be home in a couple of hours, anyways.

"You, my love, are shameless," she says looking up at me from my chest.

Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, I say, "I like the way that sounds."

"What? That you're shameless?"

I laugh a little and say, "No, the 'my love' part."

"Oh," she says giggling. There's a blush growing in her cheeks and she buries her face back into my chest.

I kiss the top of her head and just as I bring my head back to my pillow I hear a car door slam. I'm suddenly a little panicked, "Babe, did you hear that?"

"It's probably just one of your neighbors going to work or something," she says without lifting her head. I wish that calmed me down. I know she can hear my heart beating. She starts planting kisses up my chest to my neck to calm me down, but it's only making it worse. I shake my head and she says, "San, everything is going to be fi-"

That was the front door slamming that interrupted her. Now even she looks a little stressed. She tries to cover it up by saying, "Maybe that's your Dad?"

I shake my head at her and soon enough there it is: my mother's pissed beyond belief voice screaming: "SANTANA CRISTINA MARIA LOPEZ!"

Fuck! Shit! And every other explicit word that's ever pounded against my ear drums.

I'm dead.

I'm positive she's going to come upstairs and kill me.

Rachel and I both leap out of the bed and frantically search for our clothing. For the most part it's all in one pile. Everything except for Rachel's underwear. Not a-fucking-gain! We don't have time to look for them either because my mother is already at the top of the stairs and we only have about fifteen more steps. I kick my bra and thong under my bed and pick up my shirt. Then, as I'm about to put my shirt on, I remember, "The door's locked! We have time!"

Rachel's face says it all: no, it isn't.

I turn around and there's my mother standing speechless in the doorway. She's taking in everything in my room. I'm frozen standing next to my bed with my arm across my chest, pinning my shirt to my front. Rachel is standing, fully clothed behind me. I see my mother's gaze go from her topless daughter to a spot on the floor. I follow her eyes to where they're staring and there's Rachel's underwear. I can't just stand here and not say anything, "Mamá-"

"No me llame eso. No es mi hija," she says without looking at me and without any emotion.

I think I can actually see my heart under her foot. I can barely breathe but I manage to say, "Mamá, déjeme-"

"¿Qué dije?" she says a little louder this time and right to my face.

"¡Déjeme explicar! ¡Por favor!" I yell through tears.

"¡No hay nada explicar! ¡Y quiero esta inmundicia fuera de me casa!" she yells pointing at Rachel.

I feel Rachel's hand on my back as I give one last cry, "Mamá..."

"AHORA!" she screams and storms out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

I yank my shirt over my head and start pacing around my room. It's aimless and since my thoughts are so scattered I can't concentrate on anything. I can't seem to catch my breath either. Or see very clearly. I head to my dresser to try to brace myself and I catch Rachel's reflection in the mirror. She's looking at me straight on, completely calm. Suddenly it feels like my chest is caving in and it's _impossible_ for me to catch my breath. I turn around to face Rachel, clutching my chest and sucking in way more air than I'm exhaling. It feels like the worst hiccups I've ever had multiplied by 100,000. I'm lightheaded and something as simple as standing is a chore. I close my eyes and feel my back slide down my dresser. I'm not even sure if I've reached the floor.

It's as if the entire world has fallen out from under me and all I'm left with are my thoughts and my lungs.

I'm lost.

For the first time in what has felt like hours, I can hear something. It's Rachel. She sounds like she's really far away from me, but she's getting closer. I focus on her voice until finally, I clearly hear, "Santana!"

I open my eyes and Rachel is kneeling directly in front of me with her hands cupping my cheeks. I didn't even feel her hands on my face. "Santana, focus on me. Tell me: what color is the shirt I'm wearing?"

I'm starting to find my breath and I manage to get out, "Red."

"Good. What color are my eyes?"

My chest still hurts but my breathing is almost under control. I look straight into her eyes and say, "Brown."

"Great. How many eyes do I have?"

I give her a glare and say, "Two," but then I understand why she asked me that. I gave her a classic Santana reaction and now she knows that I'm back. But what the fuck am I back from?

"How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a Mack Truck." I take a few breaths and ask, "What the fuck just happened to me?"

"You had a panic attack."

"Great! Now I'm a fucking crazy person!"

"No you aren't," Rachel says to me forcefully. "Santana, something very traumatizing just happened to you, that was your body's reaction to the catastrophic thoughts it caused."

Immediately I remember that "something very traumatizing" and frantically say, "We have to get out of here! Where's my mother?"

"Santana, look at me," Rachel says probably sensing that I'm heading back, "She left. After she stormed out of here, she ran down the stairs and slammed the front door. Then a car started and screeched away."

For the first time since the second before I heard that car door slam, I feel relieved. My whole body relaxes and I feel myself falling towards the floor. Somehow, Rachel manages to catch me and the instant I feel her arms around my body, tears fall freely from my eyes. Into Rachel's chest I say, "I'm so sorry, Rachel! Please tell me that you didn't understand what she said!"

She breathes heavy sigh and says, "I did. But it's okay. It's not like she grabbed me by my ear and dragged me out of your house or anything."

This is not the time for jokes, "No it isn't okay! Rachel-"

"San, stop! It is okay," she says with the same forceful tone as before, "I'm really not concerned about what she said about _me_. It wasn't my mother that just told me I wasn't her daughter. I'm not the one who just had a panic attack. You are. All I care about right now is how _you_ feel."

I don't feel anything right now, well, nothing but, "Empty..." and something else, "And abandoned."

She wraps her arms back around me and puts her chin on my head. I feel her throat vibrating when she says, "Although my situation was... is very different, I think I know how you feel."

I tighten my grip on her and allow more tears to fall from my eyes. I can feel Rachel's t-shirt getting wet underneath my cheeks. I lift my head up and say, "I'm sorry," gesturing with my head to the wet spot I've left behind.

"It's okay, beautiful," she says through a sweet smile. I lower myself back down to her chest and allow myself to just be surrounded by her. Her scent calms me and makes me feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

After about five minutes or so, Rachel breaks the silence we've sitting in by saying, "San, I think you need to get out of here. I'm not saying you need to pack up all of your stuff and move out; I'm just saying I think you need a different setting for a bit. And you _need_ to talk to your father." I nod and she says, "Come on, we'll go to my house. Pack for a few days. At least the rest of the week, just in case." I just sit there staring at her, "You have to get up, though."

Rachel gets up and extends her hands to me. She helps me off the floor and once I'm standing I notice the time. School started a half an hour ago, "Babe, you're late for school."

"I know. I knew I was going to miss school today when you started pacing. Your health is more important than my perfect attendance."

What on earth did I do to deserve her?


	7. I Think It's Called Schadenfreude

Tuesday, May 3rd (cont.)

I drove myself to Rachel's house. I figured it would be best if I had my car with me. I sent my Dad a text asking him to call me when he could. I'm sure that my mother went right back to the hospital to tell him about the two strangers in her daughter's room.

Rachel and I have been sitting here on her sectional for the last few hours watching trashy talk shows. They always make me feel better about myself. Something about these girls not knowing who their baby daddy is really makes me think good thoughts about myself. I think it's called schadenfreude. Rachel made me listen to the soundtrack of this musical about puppets and that was the name of one of the songs. It's all about how we find pleasure in other people's pain. I guess you could say it's harmless sadism.

But I digress.

Every once in a while, okay, like every ten seconds, I take my eyes away from the screaming mothers and focus them on my phone. He has to call sometime. Or at least text me back.

"San, your phone's vibrating," Rachel says waking me up out of my daze.

"What? Oh!" I pick my phone up off the coffee table, "It's my Dad! ¡Papá!" I say answering the call.

"Mija, I'm so sorry," the instant I hear his voice I start choking on my tears. "¿Donde estas?"

I can't even speak and I hand the phone to Rachel, "H-hi Dr. Lopez... She's with me at my house... No, she wasn't really in the right state to go to school this morning," I've calmed down a little and motion for Rachel to give me back the phone, "She wants to talk to you... Okay... Of course. Here," she says handing me the phone.

"Hola, Papá," I say sniffling.

"Hola, mija bonita. Cómo estas?"

"No sé. It's hard to feel anything, Papá."

"Your mother interrupted my surgery..." I take the phone off of my ear to put it on speaker, I don't think I'll be able to relay this story to Rachel,"... ortunately I was closing up when she burst in como una mujer loca. She waited in the OR until I was done and then dragged me into a supply closet to scream at me about how her daughter must be 'poseído por el diablo,'" Rachel grabs my wrist when she hears this and squeezes hard, "Mija, will you tell me what happened?"

"She just walked into the house screaming, Papá. It's like she already knew what she was going to find when she came upstairs. I don't think I stood a chance, even if Rachel wasn't in there with me. I think some one said something to her."

"She wouldn't tell me who told her. I think it was one of the ER nurses, though. Ellas son putas cotillas quien no pueden mantener sus bocas cerradas!"

For the first time all day, I laugh. Rachel is laughing too because she understood everything he said.

"Mija, am I on speaker phone?"

"Sí, Papá..."

"Y Rachel, tú comprendes?

"Sí..." Rachel responds.

"¡Ay dios mio!" A little more laughter ensues.

"Papá, I'm going to stay at Rachel's for a little while."

"I figured you would. That's okay, Mija. Whatever you think is best. But you know that I won't let her kick you out of the house, right?"

"I know, Papá."

"I'm always here for you, Mija. No matter what your mother says or does."

"I love you so much, Papá."

"I love you, too, Mija. And Rachel?"

"Yes, Dr. Lo- Cris?"

"Thank you for taking care of mi hija. You really are great for her. Un día mi esposa comprenderá que amor es amor," I feel a tear land on my arm that isn't mine, "I have to go, Mija."

"Okay, Papá. I hope I see you soon."

"You will. Please feel better and know that this is _not_ your fault."

"Gracias, Papá."

"You're welcome, Mija. Adios."

"Adios."

"I think I love your father as much as I love you," Rachel says after a few seconds.

I laugh little bit and say, "As long as you don't love him the _same way_ you love me, I'm perfectly okay with that."

"Don't worry, beautiful, I don't love anyone the way I love you." She's killing me with her romantic statements!

Two can play this game, "Can I see your hand for a second?"

"Umm... okay?" she says and opens up her hand in front of me.

"Yup, just what I thought. There it is!"

"There what is?" She's so confused.

And I'm so cheesy, "My heart. You've been holding on to it for weeks now. I think you should keep it."

She tucks her hand into her non-existent pocket and says, "Don't mind if I do." She sneaks a kiss, then looks over at the time on the cable box and says, "I'm going to go Glee. Is that okay?"

"Are you sure you can do that? You didn't go to school today."

"I'll just tell Mr. Schuester that there was a family emergency this morning but everything is okay now and I really didn't think I should miss Glee Club seeing as I'm 'the leader' and whatnot. Unless of course you want to come, then we should probably tell him the truth."

I'm not really sure what she's getting at, but I remember that sometimes Mr. Schue can be really awesome. Por ejemplo: last year he was really great with Quinn (I really don't give a shit about Finn) and earlier this year he really did try to help Kurt, it's not his fault Lima sucks. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he knew. I'd also really like to see Brittany. I wouldn't even mind seeing Puck. We do have to work on our assignment, "Okay, I'll go with you. And we can tell Mr. Schue why we missed school today."

"Okay, do you want to put real clothes on?"

I look down and remember that I'm wearing everything I had on last night minus my bra and underwear, "That's a good idea."

"Okay. We'll leave in ten minutes. That'll give us enough time to talk to Mr. Schuester and be on time to Glee rehearsal."

I stared at Rachel's face the whole time she was speaking. I really do love her. I can't believe she stuck around for all of this. She even missed school for me. I really don't think that I can say this enough, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

~:~:~

I let Rachel do most of the talking when we went to see Mr. Schue. I'm actually glad we told him. I even gave him a hug when we were done talking. Now, this isn't to say that I don't still think he's a douche bag about some things, but he's been really cool about this.

So far, Glee rehearsal has been okay, too. I think every one sensed that something was up since Rachel never misses school. To be completely honest, I rarely miss school either. I mean, I do want to get out of here after graduation and you can't do that by skipping school.

Rachel and I took seats in the empty back row and as soon as we sat down, Brittany, Puck and Kurt marched up the risers to sit with us. They definitely know something is wrong. I've kind of been in a daze this whole time. I'm not really sure what's happening on the floor. Mercedes and Sam are performing something but I never really caught the name of the song. Brittany's pinky has been linked with mine since she sat down and Puck just sent me a text.

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>I know that you and Rachel didn't skip to do it all day. What happened?

_Can I please tell you later?_

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>I really just want to know that you're okay.

_I'm better now. Let's rehearse later?_

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>If you're up to it, sure.

I think I actually need it.

Mr. Schue is teaching us dance moves again. He must really hate Finn's dancing. I just hate Finn, especially since it's his fault we're stuck doing this. Well, at least in my mind it is. I know it isn't my fault! I think Schue knows that we can only take a little at a time, though and lets us go after a half an hour like yesterday.

Brittany walks over to me after we're dismissed and asks, "San, what happened today? I'm guessing that you and Rachel are okay since you walked in together, but something else is wrong."

I need to tell her. There's no way that Mr. Schuester can know what happened today and not Britt. I take a deep breath and say, "Someone told her."

She's shocked, "Your mother? Oh my god, San..."

"Then she caught us," I look up as I say this searching for Rachel and I spot her talking to Finn. She looks really uncomfortable, "Umm... Britt, hold on for a second." Brittany turns to look where I'm looking and starts walking with me over to Rachel and the caveman.

"... I don't understand why you won't just tell me why you missed school today but then walked into Glee rehearsal with her!"

"She doesn't have to tell you anything," I say angrily from behind him.

He whips around his industrial sized body and says, "Once again, here's Satan poking her nose where it doesn't belong. Why don't you go find some guy you haven't fucked in this school yet? Oh that's right, there isn't one. Slut!"

"Oh that's fucking it!" I scream and then lunge at him. I put my shoulder down and wrap my arms around his torso. I must have really gone at him because I feel us going down. Finn isn't moving very much so the impact with the risers must have knocked the wind out him. I don't really know, I can't really hear anything going on around me. I am going to take this opportunity to fuck up his pretty face, though. Unfortunately, I only get two really good shots at him before some one is yanking me off of him.

Whoever grabbed me has a pretty tight hold, but I will get back to fucking up Finn's face. I kick my legs and beat at his arms until my feet find the floor and I start attempting a run. Just as the grip loosens there's another set of arms wrapped around me. Well, it looks like I'm not going anywhere. I'll just scream at him. Let's see what flies out of my mouth shall we:

"¡Te odio! ¡Tú eres un pedazo de mierda! ¡Bastardo! ¡Mantengas tus manos repugnantes apagado de mi novia!"

If I'm shocked by what just came out of my mouth, I can only imagine what's going through everyone else's minds. I really only care about what Rachel's feeling right now, though. This really isn't the way I wanted to come out to everyone and I know this isn't how she wanted it to happen. I look up and catch her gaze. Her facial expression is teetering between shock and fear. I flash her an apologetic look and the longer we keep eye contact, the more her shock and fear disappear. Eventually they're gone and all that's left is a smile. I think it's a proud smile. Like a "that's my girlfriend" proud smile.

I've realized that I'm no longer being held in a bear hug and see Puck and Mike standing on either side of me. Suddenly, the silent chaos in the room hits me. Everyone is looking between Rachel and me. This is really turning out to be the best fucking day ever, "How many of you understood that?" No one does anything, "Come on! There's no way none of you know what 'novia' means!"

Starting with Tina, one by one everyone but Brittany and Finn raises their hand. In junior high I told Britt I'd teach her Spanish if she took French with me, we haven't had time for lessons. Finn is too busy tending to his wounds to give a shit.

I feel Puck put his hand on my shoulder and then I hear Zizes say, "I knew there was something going on between you two."

"Yeah, you both have been weird for like a month now," Quinn pops in out of nowhere. I didn't think she cared enough to notice other people. She's also looking at Rachel with that look I only recently noticed.

"After what happened at lunch on Friday, I don't even think I'm surprised," Tina adds.

"So, you're all cool with this?" I say looking around the room, not that I care but I'm pretty sure Rachel does.

"No!" Finn grumbles from the risers, "Rachel is not gay! The bitch over there might be, but Rachel isn't!"

"Yes, Finn, I am and I'd really appreciate it if you would stop insulting my girlfriend!" You could feel everyone in the room shift their attention to Rachel, "She is not a slut and she is not a bitch. Honestly, she's a much better person than you'll ever be, so perhaps you should keep your mouth shut and go check up on the cuts she left you with because if you lose your face you've really got nothing left." Rachel's fists are balled tightly at her side and she's breathing heavily.

I fucking love her. I know my face shows it. I make eye contact with her and give her the biggest smile I can.

"Holy shit! That was AWESOME!" Puck shouts from behind me.

"Thank you Noah. Now if none of you mind, Kurt and I have to rehearse and Mr. Schuester told us we could have this room," Rachel says to everyone.

"I don't think any of you really want to mess with her after that either," Kurt adds.

"Oh yeah, and Santana and I have the auditorium so back off," Puck throws in.

I find Britt and ask her, "Will you come with us? I really want to talk to both of you."

She nods, then looks beyond me and says, "Hey Rachel."

I turn around and there she is. I immediately wrap my arms around her and whisper, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

"That was amazing," I say holding her at arms length.

"I don't think I've ever been that angry before!"

"It was hot."

"Looking past my fear for your life and aside from the fact that you were on top of a gross boy, your attack on Finn was pretty hot as well."

I can hear Brittany laughing behind me. I can also hear Finn mumbling as he walks by us, "What did you say?!"

"I said this is bull shit!" He yells in my face.

SMACK! Rachel's hand slams across Finn's face.

"Do you hear what she's saying now?" Puck yells.

"You should probably leave, Finn," Artie says from Brittany's side. Somehow we've managed to gain the support of at least 75% of the Glee Club.

"Fuck this!" Finn yells and storms out of the choir room before anyone else's hand can connect with his face.

"Jeez, Lopez. Did you ever think about trying out for football. You took him down like it was nothing!" Puck asks still a little revved up. I just laugh along with everyone else.

"Hey, where's Mr. Schue?" Mercedes asks everyone.

"He's probably getting his mack on with Miss Pillsbury." Oh, I'm an idiot. Instant regret, "I didn't say that! Fuck." Oh, I really hope Rachel lets this go.

"I think you and Noah need to rehearse," Rachel says.

"Yup, let's go Puckerman. Come on Britt!"

~:~:~

With Brittany's help, Puck and I mapped out everything that we're going to do during our song in a half an hour. We already have the song down, harmonies and everything, all we really need now is to rehearse with the Jazz Band. Puck said Paul McCartney, Jr. was really excited about the arrangement, so it should sound really great.

I told them about everything that happened this morning. Everything. I told them about how my mother caught me topless and saw Rachel's underwear on the floor. Yeah, I basically told Puck that Rachel and I had sex last night, but he didn't even flinch; he was way too involved in the story. I told them about how she told me that I wasn't her daughter and she called Rachel filth.

"I can't believe Rachel forgot to lock the door!" Puck semi-shouts, "That'll be the last time she makes that mistake."

"Please tell me you didn't blame her," Brittany adds quickly.

"I didn't really have time to."

"Huh?" Brittany and Puck question in unison.

I was really hoping I could spare them this. Well, actually I guess I was hoping I could spare myself. I'm still having a hard time not associating panic attacks with insanity. "When my mother left, I kind of had a panic attack. At least that's what Rachel said it was."

"You've never..." Brittany trails off.

"Had one before?" Brittany nods. "I know. I'd like to never have one again. It felt like my chest was caving in and exploding at the same time. I was lost in my own brain, until Rachel pulled me out."

Puck has been fuming this entire time, "This is fucked up! You know I'd really like to find out who felt like it was a great idea to tell your mother about you, so that they can be sorry and in pain."

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't go to the hospital hunting for rats, but my Dad thinks that one of the ER nurses told her," I laugh remembering what he said, "He said that they're all nosy bitches who can't keep their mouths shut."

"You're dad's pretty much the man." Puck says.

"I know. He was really great when he called me. After we hung up Rachel told me that she thinks she loves him as much as she loves me."

"Wait! She told you she loves you back?!" Brittany asks excitedly.

"Mhm," I hum through a smile.

"Kickass," Puck says in true Puck fashion.

"Hey, isn't today your one month?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah, I had this whole night planned out but then all this shit happened and I can't do any of it. And she's been so great today. I feel like shit."

"This date is happening!" Puck says.

"What?"

"We're totally going to help you set up the perfect date," Brittany adds.

"Seriously?"

"Uh, yeah! I'm your Bro and she's your best friend! This is exactly what we're for," Puck says all cool and Brittany nods along.

"You guys are the best," I say fighting back tears. Stop being lame. Don't cry.

"We know," Brittany says pulling us all into a hug.

Without leaving the hug Puck asks, "So, what's the plan?"


	8. Babs

Tuesday, May 3rd (cont... again)

The first thing we did was go to the library to print out a recipe. I had already picked one out, but I was sending Puck and Britt to get the ingredients and I didn't want to take any chances. I'd ask how difficult could it be to find some tofu and vegetables, but this is Puck and Brittany that I sent on this mission. I told them to call me if they had any problems. So far, since they dropped me off at Rachel's to get my car, they've only called to ask me what edamame is.

I sent Kurt a text asking him to stall Rachel for a bit and to not have it involve food and that it can involve the mall just don't go near Build-A-Bear. He was really excited to assist me in Operation Surprise Anniversary Date. Lots of exclamation points were involved. I sent Rachel a text telling her that Puck and I were going to be a while because we haven't rehearsed much. She was a little upset but that will just make her even happier later.

Clearly there's a reason why Kurt needed to keep her away from Build-A-Bear. I made her a Diva Penguin. I also named it Babs. I know, how adorable.

You know what isn't easy? Buying gifts for your same-sex significant other in Lima, Ohio. People are so fucking nosy. They ask who you're buying it for and why? Build-A-Bear was easy: I just said I was buying a birthday present for friend. Although, I'm pretty sure the bitch at the check-out counter read the little note I left on the birth certificate. The worst was the florist, though. I only wanted one red rose. Just one with some leaves and those little white things; I think they're called something stupid like baby's breath. The exchange with the florist bitch went something like this:

"You know, red roses signify love?" she said.

"I know. They also mean congratulations." Yeah, I know, look at me and my knowledge.

"But you're only buying one and that means 'I love you,'" she says all matter of fact. A) That actually wasn't my original intention; I got one for our one month and I'll continue upwards, B) Thanks for the new knowledge, and C) What the fuck do you care, bitch?

"I'd really just like to buy the rose," I said clearly getting annoyed.

"Is it for your boyfriend?" What? Okay, what girl in Lima would, in their right mind, buy a rose for their boyfriend? Unless he's gay and using her as his beard? "Because I can make it look a little more 'manly.'"

"You don't have to do that. Just make it look... I don't know... normal." The amount of frustrated I was by this point is immeasurable and I was just waiting for her to say something else.

"So, for like, a girl?" This was the last straw. She said it like she was suddenly grossed out. Fucking bigoted bitch.

"Yes, for a girl! My girl_friend_, actually!" I've got nothing to lose now, right? "And if you don't make it look nice I'll make you wish you did!" Clearly, I won't be going back to this florist next month. After that she got all apologetic and made up the rose. I think she charged me too much for it, though. By then I didn't give a shit, I just wanted out because I had a vegan dish to make with a mystery non-meat.

~:~:~

Puck and Britt actually beat me to Britt's house. I figured if I cooked this at Britt's house, Rachel and Kurt could at least go back to Rachel's. I've made a tofu stir fry. It actually looks really good. It tastes even better. I. Am. Awesome.

"This smells awesome!" Puck says, Wii remote dangling from his wrist.

"Want to try it? I made way more than enough," I ask sensing hesitation.

"Tofu?"

"It basically absorbs everything around it like a sponge and then that's what it tastes like." Okay, so maybe this isn't such a mystery. I did my research.

He shrugs and walks over to the stove to join me. I open up the utensils drawer and pull out a couple forks, I'm sure Britt will want to try it, too.

"Hey Britt, come try my stir fry!" I yell to the living room.

"Tired of getting your ass handed to you?" Brittany says walking into the kitchen.

"I don't know how Brittany convinced me to play Just Dance," Puck says to me as Brittany walks over to us.

"Because making her disappointed makes you feel like you've just turned into Sue."

"Oh my god! You're right! That's awful!" Puck says with a disgusted face.

"No one wants to be a Sue Sylvester," Britt offers when she gets to the stove.

We all laugh at Britt's true statement and I'm pretty sure we just created an inside joke.

"So what is this concoction that I'm trying?" Brittany asks. Puck looks a little surprised by this question. I'm thinking he wasn't expecting the word "concoction" to come out of Brittany's mouth.

"Britt's a lot smarter than she lets on at school," I say and Puck accepts. "It's stir fry. It's kind of like my fajitas only without the wrap and it's Asian," I say handing them both forks.

"It smells good," Brittany says looking into the frying pan.

"I hope the taste matches," Puck says still a little weary.

"It does, just dig in! I already put the stuff that I'm taking into containers so this is what's left. If you like it, it's all yours."

They give each other matching looks of trepidation, shrug it off and then send their forks into my masterpiece.

"You're a genius!" Puck exclaims through his still full mouth.

"I wouldn't go that far, it's not my recipe, but thanks."

After Brittany swallows her mouthful she says, "If Rachel doesn't love this, there is seriously something wrong with her."

"Yeah, you're definitely getting some tonight, bro." I think somehow Puck has forgotten that I'm not a dude. I think I like it better that way, though. No threesome suggestions.

"You're a perv, Puck," Brittany pipes in.

Puck scoffs at her and when she directs her attention back to the pan, I mouth to him, "I know."

He mouths back with a head nod, "Yeah."

I can't help but laugh. "Um... I need you guys to do one more thing for me?"

"What's up?" Puck asks.

"Can you guys set all of this up for me? And then guard it?"

"Yeah, of course... where is this date happening that you need the stuff to be guarded though?" Puck questions.

"The playground at the elementary school on the bridge between the slide and the monkey bars."

"Your taking her to your special spot?" Brittany asks. I can't tell if she's excited or disappointed. She's the only other person that knows about it and why I go there. Well, now Puck knows sort of.

"Yeah, I really want to share it with her."

"That's really great, San," she says genuinely.

"Okay, I'm gonna put the rest of this stuff in containers so that you can have dinner while you guard the stuff. I really don't want any Lima hooligans fucking this up."

"They won't," Puck says mashing his fist into his palm.

"Thanks," I say, turning around to split the rest of the stir fry between two containers for them. Once I finish with that, I go into the fridge and grab the rose. "Okay, so it's the two tin foil wrapped containers, the penguin in the box on the table, and this," I say lifting the rose a little.

"It's pretty," Brittany says. She turns to Puck, "Come on, let's go! We have a date to set up!"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Puck says grabbing the rose and Build-A-Bear box.

I give them both hugs and send them on their way. Alright now we're on to part three of Operation Surprise Anniversary Date: The Date. I'm going to text Kurt really quick.

**To Kurt:  
><strong>Hey! Thx for helping me out. Everything is all set. I'm gonna call her in like 2 mins to tell her I'm coming.

**From Kurt:  
><strong>OOOOO! I'm so freakin excited! Good luck, hun! :D

I told you: lots of exclamation points. Okay, the next step is to call Rach:

"Oh, hey, here's my missing girlfriend." Yikes.

"Hey, Babe!"

"So, how's your number for Glee Club? I'm sure it's perfect by now." It's been two and half hours since I sent her that text.

"It is." Here comes something random, "Hey, Rach, what are you wearing?"

"Ummm... the same thing I wore to Glee."

Hmmm... so a skirt, "Could you possibly change into pants?"

"Why?"

"Please. I'll be at your house to pick you up in 10 minutes. I love you!"

"I love you, too..."

"See ya, Babe!"

"See, ya."

~:~:~

"Uhhh... why are you pulling into the Elementary School's parking lot?"

"Just bear with me for a few minutes, okay babe?"

With her arms crossed, Rachel rolls her eyes and says, "Fine."

"I promise you won't regret it," I say sweetly.

"Hey, is that Noah's truck?"

"Umm... yeah, he and Britt helped me out with this."

"With what?"

"You'll see," I say as I pull into a parking space. "Wait right there," I say and get out of the car. I send Puck and Brittany a thumbs up and Puck pulls out of his parking space and leaves the lot. I walk around the back of my car, open Rachel's door and extend my hand to her. She takes it and gets out of the car.

"That was sweet," she says and kisses my cheek.

"Close your eyes." Once she does I say, "Okay, you trust me right?" She nods, then I walk around so that I'm behind her and cover her eyes. I say to her, "We're going to walk for a little bit, okay?"

"Okay."

"Ready?"

"Uh huh."

I nudge her forward a little so that she'll start walking. Using my hands I kind of guide her head in the direction that we're going. I walk her through the opening in the fence and after a few steps on the new surface, I feel her eyebrow quirk up under my hand. I try my best to stifle the laugh rising up my chest. After about twenty more steps we're in the exact position I want to be in for her to open her eyes. I take a quick glance at the set-up and make a mental note to thank Brittany and Puck. Material gifts and/or food are probably the best way to do that. I put my head on Rachel's shoulder and while removing my hands from her eyes say, "Open your eyes."

She isn't saying anything. Oh no. She doesn't like it! What on earth made me think that having this date on a playground was a good idea? Wait, is my cheek getting wet? "Rach?"

"Mhm?" Rachel hums, sniffling.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm more than okay. I'm in love," more sniffles.

I kiss her wet cheek, take her hand and say, "Come on, I didn't do all this for us to just stare at it." Holding her hand, I lead her over to the bridge that everything is set up on.

When we get there the first thing she does is grab the Diva Penguin, "This is so cute. I love penguins! I love penguins dressed up like divas even more!"

I pick up the birth certificate that it was sitting on and say, "Read this."

She takes it out of my hands, scans it and squeaks, "BABS! San, this is so adorable and thoughtful. And... I love you, too." She kisses me and smiles.

I grab the rose off of the bridge and tuck it behind my back while Rachel stares at her penguin. "Babe, there's more," I say and bring it out from behind my back.

She looks up from the penguin and spots the rose. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds but then, "San, it's beautiful."

"It isn't as beautiful as you." That's me turning on my cheesy, romantic charm. "Okay, there's one more thing. We have to get up on this for it though," I say tapping on the bridge.

"Okay."

I grab her hand once more and pull her up the platforms to the the bridge. When we get to the containers that are just chillin' in the middle, I sit down with my legs dangling off the side.

Rachel follows suit, sitting down so that our hips and legs are touching, and says, "Now I understand why you wanted me to wear pants."

I laugh and then reach behind me for the tin foil surrounded Glad containers. "I made this for you. Hopefully it's still warm," I say handing her a container and pulling a plastic utensils wrapped in plastic out of my sweatshirt pocket.

She unwraps the tin foil, removes the lid and says, "Is this tofu?!"

"Yup!"

"It smells really good."

"Come on, taste it!"

She gives a me fake look of fear and then dives her fork into the container. With her mouth still full, she says, "Oh my god! San, this is amazing! How did you learn to cook so well?"

"Well, when my mother finished medical school and started her residency in the ER when I was thirteen, there wasn't really anyone to cook for me anymore, so I taught myself. I would make enough so there were leftovers for my parents to take to work so they wouldn't have to eat hospital food all the time. They always managed to keep the kitchen stocked with food to make anything, so I just started researching recipes. The stuff I made was really crappy at first, ask Britt, but now I guess my food is pretty good," I divulge as Rachel indulges.

"I'm sorry you had to do that."

"Oh, no way! I love cooking! I never would have learned otherwise."

She gives me a kiss on the cheek and says, "San, this is so great."

"Well now that I know what some the stuff in your fridge is, maybe I could do this for you more often?"

Through another mouth full, "Please, do not hesitate." She swallows that mouthful and says, "So, I have to ask, why are we at the elementary school playground?"

I was really hoping she'd ask me, "Well, the reasoning is a _little_ selfish. I like to come here when things get difficult. It's like... my happy place. It reminds me of a time when my biggest worry was whether or not my Dad put a pudding cup in my lunch. But then, I think about how hindsight is twenty-twenty and that maybe some day this won't seem so bad."

"I know it kind of sounds like a cliché by now, but I think it does get better."

"I hope so."

"Thank you for taking me here. Things like this are really personal and it makes me feel really special that you let me in on this."

I smile and grab my container. Man, I am good; this stuff _is_ amazing. I'm not really that hungry though, so I put the cover back on it and put the container back down. I turn to Rachel who is still eating and say, "You _are_ special."

"Hmm?" she says as she's pulling her fork away from her mouth.

"And you're amazing. This morning my insane, homophobic mother burst into my room and caught us, then you got me out of a panic attack, and then in Glee you told off Finn in my defense, even after I went all scary She-Hulk on him and blurted out that we're together in front of the whole club. And you're still sitting here with me."

"Well, I'm in love with you," she says putting down her container full of tofu heaven.

"You know, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that."

"Good, because I'm going to say it as often as I can."

"Well, just so you know, I'm in love with you, too and I'm going to remind you like every minute."

"Oh yeah?" she asks leaning forward just far enough that my lips won't reach hers.

"Yeah," I say and remove the tiny bit of air remaining between our lips. It's a "this is leading somewhere else kiss" and I'm sliding my hand up her inner thigh. I barely pull away from her and say, "You know, I'm really in the mood to remind you, right now."

Playing along Rachel says, "I think I know a place we can go."

~:~:~

I barely let Rachel close and lock the door behind us before I push her up against it and start unbuttoning her shirt. I bring my mouth to her ear and let my teeth graze it. Once her shirt is on the floor I immediately start at her bra and soon enough it's on top of her shirt. I can't seem to get her clothes off fast enough. I place my hands on her ass and pull her off of the door. On the way to the bed, Rachel manages to get both my shirt and bra off.

When we get to the bed I position her so her back is to it and signal for her sit by pushing on her chest a little with my finger. The second her butt hits the bed she starts unbuttoning my jeans. I smack her hands, shake my head and say, "Uh uh, I'm reminding you, remember?"

She takes a deep breath and nods. Since she already started, I might as well take my pants off. Besides, skinny jeans will only make what I plan on doing difficult. I put my hand on her shoulder and guide her down so she's on her back. I give her bottom lip a little nibble and then start kissing down her chest. I keep kissing her until I get to the spot in between her breasts, smiling when I think about where my mouth is headed next. Before moving there, I run my tongue up the spot that I've stopped at and look right into her eyes as I lift my face up. I smirk at her and then bring my mouth right to her nipple. I have definitely missed those sounds.

She twists my hair between my fingers and moans, "Mmm, San..." I kiss my way over to her other nipple, lick a circle around it and then suck it between my lips.

I could probably do this all night, but Rachel's trying to push my head down. "Uh, uh, uh! Do I have to make a no hands rule?"

"No," she whimpers as I roll her nipples between my fingers.

"Okay then," I say and then start kissing my way to her hips. "Well, these are going to have to come off, aren't they?" I say as I begin taking off her jeans. She lets out a small gasp as air meets her bare flesh. I can already see how wet she is.

I squat down, spread her legs and get on my knees between them. I kiss, lick, suck, and bite my way up her thighs, alternating between them and getting closer to her center each time I switch. When I get to it, I lick her lips just for a taste. I hear her moan from above me. I lift her legs onto my shoulders and push her a little farther onto the bed. I actually lick my lips when I see her clit. It's like it's asking for me to wrap my lips around it. Who am I turn down its request?

"Huhhh, Santana!" Rachel yells the moment my tongue swipes at her clit. I give it a few more flicks before I gently suck it in between my lips. I bring my tongue forward so that I can feel her on it. She grabs my head again and grinds her hips. I can hear that her breathing is getting shallow and her moaning is getting less frequent. Already? Well, not yet.

She lets out a giant sigh when I detach my lips from her. She lets go of my head and says breathlessly, "San, come on!" I don't respond; all I do is lift her legs up and spread them further apart. "What are you doingoh my god!" I licked around her opening. "Oh fuck! Don't stop!" I've plunged my tongue into her. I thrust slowly at first, flicking my tongue in and out; that is until I hear her moan out, "More." I enlist my entire head in the effort. I can't get enough of her taste. It gets better and better the deeper my tongue goes. My tongue isn't even getting tired, the sounds she's making are just too motivational.

"Ah, Santana... Fuck me!"

Gladly. I stop moving my head, dip my tongue into her a couple more times and lick my way back up to her clit. I bring my fingers up and tease her entrance a little before inserting them. My tongue is greedily licking her clit and I've already curled up my fingers. Thank god her room is sound proofed because she's pretty much screaming... well, now she isn't. Her orgasm has created a brief death grip around my fingers. Once it releases, I thrust into her a few more times, watching her shudder each time I re-find her spot. Slowly, I pull out of her and lick her from her opening to her clit.

I stand up and take in the sight before me: with the exception of letting her legs fall, Rachel isn't moving. Her eyes are open and she's looking right at me. I'll take this opportunity to suck my fingers clean. She manages to prop herself up on her elbows and say through her still heavy breathing, "Just... give me... a second and... it's your-"

I crawled up to her while she was saying that and put my finger on her mouth when she said "your." I kiss her and say, "No me tonight, okay Babe. Just you."

"Are you sure?"

"You should really stop asking that."

"But I didn't- oh," she laughs a little, "I get it. But really?"

"Babe, all I want is for you to be my extra blanket," I kiss her again and say, "Happy Anniversary."

"I love you so much," she says and pulls me into a kiss.

"I love you, beautiful. Could we go to sleep now? Today was a long day."

"Of course we can, my love."

I really do love the way that sounds.


	9. The Calm After the Storm?

Friday, May 6th

Nothing has happened! The last two days have been almost completely uneventful. Is there such a thing as the calm after the storm? I mean, all of that shit happened on Tuesday and then... nothing.

I said almost, right? Well that's because I few things _have_ happened. Puck and I performed our song and we were KICKASS! Despite the fact that it technically wasn't a competition, we totally won. Well, that is until Brittany and Tina perform today and blow all of us out of the water.

I've talked to my Dad a few times. Yeah, I said a _few_ times! Not once, not twice, not even three times, but FIVE! Yup, count 'em: he called me twice Wednesday, twice yesterday AND he stopped by Rachel's house yesterday! So, all of the Dads have met. It was really funny, like funny, awkward funny, though. My Dad was nervous. I think I've seen him nervous once in my whole life: it was the one football game he came to, to see me cheer. It was one of Sue's insane routines and it was pre- "Boobs McGee gets the bottom of the pyramid." I spotted him in the audience just before I was thrown an absurd amount of feet in the air. He was wringing his hands a lot. He was doing it when he met Rachel's dads.

He wants me to come to the hospital today to see him. The last time I went to the hospital was when I broke my wrist in the fourth grade. I hate the hospital. There's too much sickness and pain in one place and I despise the way it smells.

My mother is also there.

I'm hoping this hasn't actually been the calm _between_ the storms.

~:~:~

Yippy! A pop quiz in history!

Psssht. As if.

Let's see: A, C, D, A, B, B, D, C, A, and D. And the bonus question: Approximately 20 million people.

First one done and there are still fifty minutes left. So much time to nap! Okay phone in position, head down, and eyes closed.

Ugh! Who is texting me? _Everyone_ knows fifth period is Santana's nap time!

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Put your phone back, but only if you can be quiet.

Oh please I can be-

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>You've thanked my sound-proofed walls a few times now.

Not fair. And is she like in my brain right now?

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>So am I exploiting my unlimited text messaging or should I pay attention to Mr. Shuester?

Well, now I feel like I've been challenged.

_Exploit away._

I find this endeavor one part gross and two parts intriguing. Looks like intriguing wins. Besides I don't even think this is going to wor- OH. Shit... I... ummm... need to get... aaah... my head back down. Fuck! Ow! I am biting my lip! How is she te-hexting so... fast?! Oh. My. God. I... I... fuck, Rachel!

Despite it not touching anything, I will be purchasing a new silicon case for this.

_Another reason to be grateful for McKinley's excellent reception._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>It worked?!

_Yes. You know, there are still 20 mins left..._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Unlike my girlfriend with lightening fast reading skills, I can't nap through my classes and maintain an above WMHS-average GPA. I also sit in the front row.

But you have no problem devoting all of your attention to non-stop texting me to long distance orgasm? And of course you do.

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Besides, I need to keep up with my Spanish ;)

_Well, looks like I'll have to use my fingers a different way later ;)_

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Shameless.

_From the girl that just sent me like 50 texts to get me off?_

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>I love you.

Way to change the subject. I love seeing those words as much as I love hearing them.

_I love you, too. Can't wait to see you in 5 mins._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>That isn't soon enough.

I know.

~:~:~

Yup, just what I thought. Brittany and Tina win. Not even fair. Remember that heavy bass I heard in the hallway when I was looking for Britt? Turns out they changed their song. Or they were working on something else entirely. Right now I'm witnessing the most fantastic performance of _Mickey_ I have ever seen. I mean, not that I've ever seen a performance of _Mickey_, or anything. This is quite possibly the most entertaining thing to happen in this classroom... okay, maybe I'm stretching the truth... a lot. Come on! That's my best friend up there! I'm biased, sue me.

I might also be riding on a wave of happiness from something else, like Rachel holding my hand in the midst of the rest of the Glee Club. And not a fuck was given. Well, not a fuck that mattered, anyways. Every once in a while I can feel Finn's glare on us. Every once in a while I threaten him with my own. Rachel and I only let go of each other to give Britt and Tina a much deserved standing ovation.

"That was excellent, ladies! By the response your peers had I think it's safe to say that everyone agrees," Mr. Schue gleams, "Okay, who's ready for more dance lessons?!"

The entire room erupts in protest. Mostly variations of "but it's Friday" can be heard. I yell out, "Come on Mr. Schue, you've tortured us all... week."

Have you ever been caught in a moment when you're talking in a crowd, then all of a sudden it's quiet and you're the only one left talking? That just happened to me at "tortured." Luckily, this wasn't one of those times when that situation is embarrassing.

"Okay, I guess Santana's right, four out of five days is enough and yes, it is Friday. Have a great weekend guys! See you all Monday!"

This time there's a volcano of cheers and thank you's spewing out of all of us. My joy is suddenly marred, however, by the doom that's possibly in my future and I realize that it's closer now that dance lessons have been cancelled. I still have a car ride with Rachel, though. At least I have that guaranteed ten to twenty minutes of happiness. But, let's see how long I can drag this out.

"Ready to go?" Rachel asks, bursting my thought bubble.

"Um... yeah. No, actually, let me congratulate Britt first."

"Okay, love."

I give her a smile that I hope shows her how much I love her and turn to find Brittany. She's sitting on Artie's lap talking with him and the Lovers from the East... was that racist? Whatever.

"Hey guys," I say to everyone.

There's a mixture of "Hey"s and "Santana" uttered and then Tina says, "Hey, thanks for rescuing us from another torturous half an hour."

"My pleasure. You and Britt were really great, by the way."

"Thanks, Santana," Tina says.

"Umm... Britt can we talk for a second?"

"Yeah sure," she kisses Wheels and hops off of his lap. "What's up?" she asks after we get far enough away.

"You still haven't told me how I get to thank you for helping me on Tuesday. Material or edible gifts?"

"Can't I just have San time?"

I roll my eyes playfully and say, "I think that can be arranged. I'll call you tomorrow morning."

She hops a little and claps her hands, then pulls me into one of her bear hugs, "Yay!"

"Okay breathing is getting difficult," I squeeze out of my vocal chords.

She releases her grip on me and says, "I think Rachel's getting a smidge impatient."

I turn around to look at Rachel and I see that she's standing with her arms crossed over her chest, her weight shifted to her right leg, and she's tapping her foot. I also notice that she's glaring at Finn, who is talking to a very indifferent looking Quinn. Let's find out what this is about, shall we? "So, what are you so pissed at?" I ask when I get to her.

"Finn," she huffs out, "Just look at him. He has no regard for how other people feel. Quinn, bless her, is just sitting there letting him ramble on and on about something ridiculously stupid, I'm sure. He doesn't even notice how much she doesn't care. I can't believe I ever let myself fall for that!"

"We all make mistakes, babe. I mean, look at me. I've made enough for my next three reincarnations. You know, if they're a real thing."

She laughs away her anger and says, "Let's go home, I don't want to be in the same building as him anymore."

Well, that was a good extra fifteen minutes, "Yeah, sure."

"Hey, you're visiting your dad this afternoon aren't you? I can't believe I forgot," she says as we walk out of the choir room.

"Yeah, I'm kind of dreading this visit to the hospital."

"San, the hospital is pretty big I think the chances of seeing your Mom are quite slim," Rachel tries assuring me as we stride through the parking lot. I didn't even have to tell her that that's what I was thinking about.

"I just have a bad feeling about it. I can't explain it."

"Okay, sweetheart," she says over my car and a look of surprise appears on her face. Sheepishly, she dips her head down and opens the door.

"That was new," I say as we both slide into the car.

"I know, it just kind of slid out of my mouth," she pauses for a moment and with a little more confidence, "You are though."

"Most people wouldn't say that about me," I say slightly ashamed.

"Well, clearly, I'm not 'most people.'"

"No, you certainly aren't," I say in my breathless, "I'm in love" voice that she brings out of me. Our lips meet and the fluttering that was already present in my stomach grows a little bigger. She pulls away slightly only to bring her lips to my nose. I instantly smile causing the cartilage to shift and Rachel to giggle at its movement under her lips.

I finally turn the key that has been sitting in the ignition for five minutes already and pull straight through the space in front of me. I look at the clock and realize that a half an hour has passed since Mr. Schue dismissed us. It takes about ten minutes to get to Rachel's house from the school. Actually, everything in Lima is about ten minutes from where you're already located.

I'm only dropping Rachel off at her house. She's completely aware of this, but when I pull into her driveway she doesn't move. I shift in my seat a little to face her and she says quickly, "I could go with you, you know. If you really think something is going to happen, I could be there with you."

While I really appreciate this offer and love how much she wants to be there for me, I can't let her come with me. There isn't a snowball's chance in Hell that I'm letting her go through the "Dr. Marisol Lopez Experience" again. "I think I have to do this alone, Rach. Thank you, though. I really, _really_ appreciate it."

"Okay, San. I'll be here for you when get back."

"I know you will."

She catches my face between her hands and pulls me into her lips. It isn't long before her tongue is sliding across my bottom lip. I keep my lips together, forcing her to try a different method. She licks across my top lip and I laugh a little, keeping my lips puckered together. Next, she surrounds my bottom lip with both of hers forcing me slightly part my lips. It isn't enough though and she knows it. "Hmmm," she hums onto my lip, the vibration of the sound making my closed eyelids flutter. Out of nowhere she grabs my tit causing my mouth to open out of both shock and pleasure. She gives a brief victory chuckle before slipping her tongue past my lips. I let her roam free through my mouth, sending my tongue to meet hers only every so often. I'm not doing this because I feel like being lazy, but because I actually like it when she's in control. I feel like I'm hers and not in a pathetic way.

Rachel brings her exploration to a close by leaving a perfectly drawn out kiss on my lips. Her taste lingers in my mouth as I my heart attempts to find its regular pace. My eyes don't seem to want to open. I hear Rachel say in a breathy tone, "I liked that."

Slowly I re-open my eyes and ask in a similar tone to hers, "Doing whatever you want to me?"

"Yes," she says in a voice I don't think I've heard before. I can't even respond. All I can think about is what she's implying with this. I'm completely blinded by the thought of her completely having her way with me. I'm brought back to earth by her voice, "Tonight, you're mine."

Yes. I am.

~:~:~

My Dad told me to meet him in the conference room on the fourth floor, giving me directions in his response to my "I'm here" text. I decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator simply because I'm in the hospital and I feel obligated to make healthier decisions. I get to the fourth floor much sooner than I want to and proceed on my hunt for this conference room. The directions he gave me are from the elevator so I have to find that first. Of course it's around the first corner I turn. Okay, so left then the second right. Hmmm... one right and two. Now walk all the way down the hallway, last door on the left. Thank god this is a long hallway with lots of doors to peer nosily into. I make it a point to look into every window in every door. Eventually, the doors disappear on my left and I only assume this is where the conference room is. And there's the door. I have no idea what's waiting behind it. When I actually get to it, I see that the window is frosted. It's the only door in the hallway with a frosted window. Not fair. I don't want to just walk in, knocking will delay the time more. I bring my hand up in a fist ready to rap my knuckles on the door, but stop. What if she's in there? What if I've been right this whole time? I can't just stand in this hallway, though. I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the time and for text messages. It's 4:06 and I have zero text messages. Finally, I bring my knuckles down on the wooden door in front of me. I listen to it echo through the empty hallway and then feel the whoosh of air as the door opens in front of me.

"Hola, mija!"

"Hola, Papá," I say through a sad smile.

"Come in."

I really have no choice. I take half a step into the room and see her in my peripheral as soon as my head passes the door frame. I bring my hands together, rubbing them hard against each other, cracking a knuckle here and there, doing everything I can to stop them from shaking. I feel like things are happening in slow motion as I follow my father to the other side of the table where he says to me, "Siéntete, por favor." I do as I'm told and watch him walk to the end of the table.

I've never hated being right more than I do right now.

It takes all of my strength to look across the table at my mother. I've felt her steaming glare on me since the moment I walked in the door. It's worse than I thought it was. She isn't even staring at me, she's staring through me, like I don't exist.

I need to remind myself to breathe.

My father clears his throat and says, "Quiero que nuestra hija volver a casa."

I really don't see what difference it makes, neither of them are ever home.

"No tengo una hija, más," my mother says in a familiar emotionless tone.

"Cómo puedes decir eso. Marisol, ella está aquí," my father says in an unfamiliar elevated tone.

Raising the volume my mother says, "¡_Mi_ hija no es una manflora sucia!"

Even louder my father says, "¡No la llame eso!"

He's always been my hero.

"No la quiero en mi casa y nunca definitivamente ver a esa puta pecadora que estaba allí con esta chica el otro día!" she yells.

Up until this point I've been sitting here just taking the blows, but I can't stand for this. "Cierra la boca!" I scream and pound my fists on the table, standing up in the process. My mother freezes with shock. I begin speaking in a forceful, but calm tone, "Don't you dare talk about her like that. Her name is Rachel and she's a _person_ and you know _nothing_ about her. You don't know anything. You blindly hate something you know nothing about, simply because some foolish book tells you that it's a sin. Your daughter is gay, Marisol and she's choosing the girl she loves over you, so disown her all you want. No importa."

The last two words I spit out like venom and I watch her shock turn into fury. I don't have time to move out of the way of the hand swinging at my face. I didn't even hear the sound the back of her hand made on my skin, I'm simply aware of the pain stinging the entire left side of my face... and the building tension in my chest. I feel hands on my shoulders and I look up to see my father with a tear falling down his cheek. I see his mouth form the words "lo siento" to me. Then his head whips in the direction of my mother who's standing there with a look telling me that I got what I deserved. His hands leave my shoulders and I watch as he makes his way over to my mother.

My breathing is getting uncontrollable and I'm sensing the beyond extreme hiccups coming on. I feel for the chair that I abandoned not even two minutes prior and sit. I look up to see my parents screaming and waving their arms at each other. I can't hear them.

I cover my face and try to settle my thoughts, but I can't. I don't know how to get out of this. Rachel would know. If she were here she'd bring me back and everything would okay. She wanted to be here, to protect me. I wish I was with her right now and not here. I could be, I just need to get out of my current state and this hospital and I could be at her house.

Suddenly, as if I'd just re-pressed the mute button, I can hear my parents screaming at each other. I'm breathing normal and with the exception of a little left over pain in my chest I feel like myself. "¡DEJAN!" I scream at them. Surprisingly, they do and I say to my father, "She's never going to understand, Papá. It's okay," I turn to her, "I don't need her." I start to walk towards the door and I see the pain in my father's eyes. I stop for a moment and say "I'm sorry, Papá, I know you wanted this to work. I need to go."

I walk through the door and take a right. I follow the long hallway and take a left when I get to its end. I pass the elevator and find the stairs. I walk down the four flights at a normal pace and continue through the main lobby, out the doors, to the parking lot. I pull my key out of my pocket and my 2010 Honda Accord calls out to me when I press the lock button. I pull my phone out of my other pocket to check the time.

4:37PM.

That was the longest thirty-one minutes of my life.

I press the unlock button with a few steps to spare before I get to my car and open the door the instant I get to it, phone still in hand. I sit down, close the door and press the send button twice.

"Hey, beautiful."

I feel better already.

~:~:~

**Quiero que nuestra hija volver a casa** = I want our daughter to come home  
><strong>No tengo una hija, m<strong>**á****s** = I don't have a daughter anymore  
><strong>C<strong>**ó****mo puedes decir eso. Marisol, ella est****á ****aqu****í** = How can you say that? Marisol, she's right here.  
><strong>Mi hija no es una manflora sucia!<strong> = My daughter isn't a dirty dyke.  
><strong>No la llame eso!<strong> = Do not call her that  
><strong>No la quiero en mi casa y nunca definitivamente ver a esa puta pecadora que estaba all<strong>**í ****con esta chica el otro d****í****a!** = I don't want her in my house and I definitely never want to see that sinful bitch that was with this girl the other day.  
><strong>Cierra la boca <strong>= Shut your mouth  
><strong>No importa<strong> = It doesn't matter  
><strong>Lo siento<strong> = I'm sorry  
><strong>Dejan<strong> (pronounced day-han) = Stop


	10. Under the Vanity Lights

Friday, May 6th (cont.)

I didn't realize that my face was bleeding until I took the phone away from my ear. I went to press the end button and saw the blood on the back of my fingers. I'm not sure how I didn't: A) Feel the pain of my fingers on the cut or B) Feel the blood getting on my fingers. There was also blood on my right hand. Probably from when I brought my hand to my face after Marisol threw her hand at me. I looked into the rearview mirror to see the damage she caused me. It's swollen and there are small bruises forming where her knuckles met with my skin. The worst part is clearly the gash going from my cheek bone to my jaw. At least that's what it looks like, my fingers smudged the blood so much I can barely tell. She's left handed like I am, so this has to be from her wedding rings. If diamonds can cut glass, imagine what they've done to my face. It was a proverbial _second_ slap in the face. I'm really glad that I helped my father pick that out for her for their Fifteenth Anniversary.

Great, now I could possibly have a physical scar to go along with this emotional one.

How is it that I managed to walk through an entire hospital without anyone telling me that my face was bleeding?! My father didn't even say anything. It isn't even like it's this tiny cut. There's a dark red, jagged line cutting down from the bottom of my cheek bone to my jaw.

I didn't even have anything to wipe some of the blood off.

I could only imagine how Rachel was going to react.

~:~:~

I walk up to Rachel's front door and check around me before I bend down to grab the key from under the "Berry" welcome mat. I know she's probably sitting on the stairs waiting for me. I brace myself before I slide the key into its designated place.

Okay: key in, turn and push.

I keep my eyes plastered on the floor as I walk into the Berry residence. To my left I hear Rachel's tiny gasp. I look up to see that I was right: she's been waiting for me on the stairs. I follow her eyes as she stands up and walks down the three stairs to the floor. "Come on," she swallows hard, "we should clean that up."

I nod and grab her hand before she can start walking toward the bathroom. She squeezes my hand then brings it to her lips. I feel a tear hit my knuckle then I feel her wipe it away with her thumb. She turns away and without letting go of my hand, starts walking. I follow her.

I catch another glimpse of my face when I pass the mirror in the bathroom. It looks even worse under the vanity lights. Rachel doesn't let me stop at the mirror and leads me to sit on the closed toilet seat. I sit down automatically. She turns to me and says, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," I say as I bring my knees up to my chin and hug my shins. I'm glad she isn't asking me what happened. She knows I'll tell her.

Rachel comes back into the bathroom with a roll of paper towels from the kitchen. She opens up the medicine cabinet and stares into it for a few seconds. Eventually she reaches into it and pulls her hand back with a can of saline solution. She tears off a piece of paper towel and sprays the solution on it. "I'm sorry if this stings," she says lifting my chin.

"I've experienced worse, I'm sure," I say through an actual smile.

The solution is cool on my still burning cheek. I wince when she bares down a little too hard on what I assume is a bruise. "I'm sorry," she says pulling the paper towel away, "I didn't see that. Why is this all over your cheek?"

I show her my hands and say, "I didn't realize she was wearing her rings, so I didn't know it was there."

"Jesus Christ-"

"You're Jewish, it doesn't have the same affect," I joke. It's genuine. If that makes sense.

Rachel allows a smile and the hint of a laugh to appear and goes back to cleaning. After a few more swipes at the area around the cut she throws the blood-dyed paper towel in the trash can and preps another. She inhales and then starts at it. She begins at my jawline and works her way up. It hurts. It doesn't help that it's been a good twenty minutes since the bleeding actually stopped and it's been drying ever since. It doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it might though.

When she's done a smile shows up on her face. "What?" I ask, clueless to her sudden happiness.

"Look," she says gesturing to the mirror.

I drop my feet to the floor, stand up and walk around the vanity. My face mimics Rachel's when I see that the cut is less than half the length I thought it was and not nearly as wide. Maybe I won't have two different scars after all. It sure bled a lot for a little cut, though. Hmm... whatever.

"So, do you think you can deal with a Band-Aid on your face for a little bit?"

"I think so. It's Friday night and the only other people I'm going to see for the next two days are you, your dads, and Brittany... and her family... probably. I'll be kickin' it old school to the days of Nelly."

"When are you seeing Brittany?" she asks, my joke flying right over her head, and then says, "Sit back down, I'll find the Band-Aids."

"Tomorrow. I promised her a gift for helping me out with our anniversary date and she wanted Santana and Brittany time. And she's one of two people in this world that I can't say no to."

"Who's the other person?" she asks, already knowing what I'm going to say.

"You might know her."

"_Her_, huh?"

"Yup, and I'm madly in love with her. So much so that I chose her over my family."

A few things fall out of the medicine cabinet, including the Band-Aids and she turns her head to me saying, "You what?" She looks stunned and a little scared. I'm not sure I get the scared part.

"She's never going to accept it Rachel and I'm... okay with it. I think I've been okay with it all along. If she hadn't been told by someone else, I probably never would have told her. It would have been pointless because she would have just reacted the same way."

"So, you're... okay?" she asks, looking adorably puzzled.

I think about that for a moment and then say to her, "Yeah, I am," because I am okay with it. I think. I might be wearing a partial brave face. I don't really have a choice in the matter. I meant everything that I said back at the hospital, though. "She insulted you again and I defended you. You know, she can say whatever she wants about me, but she doesn't even know you. You're such a beautiful person and she'll never know that because she can't see past her hate. I don't need that. _We_ don't need that."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I haven't thought about that yet."

Rachel leans her butt into the vanity and puts her thinking cap on. Her eyes go wide and I know she's come up with something, "I think my Dads might actually be okay with you staying here. We'll have to propose that you live in the guest room, though," I give her a confused eyebrow quirk, "Despite the fact that they probably still think I have my virginity, I don't think that they would be too keen on their daughter sleeping in the same room as her significant other every night." I begin to raise my finger in protest but she cuts me off, "Even if her significant other is a girl and the chance of something like, say, a teen pregnancy is literally impossible."

"Okay, I guess you're right." Then I come up with an idea, "They wouldn't have to spend any extra money either. I'm sure I can get my Dad to give me a little extra money to give your dads for food and stuff."

Even if it is the guest room, it isn't in my house. Besides, I'm sure I can sneak into Rachel's room every now and then. Which is roughly translated to every night. And how many seventeen year-olds can say they live with their girlfriend?

"Okay. I'll ask them when they get home on Sunday."

"Wait, where did they go? And why are they always leaving?" I ask, voicing something that has puzzled me for quite some time now.

"They went to Chicago to visit some friends from college and I'm old enough to take care of myself for a couple of days. Besides, my dads are _always_ here. The last time they weren't was a little over a month ago." She turns her body and bends down so our faces are level, "You were here, remember?"

"How could I forget?" I say and quickly bring our lips together. I smile at the feeling of her lips on mine but am soon reminded of the cut on my cheek. "Ow... how about that Band-Aid?"

"And some Neosporin with pain relief?"

"Perfect. Then can we get out of the bathroom? It isn't conducive to cuddling."

"That is a wonderful idea," she says as she places the Band-Aid on my cheek then kisses it.

"It feels better already."

~:~:~

About three weeks ago Rachel's dads blessed her with a checking account and about a week and a half ago she got her debit card in the mail. Then she found the internet, well, she found the "add to shopping cart" button on the internet. She also found the Gay & Lesbian section on . Season one of _The L Word_ showed up while I was gone this afternoon.

Okay, I'm going to admit that I have watched _a lot_ of porn. Like, a lot. More than a seventeen year-old girl probably should see. I will also admit that most of it has been straight porn. I mean I have watched lesbian porn, but it isn't _really_ lesbian; it's geared towards men and you can tell, making it a turn off. Really the only good _actual_ lesbian porn that exists, you have to pay for and who pays for porn? So I've settled.

We were barely half way through the first episode and I was already hornier than _any_ porn I've watched has ever made me. It didn't help that my head was on Rachel's lap. I could smell what this show was doing to her and I wanted it. I resisted my urge until half way through the second episode, when I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how the episode ended, I was too busy going down on Rachel. The initial mess between her legs might not have been caused by me, but the moans and cries were. At one point she even smacked my ass. I made it a point to tell her she could do that whenever she wanted after she came and the episode was over.

"Good," she says, "Because I distinctly remember telling you earlier that you're mine tonight. And you just went and did that." I love when she talks to me like that: fierce and sultry... and reprimanding.

"You didn't stop me."

"You're not the only one who has a problem with saying no," she says with an arched eyebrow, "But now, I'm in charge."

My eyes grow wide with excitement after she says that to me and she smirks when she sees this. "Yes, ma'am."

She turns off the TV and DVD player with the press of a button then says, "You're catching on quickly. Go upstairs. I'll be up in a second."

"Okay."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I get up from the sectional and as I do, she smacks my ass again. It's much harder than the last one and I gasp then turn to look at Rachel. She's biting her lower lip and glaring at me through lusty eyes. I'm going upstairs.

When I get up to her room, I don't know what to do with myself. I am so turned on I can't even think correctly. I'm also a little anxious, but not in a bad way. I settle on just sitting on the end of the bed, but when I hear the door open I jump up and stand awkwardly. Rachel laughs when she sees me, "Did I scare you?"

I shake my head at her and say in a shaky voice, "I'm... excited."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," I hum through my head voice.

"Well slow down a little bit. I have plans for you. And you don't have to call me ma'am, I want you to talk to me like you normally would, I like that much better."

"Whatever you want," I say through my "I love you" smile.

"I want to dance with you," she says returning the grin.

"I'd love to."

She walks over to her iPod dock and I absent-mindedly check out her ass. She presses play and a song I've never heard before plays through the speakers. It isn't fast but it isn't slow either. The song has a sexy rhythm and Rachel walks back over to me to the beat of the music, letting her hips sway with every step. She's so sexy and I'm not even paying attention to the song. She grabs my hand and pulls me into her. I put my hand on her hip and she puts her hand on my shoulder. Despite, the dominant positioning of my hands, she's leading this. I'm still not paying attention to the song. Just her. At what I assume is the chorus, she starts softly singing along:

"**You****'****re my key, you unlock me  
><strong>**Keep me close, keep me safe, keep me happy  
><strong>**So sweet, oh love  
><strong>**It****'****s destiny, so nothing stops me  
><strong>**I****'****ll tell the world that you****'****re mine and you got me  
><strong>**So sweet, oh love  
><strong>**I****'****m in love, I****'****m in love  
><strong>**I****'****m in love, I****'****m in love  
><strong>**I****'****m in love, L.O.V.E., love****"**

She stops singing along but now I'm paying attention to the lyrics.

**See love doesn****'****t choose a boy or a girl (nope)  
><strong>**When I met you, you hugged my heart and filled my world (easy)  
><strong>**So you can stare (stare), I don****'****t care (don****'****t care)  
><strong>**You****'****re the one, ain****'****t goin****' ****nowhere  
><strong>**So fuck it, I****'****ma be honest with you...**

For a second I take the lead away from her spin her under my arm. She allows me to and smiles when she returns, pressing herself even closer to me than she was before. She lets go of my hand and traces her fingers up my arm to my neck to join her other hand. I let my newly freed hand fall to her hip. We're so close to each other I'm able to clasp my hands together, but I don't, I keep them on the swell of her back. She's twirling my hair with one of her hands and creeping her fingers up the back of my head with the other. I bring my forehead down to hers and she starts singing along again:

"**My best friend that makes me laugh,  
><strong>**The puzzle pieces fits exact to my half  
><strong>**I've never felt this way - sometimes I'm stuck with what to say  
><strong>**You hold my hand when I'm driving  
><strong>**You dry my tears if I'm crying  
><strong>**And we just laugh if were fighting  
><strong>**I love you, you love me more,  
><strong>**I love you more more, you love me more  
><strong>**I love you more...****"**

Instead of belting along with the song, she stops singing and crashes our lips together. Her fingers in my hair move more deliberately on my scalp. She wastes no time seeking more access to my mouth. I give it to her. Whatever she wants. Her hands leave my head and go straight for the hem of my shirt. I lift my arms as she begins tugging it up and it's off in a swift motion. We changed into our pajamas already, so I'm not wearing a bra. I bring my hands back down and start pulling off her shirt. She smacks my hand and says, "Uh uh," into my mouth. She breaks away from me and starts shoving me towards the bed.

She's three inches shorter than me and I'm clearly stronger, but she's definitely in charge here. The back of my knees connect with the edge of the bed causing me to crash down onto my ass. A few seconds later the song we were dancing to ends and a more familiar song begins. I smile when I realize that this was planned and I love it.

"Do you trust me?" Rachel breaks into my thoughts and the song.

Of course I do, "Yes."

"Okay." Rachel turns and goes to her closet. She emerges with a black scarf that I'm positive is mine. She starts folding it into a long strip and I know exactly where it's going. She crawls onto the bed behind me and asks, "You know _this_ song, right?" I nod, "Sing for me."

As she ties the scarf over my eyes, I sing with the song:

"**Sexy love, girl the things you do  
><strong>**(Oh baby baby) Keep me sprung, keep running back to you  
><strong>**Oh I love, making love to you  
><strong>**Babygirl you know you're my (sexy love...)  
><strong>**I'm so addicted to her she's the sweetest drug  
><strong>**Just enough  
><strong>**Still too much say that I'm simp and I'm sprung all of the above  
><strong>**I can't help she makes me say (Oh oh oh)****"**

"Lie down," I feel her whisper into my ear. "Keep singing."

"**And I just can't think (of anything else I'd rather do)  
><strong>**Than to hear you sing (sing my name the way you do)  
><strong>**When we do our thing (when we do the things we do)  
><strong>**Oh, babygirl you make me say (Oh oh oh)****"**

She pulls off my pants and underwear together and I gasp at the change of temperature between my legs. The singing has stopped but she isn't telling me to start again.

I feel very vulnerable. But I still feel safe.

I feel the bed shift on my right. I can feel the heat pouring off of her body onto mine when she's next to me. She takes my arms and lifts them so they're stretched over my head. Then, I feel the air shift over me and her bare legs surround my thighs. Her own arousal is warm and then cool on me. With a hand she palms my left breast and with her mouth she sucks on my right nipple. She pulls it with her teeth and I inhale sharply with the pleasure I feel. Then she licks it and blows a breath of air over it. She kisses up my chest, up my neck, to my ear. Her body lies flush against mine. I feel her hard nipples rub against me. She kisses back down across my throat, up my neck, to my other ear then back down to my left breast. She repeats the previous process but this time letting her hand drift down my abdomen, around to my back and down to my ass. She squeezes it hard. Then out of nowhere, an orgasm erupts through me. I scream out, "Rachel!" and she stops what she's doing.

Neither one of us was expecting that, "You just...?"

"Uh huh," I let out breathlessly.

"I wasn't even touching you," she says with pleasant surprise.

"Yes you were, just not there."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

I don't even have to think about it.

"Okay," she says and I feel her get off of me and off of the bed. About thirty seconds later and after I hear a few small clinks, she says, "Take the scarf off."

I sit up and do what I'm told. She's standing in front of me completely naked, save one thing. She's wearing a strap-on. I'm pretty taken aback by this. I'm not like, scared or anything, I just wasn't prepared, "Where did you...? How did you...?"

She doesn't say anything, she just looks over to her right at the lap top on her desk and then back at me, "You trust me?"

Suddenly, I want nothing more than for her to do this. I let my want take over and say, "Come here," completely forgetting that she's the boss.

She moves towards me anyways. My brain sends the signal for my legs to spread apart before I'm even aware of it. She looks a little nervous. I'm still sitting up and I grab her hands when she gets to me. "Rachel, I really want you to do this," I say with all of my lust for her. Her demeanor completely changes and her hand leaves mine for the deep purple appendage attached to her. I bring my hand to it as well and guide it towards me. As it enters me, I let go and allow myself to fall back onto the bed.

I wince as she pushes into me because honestly, it hurts a little. I don't remember when the last time I had sex with a _guy_ was. It could be months. This actually isn't even that big. I mean compared to... I'd rather not get into that now.

Rachel senses my slight discomfort and pauses her movement for a moment. Within seconds the pain is gone and my facial expression changes back to want. Slowly, she continues her way into me. Not long after her thighs are flush against me and she begins to draw her hips back, pulling out. As she pulls back, the dildo hits my g-spot and I let out a moan that comes from deep in my throat. I don't want to ask, but I think she put it on upside down and I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she did it on purpose. If she did, it's both simple and genius.

She keeps this slow pace for several more thrusts and pulls. Every time she pulls she hits my spot and every time my reaction becomes a little stronger. I don't even have to tell her to go faster and when she picks up her pace she starts hitting it with every movement. "Rachel, it's so... good! Oh my god! Fuck!"

"Come for me, Santana," she says as she thrusts harder into me and grabs onto my hips, her thumbs pressing into the space between my thighs and where she's pumping into me.

My head is swimming and I'm thinking in English but, "¡Todo lo que quieras! ¡Ay dios mio, querida!" only Spanish is coming out of my mouth, "¡Llévame!"

Now with every thrust into me something on the strap-on is hitting my clit and she knows it, "Vienes para mí."

Her request in Spanish sends me over the edge, doing exactly what I'm asked. I've lost the ability to control my muscles or the use my brain for that matter. She's barely letting up on the trusts. I manage to get ahold of one of her wrists and squeeze it as hard as I can. I can't get anything to come out of my mouth.

She finally starts slowing down and I feel like I can use my brain again. Just as my body calms down she thrusts into me one more time, hitting both my g-spot and my clit and I'm sent flying into orgasm number three. I don't know how, but it's more intense than the last one. My breath is caught in my throat along with any sound. I feel everything in my body and nothing around it. My eyelids fall over my eyes and then, I...

~:~:~

**Translations:  
><strong>**Todo lo que quieras! **= Anything you want.  
><strong>Llévame! <strong>= Take me  
><strong>Vienes para mí <strong>= Come for me


	11. Pun Intended

Saturday, May 7th (almost... 11:43PM... close enough)

... passed out.

Like, seriously?

~:~:~

"San...? Sweetheart...? Santana...?" I hear Rachel trying everything she's ever called me.

"Yeah?" I say with my eyes closed.

"Oh my god," she gasps, grabs my face and kisses me.

I open my eyes. Rachel is sitting crossed legged next to me with merely a pair of underwear on. She's beautiful. A sight for my fuzzy state, that I'm not exactly sure why I'm in, "What happened? And why am I so groggy?"

"I think you passed out!" she says and brings her hand to her mouth.

"What?" I say with unmistakable shock.

She's biting her thumb nail. I've never seen her do this. I don't think I've ever seen her this scared. She's always got this brave face on, like she isn't afraid of anything. Which clearly isn't true, but she usually doesn't show it. I don't think she knows what to say either.

"Hey, babe, I'm awake. I'm okay. How long was I out?" I ask, gently taking the hand she has at her mouth away from it.

"A minute... I think... maybe less... I don't know... it felt like forever... I was so scared... I'm so sorry!"

Oh no. Those are tears I hear coming. No, no, no. No Rachel tears, they kill me. "Babe, don't be sorry! What could you possibly be sorry for? Making me come three times?! You didn't even touch me for the first one. No one has ever done that to me before. And, please excuse my vulgarity here, no one has ever fucked me as good as you did. I didn't even have to tell you what to do, you just knew. It was unbelievable."

I'm sitting by this point and my eyes are darting across her face. They land on her lips and I'm stuck in her gravitational pull. As if I have no control, my head is moving towards her and our lips find each other. How is it possible that every single time I kiss her this feeling shows up? By now I love it so much I want to kiss her all day just so that it doesn't go away. It even sticks around after the sound of our lips pulling apart is heard. It's like a hangover that you can look forward to.

"I love you," I say with the flutter still lingering throughout my body. "Don't be sorry. Everything is perfect. You're perfect."

"You're okay?"

"Yes. I'm okay."

"So, it was good?" she asks in a meek voice that I find to be especially endearing.

"Good?! Rach, don't take this the wrong way," for some reason I feel like I need to clarify this for her, "Because in relation to sex, this is meant to be a gigantic compliment: You're a beast!" Is it weird that saying that to her _really_ turned me on?

"I guess I did kind of... knock you out with my sexy time skills," she says with an eye roll and a foxy smile.

I can't help but laugh, "That might be the most adorable thing you've ever said. And yes, yes you did." I have to ask her this now, "Hey, Rach, did you... uuummm... attach the dildo upside down?"

Excitement fills her eyes, "Yes! I read that the best way to hit the g-spot was doing it doggy-style, but I wanted to see you, so I put it on upside down!"

She's so proud of herself, I don't even think she realizes what she just said to me. I can't resist pointing it out, "I can't believe I just heard Rachel Berry utter the words, 'doing it doggy-style' all together in one sentence."

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't downplay my stroke of genius by calling me out on my choice of terminology," she gets all Rachel Berry on me.

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that the two mind-blowing orgasms your stroke of genius caused are enough to prove it was just that."

She tilts her head down and directs her attention to her hands. I've learned that she does this whenever she doesn't know what to say or she's thinking about how to say something. Soon enough her head is back up, her eyes finding mine, "San? You know how you said 'anything you want' to me?"

"Yes. I meant it. Anything you want from me, you can have it." Hell, I'd give her one of my legs if she wanted it. Not that people do that or anything.

"Umm... well... I want you to..." she twists her torso and neck to look at her desk chair where the strap-on has been placed.

My eyes widen at the thought of it, but then a sense of worry flashes through me. It's a familiar feeling and I stop the question of "are you sure?" from leaving my throat. I can't stop it from appearing on my face, though.

"I'm sure," she answers my unvoiced question, "Not tonight though, I think you need to rest. You did pass out," she says half joking, half completely serious. "Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Okay," I say, unable to hide how worried I am.

"Naked cuddle time?" she asks adorably to calm me.

Finding the ability to mask my fear, "Shameless."

"What can I say? I've learned from the best," she says through that cunning smile that I love so much. By now she knows she can get away with saying anything to me.

"Watch it, Berry. I know where you sleep," I say, trying to recreate the tone I used to be able to speak to her so easily with. Truth is: I don't remember what it sounded like.

"In your arms," she easily replies.

Now it's my turn to be left speechless. I crawl to the top of the bed and slide under the blankets. Once I'm settled, I prop myself up on my elbow and look up to Rachel, who's still sitting indian style at the foot of the bed. I gesture to her side of the bed with my eyes. She crawls up to join me and turns the light off next her. When the room is dark and all we can see are each other's silhouettes, we both lie down. She kisses my lips and then my nose. I return her kisses.

"San, will you be my big spoon?"

"Anything you want, mí amor."

~:~:~

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate getting up early on Saturdays? Rachel's alarm is screaming! Damn dance class.

My face is embedded in Rachel's hair. "Rach," I groan into the back of her head.

Nothing.

"Come on, Rach. Shut it off!"

Still nothing.

I slowly pull my arm out from under her head and prop myself up. How the hell is she sleeping through this?!

I stretch myself over her and turn the disgustingly loud alarm off. She still isn't waking up. Oh my god! Seriously?

I know something that will wake her up. I'll just slowly roll her onto her back... move her legs a little bit... I'm so glad she took her underwear off last night...

"Mmmm..."

"You awake, yet baby?" I ask between a couple of slow licks of her clit.

"Uh uh."

"Good," I say into her. I've wanted to try something since she taught it to me a little over a month ago.

I suck her clit in between my lips and start humming the chorus of _Sexy Love_. When I get to the end of the chorus, I detach my lips from her and reposition them lightly over her clit. I take a deep breath and restart the chorus, this time pushing air through my lips making them vibrate.

"Ooooooh my god... Santana... don't stop... fuuuuuhhck..."

This is not easy. My lips stop moving every time her hips move. I put some pressure on them with my hands to try to get her to stop and it works. It also takes a lot of air. But she's getting so close. Her sounds will always keep me going. I direct my eyes up for a second and see that she's playing with her nipples. And there's some more motivation. Just one more deep breath and... that squeak.

I kiss her clit before climbing back up to her. "I told you I'd get it," I say when I get to her.

"I knew you would."

~:~:~

Rachel just left. She's totally late for her dance class. Totally worth it. I will quote Rachel verbatim: "Shower sex will always trump being on time."

As much as I enjoyed it, I don't think that we should make a habit of being late to things just because we can't keep our hands off of each other. Yeah, I know, shocking that this is something I'm saying. What I mean is that I don't want Rachel to change who she is because of her feelings for me. She's determined and she has all of these goals and aspirations. Her drive is one of the things that I find most attractive about her. But if she starts losing all of that because of me, I don't think I'll be able to live with myself.

Okay enough serious thoughts; time to call Britt Britt!

"Best friend!"

"Hey Britt! Ready for our Bestie Date?"

"Yes! What are we doing?"

"I don't know yet," I am not going out in public with this Band-Aid on my face, "I was thinking I'd come over to your house and we could decide then."

"Okay! Come over whenever you want! Way sooner than later, though."

"I'm walking out of the house right now," I really am. Turning around and locking the door.

"Good! See you soon!"

"Can't wait!"

~:~:~

We're staying at Britt's for the day. It isn't even because of my face; Brittany's babysitting her eight year-old sister. She's been in the living room playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 since before I got here. She probably doesn't even know I'm here. Which is weird because she usually jumps all over me the second I walk into the Pierce residence. I've known her her whole life. She's like _my_ little sister.

It's probably better that her attention is invested in an addictive video game, she doesn't need to hear about how her other big sister's face was sliced open by a crazy woman. Britt and I have been in the kitchen, which is in ear shot of the living room for child safety purposes, just talking. No subject is off limits:

"So you aren't going back to your house?" Brittany asks me.

"No, not unless my mother does a one-eighty. Rachel thinks her dads will let me live with them... as long as I reside in the guest room."

Brittany scrunches up her face a little and asks, "Are you sure that's a good idea? Living at your girlfriend's house?"

"Yeah. Why?" I'm not sure I like where this is going.

"It just seems... I don't know... presumptuous? Is that the right word?" She furrows her brow in thought for a moment and then says, "Yeah, presumptuous. Like, what if you guys break up? It's not like you aren't going to be gay anymore. What will you do then?"

I honestly never even thought about that. Being apart from Rachel is so far from my mind at this point, why would I think about it? I don't want to think about it either. "We aren't going to break up." Brittany inhales ready to speak and I cut her off, "I know, it's _presumptuous_ of me to say, but I don't want to think about ever breaking up with her. You know?" She gives me her "be realistic" look and I tell her, "If I have to, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

"Well, just so your bridge doesn't fall out from underneath you, you could live here. My parents love gay people! And they love you," she says with a lone tear escaping from her eye.

That one tear completely sets me off. I jump out of my seat throwing my arms around her and let my tears fall. "Britt, I don't know what I'd do without you!" I sob out, "I don't want to grow up anymore! I want raspberry or strawberry jelly to be the biggest decision I have to make not my girlfriend or my family!"

"San, you didn't even choose between the two jellies, you always had both with your peanut butter. You still do."

"Britt, this is serious," I say going back to my seat.

"I am being serious, San. Maybe you don't _really_ have to choose between them. Maybe your mother just needs some time. Maybe the idea of not seeing her daughter ever again will smack her in the face. Pun intended."

"You're the best, best friend anyone could ask for."

"I try," she says with fake cockiness.

"Thank you."

"Is Santana okay?" I hear a tiny voice ask from behind me.

I run my fingers under my eyes and get a nod from Brittany before turning around to answer her little sister, "Of course I am, Little One!"

"How come you have a Band-Aid on your face?" she says walking over to us.

Unlike her sister, who was nearly five feet tall when we were eight, she's still pretty small and I'm able to have her sit on my lap. "You want the real story or the fake one?"

"The real one! Duh!" She's like a miniature Britt Britt.

I sigh and say, "Okay, fine! It's a pimple. It's huge and gross, so I put a Band-Aid over it."

"I don't believe you. You have two little bruises, too. I told you I wanted the real story," she says in her eight going on twenty-five voice.

Damn these perceptive Pierce girls!

Brittany cuts in, rescuing me, "Remember when we talked about Mommy and Daddy's friends Alicia and Becca?"

"Yeah, they love each other and they want to have a baby, even though they can't _really_ have one."

"Exactly, but there's nothing wrong with that, right?"

"Right. What does this have to do with Santana and her Band-Aid, though?"

I decide to answer the question, "Some people don't think the same way that you and your family do. My mom is one of those people. I fell in love with another girl and my mom found out..."

She's so quick, "Did... did she hit you?" she says with tears starting in her bright blue eyes.

All I can do is nod because I know if I open my mouth to speak all that will come out are tears.

She swings her arms around my neck and says through her tiny tears, "I love you, Santana. Your mom's dumb!"

"I know she is, Little One, I know," I say returning her hug.

"Will you play Wii with me? We can play tennis so that you can win," she says still hugging my neck.

I laugh and she finally loosens her grip on me, "I'd love to. You know you're one of the only people that can beat me at video games." Actually I let her win, but I'd never tell her.

"I'm the only person you let win."

I'm caught.

~:~:~

Three tennis matches, two strings of bowling and twelve dance numbers later I found that the Pierce sisters are two of three people that can beat me at video games. I won every tennis match, Little One completely out bowled both Brittany and me, and both of them danced circles around me. I knew they would, but I agreed to play Just Dance 2 and Just Dance Kids anyways. Just like sometimes I agree to play Rock Band with Puck... I just let him hear how much I hate losing.

Sometime during the dancing, Rach must have sent me a text... or four.

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Hey, beautiful! How's the hang out session with your bestie going?

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Ummm, San? Are you okay? It's been like 20 minutes...

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>I'm sorry I keep texting you! I'm just worried. Get back to me soon. Please. I love you.

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Okay this is the longest you've ever gone without texting me back. Where are you?

These happened over the span of an hour. Perhaps I should respond. She kind of needs to chill out a little bit, though. Although, she is right; I usually text her back right away.

_Hey Babe! Sorry this took so long. I just read your texts. I'm still at Britt's and we've been playing video games._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>OMG! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get like that. I thought something might have happened for some reason. I thought you ran into your mom or something.

Psssht! Like I was going out in public with adhesive plastic on my face.

_Remember the Band-Aid you replaced this morning? No one outside of my nearest and dearest can see it._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Oh yeah. So I got all crazy for no reason?

_I wasn't going to say anything..._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>:p

_I'll be home soon._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Want to cook for me? *signature pouty face*

Anything she wants.

_Sure. I love you._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Yay! I love you, too!

"I'm so whipped," I say looking up from my phone at Brittany.

"What did you just agree to do?"

"Just to cook for Rachel. Her Dads are away for the weekend so it's just us in the house."

"Why don't you invite her here? My parents are gone for the weekend, too, so it's just us. You could cook for all of us."

I actually like that idea. I get to hang out with my two favorite girls... scratch that three favorite, including Little One, all at once? Perfect. "Okay. I'll text her."

_Hey Babe! How would you feel about coming over to Brittany's for dinner? I'll still cook for you._

I just realized I've been typing out full sentences to her in my text messages.

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>That sounds like fun! What's for dinner?

Oh. Right. This meal might be difficult. I'm cooking for a vegan and an eight year-old.

"Hey, Little One, what do you want for dinner?" I yell into the living room.

"Are you cooking?"

"Si, senorita pequita."

"Arroz y pollo!"

Every time. Great. I'll figure this out.

_Well, the little one wants arroz y pollo, but I'm going to make you arroz y tofu._

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>You're the best! The little one?

"I'm guessing the big smile on your face means that she's coming?" Britt says in the form of a question.

"Yup. We should probably go get her and then go to Whole Foods. They'll have everything I need."

"Sounds good to me."

_Brittany's little sister, Lily. You'll love her! We're going to come get you then go to Whole Foods. Sorry in advance if Lil takes the front seat. C U in 15?_

I was running out of characters.

**From Rach❤️:  
><strong>Hahahahahaha! That's okay! Can't wait to see you! And Brittany and Lily!

_Can't wait to see you!_

"Okay everybody: to Sonia!" That's my car's name. I may or may not have named her after Justice Sotomayor. Judge me all you want, she's badass.

"Where are we going?" Little One asks with wide, excited eyes.

"The grocery store. But first we're going to get the girl that I was talking about before," I tell her and then kneel down offering her my back for a piggy back ride.

"Your girlfriend is coming?!" she practically yells into my ear.

"Yup. I told her that you get the front though."

"San!" Brittany scolds me as she opens the door for us. She's told me like a million times that Little One can't sit in the front.

"Don't even worry about it. Hey, Little One, what do you do if I say Po Po?"

"Duck," she responds from behind me. I am a terrible influence on this child.

I can't see her face but I'm positive Britt's rolling her eyes. She opens the door behind the passenger seat and gets in, though. I drop Little One off at the passenger side and walk around the car to my side.

I sit down, turn to Little One and say, "Seat belt."

She immediately puts it on and then asks, "What's her name?"

"Rachel," I say as I turn the car on.

"Is she pretty?"

"She's beautiful," I say and get butterflies.

"Lil, why don't you save some questions for Rachel?" Brittany pops in from the back seat.

"I only have one more for Santana!"

"Go for it, Little One," I say and raise my eyebrows into my rearview mirror at Britt. Then I turn and start backing out of the driveway.

"How do you know you love her?"

"That's a big question for a Little One," I say just after I put the car in drive.

"But I wanna know!"

I look back at Britt and she gives me a "you asked for it" look. Then her expression turns to interest.

Let's see; the eight year-old version: "Well... whenever I think about her, I get this feeling in my tummy. It feels like I'm nervous, but instead of feeling bad, it feels really good. She makes me happy and she does all of these really great things for me, like put Band-Aids on my cuts and surprise me with BreadStix in a gazebo lit up with Christmas lights. I would do anything for her. I just... love her... and she loves me."

"Wow! Rachel sounds like she's awesome!"

I look back at Britt again and she has her "that's so sweet" pout on. I laugh a little bit and say, "She is Little One, she is."


	12. You Pick the Song

Saturday, May 7th (still)

I cannot get over how excited Lily was to meet Rachel. The second Rachel got in the car, the questions started flying. By the time we got to Whole Foods we were all aware of Rachel's favorite color, foods, movie, song, school subject, ice cream flavor, television show, favorite cartoon when she was little, dance style and her favorite store at the mall. I might have actually missed some topics. Rachel also explained to Little One (and Brittany) what vegan means. Since nothing gets past this kid she figured out that I have to make two separate arroz y pollos. She only felt a little bad.

I just pulled into the parking lot.

"Santana told me that she loves you because you give her a funny feeling in her tummy and you do really nice things for her like put Band-Aids on her and something about bread sticks in a gazebo," Little One says, unbuckling her seat belt. Children have no filter whatsoever.

I look into my rearview mirror and catch Rachel's eyes. "That's what she told you?" she asks both Little One and me.

I nod and Lily says, "Uh huh! I hope she does nice things for you, too! Because that wouldn't be fair." Before Rachel can answer, Little One gets out of the car.

"Lily!" Brittany yells through the closed window and then whips out of the car.

"You give me a funny feeling in my tummy, too. I feel it right now, actually," Rachel whispers into my ear.

I twist myself around and say, "Me, too."

Rachel brings her hand to my cheek and lightly places a kiss on my lips. Not even a second into it, there's knocking on Rachel's window. We break the kiss with smiles and laugh when we see Little One making faces at us in the window. We give each other our "I love you" eyes and then turn to get out of the car to join Britt and Lil.

"To answer your question, Lily," Rachel starts as we walk to the doors, "Santana does do nice things for me. She doesn't have to though, I'd still love her. The fact that she does is like bonus points on a test you already got a hundred on." Rachel grabs my hand, leans into me and asks, "How's that for a simile?"

"Perfectly dorky," I reply kissing the top of her head.

"What has she done for you?" Little One asks as she attempts to pull out a shopping cart.

Helping her out with the cart, Rachel says, "Well, she got me a penguin dressed up like a diva and named it after my idol and she made a special dinner just for me."

"She makes dinner for me and Brittany, too, though."

Rachel looks back at Britt and me, to find that we're cracking up. Lily's a smart ass. I've taught her well. I need to help Rach out though, "On Tuesday I took her to my special spot and I don't take anyone there."

"Okay, I guess you're even then," Little One says as she starts to push the cart that she can't see over.

Taking the cart from her, Britt says, "Lil, when you love some one, you don't keep track of the things you do for each other, you just do things because you love them."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. So, you and Artie are the same as Santana and Rachel?"

"Uh huh," Britt says pushing the cart through the automatic doors.

Rachel and I follow them and as we're walking through the door I catch my reflection in the window of the door, "Holy crap!"

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Rachel asks.

I just point to the Band-Aid on my face and Rachel starts laughing. "Not cool! I can't believe I forgot about it!"

"Don't worry Santana, no one is gonna care about your boo boo," Little One says joining Rachel and me.

"Thanks, Little One."

"Don't mention it," she says and wedges herself in between Rachel and me, grabbing both of our hands. I have to laugh at her attempt to sound nonchalant, it's way too cute. Then, she pulls on my arm so that my head is down near hers and says a little too loudly, "You were right, Rachel is beautiful."

This has to be the best game I've ever had and I'm not even doing anything.

"Have I ever lied to you?" I ask standing up straight. I turn to look at Rachel who mouths "I love you." I mouth it back.

"Yup! You did today when I asked you about your Band-Aid."

"Oh yeah," I say remembering my poor attempt at a cover up.

"That's the only time though."

"Hey, Lily, want to come with me to find something that's going to help Santana have an easier time making us all dinner?" Rachel asks.

"Okay. What is it?"

"I'll tell you when Santana can't hear us anymore, it's a surprise."

"Oooo! I love surprises! Let's go!"

"Meet you two in the freezer section in fifteen?" Rachel asks Britt and me.

"Sure," Brittany answers for us.

The two of them walk off hand-in-hand towards the vegan section. I think I know what she's getting.

"Lily, like, loves her," Britt says as I direct her to the produce section.

"I know. I have a feeling we're going to be competing for Rachel's attention and she's probably going to win," I say with a laugh.

"I think you might be right," Britt says joining in on my laughter.

I put a couple peppers in a bag and say, "That's okay, I'll get all of her attention later tonight."

Brittany's eyes go wide and she lets out a long gasp of remembrance, "Sexy times has restarted! I forgot! How is it?!"

"Ahem."

I turn to the left and there's this woman glaring at Britt and me. She has three little kids in tow, husking corn.

"Sorry," Brittany apologizes because I won't. I just give her an eye roll.

"Come on, we need rice," I say and begin leading Brittany away. "It's amazing! I thought the sex we were having before was pretty damn good, but this..." I lower my voice a little, "Three times she made me come last night. She didn't even touch me for the first one. And she got a strap-on." I try to indicate how amazing that was with a facial expression; I don't think I'm doing it justice. I settle for mouthing "oh my god."

"Okay, 1) I didn't even know that was possible and 2) What?! Rachel Berry and a strap-on?!" she says raising the volume of our conversation. Luckily, we're the only people in this aisle.

But still, "Shhhh... I don't think Rach wants everyone in Whole Foods to know... but, me neither! And I know! Britt, I passed out," I say grabbing all the rice I need and start heading towards the aisle with all the spices and stuff.

"I'm not sure that's a good thing."

"I was fine. We carried on an entire conversation after I woke up," I take a deep breath in anticipation of what my brain wants me to say next, "She wants me to..."

I don't think I realized how scared I am of doing it until this moment. I can't even finish the sentence.

"Wants you to...?" Brittany questions and then, "Oh!" I nod nervously and she says, "And you're scared!? Oh my god, San, sex never scares you."

"This is different Britt," I say feeling no need to hide my fear, "I don't want to hurt her. I mean she says that she wants me to but this isn't like using my hands, I can't feel what I'm doing. What if I'm hurting her and she doesn't tell me?" I say, my fear elevating with every word.

"Whoa! San, calm down. If you're this worried about it, talk to her. I really don't think she's going to force you to do it if you aren't ready. Clearly, this is something that you two have to discuss."

"Okay... yeah, you're right," I agree warily and realize that we're late meeting Rachel and Lily, "We should head to the freezer aisle."

Pushing the cart forward, she asks, "So... where did she get it?"

"The internet," I say with a tone indicating I should have thought of it myself.

Her eyes widen and her jaw drops, "Why didn't _we_ think of that?"

I laugh a little and lift my hands in an "I don't know" fashion.

"Why didn't you think of what?" I hear Lily ask. She and Rachel are both pretty intrigued in what our answer might be.

"Uhhh..."

"Meatless chicken! Duh!" Brittany rescues us, pointing to the boxes in Lily's hands.

"Oh! Rachel said it tastes just like real chicken," Little One responds.

"Well, at least I think it does. I haven't had real chicken in a long time," Rachel assures us.

I take the boxes from Lily and inspect them. "This should work. I might have to adjust my recipe a little, but no big deal."

"And how about some ice cream. Wanna try my favorite?" Rachel asks.

"Strawberry soy?" Lil asks.

"Yup," I respond for Rachel, "Let's do it!" I already know how it tastes and love it.

"Okay," both Brittany and Lily say.

"It's on me!" Rachel says all excited and then walks past me to get the ice cream with Lily right behind her. I try my best to disguise checking her out as turning around to follow her, I don't think I succeeded.

"Rachel's hot," Brittany leans in and whispers to me.

"I know and watch it," I say and am suddenly reminded of someone else who seems to think she's hot, "Remind me to ask you something later."

"Okay? Why not now?"

"It's kind of weird."

"Umm... weirder than holding our previous conversation in the middle of a grocery store?"

"Yes," I say as we approach Rachel and Lily. "Ready to go?" I ask everyone.

"Yup!" Lily answers for everyone.

~:~:~

Arroz y Pollo Sin Carne was a complete success. I barely had to do anything different than I normally do and I only had to make one dish.

I was right about competing for Rachel's attention with Little One. I was also right about her winning. They're currently playing Just Dance and I can't tell if Rachel is letting Little One win or not. If she is, she's being really smart about it and winning every few songs. She also isn't getting all huffy about losing. Brittany and I are just sitting on the sectional watching. Usually that's just as entertaining as playing. This is no exception.

"I'm totally going to win this one, Lily!"

"No you're not!"

Hmmm... who would possibly be texting me?

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Reminding you about that ?

Oh yeah. Okay. How do I put this?

_So I might just be paranoid and seeing things, but have you ever noticed how Quinn looks at Rach?_

"Oh man! How did you beat me?" I hear Rachel yell. She's totally acting and Lily has no clue.

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>With absolute hate? Yes.

"Let's do Firework!"

"OOO! I love that song!" Rachel exclaims.

_I mean when she thinks no one is looking at her._

I turn and look at Britt as I press send, then watch her read the text. She looks back up at me and gives me a "you're insane" look.

_I'm being serious okay! Just try to catch her in one of those moments. Don't like call her out or anything, just try to see it._

She rolls her eyes and then:

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Fine. But until proven otherwise, you're nuts.

_I'm fine with that. As long as you're going to try to see what I'm talking about._

"Hey Little One, you think I could dance with Rachel next?" I ask as the song ends.

"Yeah, I want some water anyways. Winning is exhausting," Lily says.

I see Brittany roll her eyes and Rachel and I just silently laugh at her smart ass comment. When Little One leaves the living room Rachel asks me, "That's your fault, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is!" Brittany answers for me.

"Isn't it adorable?" I ask rhetorically. "You pick the song," I spit out before anyone can answer what they thought to be a legitimate question. Sometimes my sarcasm is missed.

"You're going to regret that," Rachel says and then chooses _Hey Ya_, quite possibly one of the hardest songs in the game.

"Really, Rach? _Hey Ya_? You think you're gonna beat me?"

"Yes, I do. Thank you very much."

"Go Rach!" Brittany yells from behind us.

I turn around and mouth, "Really?"

Brittany just shrugs and points to the screen flashing dance moves that I'm missing.

"Shit!"

"OOOOOOOO! Santana said the s-word!" Great now Little One's back and another voice will be cheering for Rachel. "Rachel's kicking your butt, San!" See.

"Well maybe if I had some support from the Peanut Gallery..."

"What's a Peanut Gallery?" Little One questions.

"Forget it!"

Okay time for some flirtatious cheating. I'll just keep my right hand moving and with my left... SMACK!

"SAN!"

Lily is losing it! "Santana touched Rachel's butt!" She and Britt are huddled together laughing their fool heads off.

"Hey Britt, cover her eyes," Rachel says without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Why?!" I hear Lily.

"Done!" Brittany yells.

"What?" I say turning my head a little, then all the way to face Rachel, who is flashing me. It's only for like two seconds but it's enough for her to win. I can't even move. Brittany's hands have abandoned Lily's eyes for her own mouth and I'm pretty sure she's as shocked as I am.

"What happened?" Little One asks.

"All you need to know is that Rachel is a big cheater and I'm never playing Just Dance with her again," I say as the song ends.

"Hey, you started it!" Rachel says flippantly as she watches her score pile up.

"You took it to a completely different level," I say sitting down.

"I'm not complaining," Brittany pipes in.

"Uh uh, back it up Britts, _those_ are mine."

"Excuse me? They're whose?" Rachel says in that tone that makes me want to stop what I'm doing and do her instead.

I swallow hard and say, "Yours."

"That's what I thought."

"Wow. That was like watching the Discovery Channel," Brittany offers her own dorky simile.

"Huh?" I respond.

"I feel like I just witnessed something that I shouldn't have, like a mating ritual or something."

"Hello? The kid," I say gesturing to Little One who just so happens to be sleeping. "Too much fun," I whisper, "Want help bringing her upstairs?"

"Nah, she can sleep here tonight. Besides, I'll probably fall asleep here, too. This is how this usually works," Britt whispers leading us into the front hall.

"Want us to stick around for a little to keep you company?" Rachel asks because she actually is considerate of other people, sometimes.

"No way! I don't want to keep you two away from your empty house any longer," Britt says with a wink.

"Okay, Brittany, whatever you say," I say taking Rachel's hand, "Ready, Babe?"

"Mhm," she nods and then turns to Britt, "Thank you so much for inviting me over. It was really fun. And your little sister is really something else."

"She loves you," Britt says, "You're really great Rach. We should do this more often." She shrugs and says, "I guess Santana can come, too."

"Hey, I'm not stopping you two from hanging out, just remember Britts: This," I pull Rachel over closer to me, "Is mine." Clearly I'm joking. Well, 95% joking, 5% serious. Hey, I am who I am. I get jealous and possessive. Even if it's my best friend simply confirming my opinion of my girlfriend. The fact that I was joking doesn't stop Rachel from pinching my hand really hard, "Ow."

"I'd love to do this again, maybe without my breasts making an appearance, however. Okay, I'm going to hug you now."

"Okay," Brittany says and preps herself for a Rachel Berry embrace.

After their hug, I sneak in and give Britt a best friend squeeze and whisper, "Thank you," into her ear. "See you Monday."

"Monday," Britt says opening the door for us.

"Good night, Brittany," Rachel says as we walk out hand-in-hand.

"Night. Don't have too much fun tonight, ladies!"

Rachel turns from the car and says, "We will."

~:~:~

The entire seven minute drive from Brittany's to Rachel's occurred in silence. It was a good silence. My right arm was surrounded by Rachel the whole ride with her face nuzzled into my shoulder.

I pull into Rachel's driveway and she says into my arm, "I don't want to move. This is perfect."

"Babe, we can't stay in the car all night," I say and then kiss her head, taking in the scent of her hair. I also can't turn the car off until she lets go of my arm.

"Why not?"

"Because selfishly, I really enjoy sleeping in your bed. With you."

Releasing my arm she says, "Okay, since you admitted that your selfish..."

"I am not selfish!" She quirks her eyebrow up under her bangs at me. "If you're talking about the things I said at Brittany's, then fine, I am selfish. I can't help it! So I'm a little possessive! Is it really that wrong?"

"Nope."

"Huh?" I'm sufficiently caught off guard.

"I like it. I am yours. Not like 'you own me' yours, but like 'no one else matters' yours. The former, by the way, you know full well I would not allow myself to feel," I raise my eyebrows and nod, "I only reacted the way I did to hide how turned on I was. Are you mad?" she juts out her bottom lip in that pout I can't resist. And since I can't resist it, I kiss her. "I'll take that as a no."

"Can we go inside now?"

"What? You don't want to give car sex another go?" Rachel says running her hand up the inside of my thigh.

I grab her hand and say, "You have nosy neighbors." I turn the car off and say, "Besides, the car isn't conducive for the things I want to do to you."

"Oh. Maybe we should get out of the car then."

"I've been trying to say that this whole time!"

"Yet, you're still sitting here," Rachel says and then gets out of the car.

Shit. I feel like I might have accidentally implied something that I really didn't want to imply. I need to talk to her. How do I bring this up, though? _"__Hey Rach I know you're ready for me to fuck you with that thing but I'm not, even though I'm not the one who could possibly get hurt.__"_ Yeah, I'm sure that'll work out well.

"Hey, love, are you okay? You're pretty spaced out right now," Rachel says waving her hand in my face.

"Uh... yeah, babe. I'm fine. Sorry."

"It's okay. What were you thinking about?" she asks lacing her fingers in between mine.

Stalling, "I was just trying to remember how that last episode of The L Word ended. I can't."

"We didn't finish watching it remember?"

"Oh yeah. Well, could we? And maybe watch the next one?" I've never tried to weasel my way out of sex before. It's so out of character for me, I'm hoping that Rachel doesn't catch onto it. I still feel the need to cover my ground, though, "I mean, we have all night and most of tomorrow for... other things."

"I could go for some cuddle time. You can't jump me in the middle of an episode though," she says laughing.

Oh I won't. "I'll try to control myself," I say with a wink. Maybe I'm trying too hard to cover my ass.

Rachel just rolls her eyes and pulls me to the family room. She sets everything up as I take my place in the corner of the sectional. Well, her place as indicated by the look she gives me when she turns around. She makes her way over to the place next me anyways and snuggles into me. Lifting the remote she asks, "What's the last thing you remember seeing?"

"Ummm..." more stalling, "Maybe you should just start it from the beginning?"

Sighing she says, "Okay."

Success.

~:~:~

I think we're nearing the end of the third episode. I wonder how many I can get her to watch. You know, when you get past how horny you are because of the stuff that happens on the show, you realize how great it is. "Babe, this show is awesome!"

"I know."

Oh no. That voice. And there they are: her lips moving up my neck. "Maybe we could watch another one?" I ask trying not to sound desperate.

"Sure."

Oh thank god!

"After I'm done with you."

Shit!

Wait, does that mean no immediate reciprocation? Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so much. Especially not when Rachel's mouth is doing unbelievable things to my neck, "Don't stop! Oh my god, Rach!"

"So you like it when I let you know your mine?" she asks and returns to her task.

"Yes... oh god, yes... harder... I'm yours!" What is coming out of my mouth? "Oh fuck!" When did she unbutton my jeans? Oh she has impeccable multi-tasking skills. And there go my pants and underwear. It's like my body lifted myself up without me telling it to. When did she get on the floor? Oh, those magic fingers.

I can't believe I'm about to try to manipulate her, "I have a secret to tell you."

"Spill it," she says as she pumps her fingers in and out of me. She's moving slowly but it's perfect. And we're just staring into each others eyes.

"Wait, first, more..." She leaves me and then returns with what I asked for, "Yes!"

"What's your secret?" she asks as she finds my spot.

"I-I...oh god... I like it... when _you're_ inside of me... mm!"

"Yeah? So, you like it when my fingers do this?" She starts turning her hand as she pumps.

"Aah! Fuck! Yes! You feel sooo good!"

"Better than the strap-on?" she asks picking up her pace.

Would you believe me if I said I wanted her to ask that?

My head rolls back and hits the couch, "Fuck! Yes. So much better! ¡Ah, querida! ¡Te quiero!"

Picking up her pace again she says, "I still want you to use it on me."

No!

Why did I think that would work?

"Fuck!"

My brain and my body are fighting each other. One wants to think and the other wants to come. Rachel's pumping even harder. If my brain ever shuts up she might actually be the first person to make me come just by penetration. Shut up brain! Just a couple more and... "Rachel! Fuck!"

I wish I could enjoy this. The second my orgasm started, so did my brain. I'm not thinking about how amazing this feels, but how I'm afraid of what Rachel could feel. Instead of crying out in ecstasy, I'm just... crying. And it's painfully obvious that they aren't the "this is so beautiful" tears.

Completely stopping her movement, "San?" I can't respond. I just keep my face in my cupped hands. She pulls out of me and I hear something drag across the coffee table. Then, I feel my my legs being lifted. She's putting my underwear back on, "Can you lift your butt up for me?" I do and once they're on I lift my knees to my chin, taking my hands from my face and wrapping my arms around my shins.

Maybe I am going insane. Like, why else would I do this? I just ruined my own orgasm! What is wrong with me? And since when do I care about whether or not I hurt someone?

Since I fell in love. I started caring a long time ago.

"So, are you going to tell me why you were just crying?" Rachel is sitting on the coffee table in front of me. She reaches her hand over, grabs the box of tissues near her, and offers them to me, "You don't have to tell me, but I might actually get mad at you if you don't... because I'm sensing this is about me."

"I'll tell you," I say into my knees, "I'm just trying to figure out how."

"So it is, about me?"

"Will you just give me a second!" I snap at her. I shouldn't have, but she just keeps talking. And now she's getting up, "Where are you going?!"

"I'm giving you a second. I'll be in the kitchen," she says coldly.

"No! Don't go!" Just fucking spit it out Lopez! "I don't want to use the strap-on on you!" I take a breath, hear Rachel's footsteps stop, and then say, "Not yet. I know you said that you're ready, but I'm not. I'm afraid... I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you!"

I turn around to look over the back of the sectional at her. Her head is cocked to the side and her brow is furrowed. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know how to. And you're so 'Gun Ho' about it, I felt like it was weird for _me_ to be the one nervous about it."

Finally coming back to the coffee table, Rachel says, "Sweetheart, you can say anything to me. I don't think it's weird that you feel that way. But, just so you know, I know it's going to hurt. It hurt the first time you fingered me, but then it didn't. Why wouldn't this be the same?"

"My two skinny fingers are nothing compared to that thing!" I snap at her again, "Rach, it hurt me! I can only imagine how much pain it could cause you. You don't get how much it hurts at first. I don't want to be the cause of it."

I can almost see the gears going in her head. She's been analyzing me since I started that rant. "This is coming from somewhere else."

She's right. It is. I'm not sure I want her to hear about how I lost my virginity. Maybe it's only fair that I tell her, though. I mean, I took hers.

She's staring at me, I should say _something_.

"I was fourteen," I spit out and Rachel's posture changes as if she already knows what's coming, "Britt and I were invited to a party at the quarterback's house. We had just been invited to join the Cheerios, so our invitation to the party was automatic. I had a couple beers and a senior was flirting with me. He wanted to go upstairs. I said yes. I wasn't even drunk. I've been doing tequila shots with my Tio since I was twelve. I consciously said yes to everything. I wanted to have sex with him. I thought that virginity was overrated and if I was going to get anywhere at McKinley, I was going to have to pass through the bedroom first. I knew it was going to hurt, but I didn't care. Until it happened. He was huge. Like, actually had to use a Magnum huge. And he didn't care that he was hurting me. He just kept going until he came and then he left," okay breathe and say this next part, "After that, I began my quest for v-cards. I started with Puck and never looked back," I think about what I've just said and then add, "Until you. You're different."

After a few moments of silence Rachel says, "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault. I'm fucked up."

"Santana, you are not fucked up, as you so elegantly put it. I get it. And I'm not going to make you do something you aren't ready to do. Although my mind isn't changing, I am one hundred percent willing to do anything for you to be ready," Rachel says to me while holding my hands in hers.

I didn't think about that, "Okay. It might take me while to be ready."

"That's okay, we have time."

"We can start now, though," I say, suddenly really in the mood.

"Well don't let these stop you," Rachel says standing up and pulling her pants and underwear off.

I pull her down onto the couch and take the position she had earlier. I kiss her and start circling her clit. She hums into my mouth as I lower my fingers and tease her entrance. I slide my first two fingers into her. Easy. I pump a few times and curl my fingers up, convincing myself that I'm creating more space. I take my lips back from Rachel's and ask, "Ready?" She nods and I pull out, then slowly enter her again with a third finger.

I get to my first set of knuckles and start to think that maybe this will be okay. Now the second set...

"Ah!"

Mierda.


	13. She's Like a Human Polygraph

Sunday, May 7th

It took everything in me not to yank my hand back after she let out that cry of pain. Okay, maybe it was just a reflex and I'm over-reacting; I just don't want her to go through what I did. I mean, I kind of already did it to her. She was fine after that initial outburst. I should have known that she would be, I just needed to prove it.

I just don't want to cause her _any_ pain, not again. I hurt her enough when all of this started. I refuse to hurt her ever again.

~:~:~

"San! Wake up!" Rachel does not sound happy.

"Babe, it's still early!" I say peaking at her clock. It's a glorious 10:07.

"You _need_ to call your father! He's been calling you since five o'clock on _friday_!" she says with force and throws my phone at me, "You've just been ignoring him!"

What the fuck?! "You went through my phone?!"

"It's been vibrating next to my head for a half an hour. I was just trying to figure out how to put it on silent and it kept reminding you of all of your missed calls and texts. You will not turn this around on me simply because you've been caught and you don't want to deal with your problems!"

Whoa.

"And you still haven't told me what really happened on Friday. I find it very hard to believe that your father deserves to be ignored and I know that there has to be a reason why you didn't notice that your face was bleeding. I've been really patient and haven't asked you because I figured you'd just spill it and you don't like to be pestered, but you _will_ fill in the blanks. After you call your father back. I refuse to idly sit on the side and watch you push away the one person who can help you get your mother back."

I'll say it again: Whoa. She's actually angry at me. Usually this would be a turn on, not today. She's too serious and too right. I grab my phone and start going through all of my missed calls and text messages. As I do, Rachel continues in a less heightened tone, "San, why have been ignoring him?"

"I don't know." I do know.

"Yes you do," this is why I can't lie to her, she always knows. She's like a human polygraph.

Fine, "I don't know what to say to him. My mother and I are the only family he has and we can't even be in the same room together! What am I supposed to say? 'I fucked up our family, Papá! ¡Lo siento!'"

"Oh please, Santana, like you would ever say that to him. Or anything like that, for that matter. And you know for a fact that he doesn't think that way."

She's really pushing it, "Okay, little miss know-it-all, what would I say then and what _is _he thinking? I mean, you seem to know _so_ much!" I might have taken that a little too far.

"Stop trying to turn this around! There is nothing in this about me! I just want you to call your father who clearly wants to talk to you. He wouldn't have called you fifty-seven times between Friday evening and this morning if he didn't," and like magic my phone starts buzzing again, "Answer it." I just look at her with all the resentment I'm feeling, "Answer it, Santana!" I'm not really sure why I'm doing this. "Gimme it!" Rachel says forcefully and before I can react she snatches the phone out of my hand.

"What the fuck!?"

"Hi Dr. Lopez, Santana's right here," she puts her finger over the receiver and says, "If you don't take this from me, I swear I'll-"

I snatch the phone out of her hand before she can complete her threat, "Hello."

"¡MIJA! Dónde has estado?"

"Around."

"Then why haven't you been answering my calls?"

Silence.

"¡Mija, Lo siento! Si hubiera sabido que tu madre iba a hacer eso ..."

Letting my guard down a little, "How would you have possibly known that she was going to do that?" I'm not in the mood to speak my mother's native language.

"¿Qué tan grave es el corte en tu mejilla?"

He did see it. "It isn't that bad. I didn't even notice it until I got to my car and saw the blood on my hands."

"¡Ay dios mio! ¡Mija! Siento que yo no lo te dije. You walked out so quickly."

Maybe I did. I wouldn't know. Everything was moving in slow motion at that point, "It's okay Papá..."

"¡No! ¡No lo es! Soy tu padre. ¡Se supone que debo protegerte!"

I can't even imagine how difficult this is for him. "Against what?! The other woman that you're supposed to protect?! Papá, I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between us! I know that you want me to come home, but I don't think I can. Rachel is going to ask her dads if I can live here for a little. Maybe someday I'll be able to come home, but mother has to change a lot."

"I understand. ¿Qué estás haciendo ahora?"

"Nothing."

"No estoy trabajando. ¿Puedo tomar tú y Rachel a comer?"

Rachel is close enough to hear the question and she nods. "Sure."

"Okay, I'll be at Rachel's house to pick you two up at 12:30."

"Okay, Papá."

"¿Y Mija?"

"¿Sí?"

"Te amo."

"Te amo, también, Papá."

"Adios."

"Adios."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rachel asks after I take the phone from my ear.

"Don't," I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm pretty pissed at her.

"Why are you mad at _me_?"

Just kidding, I do know why I'm mad at her, "You aren't my therapist. I don't need you to analyze my issues."

She lets out one of those throaty sighs and says, "You're right, I'm not, but I am your girlfriend and I care about you. I just want to help you, San. I can't help it. I see you hurting and I just want to make it better. Even if I don't know how."

How can I stay mad at that!? I didn't even have a good reason to be mad at her in the first place. Ugh! She just wants to know what happened at the hospital, "You know, I knew I was walking into a trap."

"Huh?" Rachel questions my sudden subject change.

"I knew that my mother was going to be in that room when I walked in. He was on my side from the start, though. She called me a "manflora sucia" and he was all over her about it-"

"Manflora?"

"Dyke, without the 'a,' it's faggot," I answer coldly. I see the sadness in her eyes and continue, "Then she insulted you and I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her and she back-handed me. I remember bringing my hands to my face and my dad coming over to me. I saw his mouth form the words "lo siento" and then he went over to my mother. They were screaming at each other..." I trail off remembering what played out next.

"What were they saying?"

"I have no idea. I couldn't hear anything," I take a deep breath, "I started to have another panic attack and I didn't know what to do. Then I started thinking about you and how you'd know what to do and how everything would be better once I was with you again. I snapped out of it, apologized to my Dad for not being able to make things work out, and left."

She isn't saying anything.

I've been wondering about something since Tuesday and her silence is giving me the opportunity to ask, "How _did_ you know how to help me?"

She wasn't expecting me to ask _her_ a question. Maybe I shouldn't have asked that. She doesn't look like she wants to answer it. Although, she's staring at her hands.

Seeming to have made a decision, she lifts her head and starts, "I haven't always been able to let people's insults roll off of me. The first two years of middle school were the worst two years of my life. Pubescent girls and boys are perhaps the worst people on earth..."

Pssht, I know, I spent those two years in Lima Heights Adjacent.

"... I really don't want to divulge into how I was treated because I try not to re-hash the memories. Just know that it was worse than anything Quinn or you have ever said to me."

Internally, I'm cringing at the mere thought someone being worse to Rachel than Quinn and I have been.

"I was depressed and didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to go to my voice lessons or dance classes, either. I didn't want to do anything. My dads thought that I was just "becoming a woman" and having the accompanying mood swings. Until the morning of my Bat Mitzvah. I didn't want to go. My dad's had invited basically the whole school to it, but I knew no one would be there. I was so adamant about it I started fighting with them. That's when I had my first panic attack. I don't remember much about it, just that my dads took me to the hospital and afterwards I had to start going to therapy. I learned how to deal with things and I started channeling everything singing, dancing and acting. My therapist helped me see that things do get better but the only way to get there is if you help yourself. I still go to therapy, just not nearly as often. Twice a month, Saturday mornings."

So, I made her late for a therapy session and not a dance class? "I'm sorry," is all I can manage to say to her.

"San, it isn't your fault. You weren't even there."

I still feel terrible about how I used to treat her. "I know, but I've said horrible things to you in the past. I can't help but feel guilty about it, especially knowing that you've dealt with it for so long."

"But you don't treat me like that now, that's all that matters," she looks down at her hands for few seconds and then brings her head back up, "I remember when you transferred to Lima," I look at her, wondering where she's going with this, "You were really quiet. I thought you were beautiful. I always wanted to talk to you but I'd get nervous and you were always attached to Brittany. I noticed the way looked at her when you thought no one was looking..."

I'd say I wish she had tried to talk to me back then, but looking back I realize how in love with Brittany I was and how I wouldn't give anyone else the time of day.

"... I wanted you to look at _me_ like that. It scared me, so I suppressed it, but for some reason it never really went away. Even after you found your voice and your popularity. But now, you look at me like you used to look at Brittany, just a little different."

She's had feelings for me since the eighth grade? I barely knew she existed.

Stop doing this to yourself! No regrets, right? All that matters is now and tomorrow, "The way I felt about Brittany pales in comparison to how I feel about you now. That's what's different."

"I love you, Santana Cristina Maria Lopez."

"Don't you be throwing out my government name like that!" I sass. She laughs and I say, "I love you, Rachel Barbara Berry."

~:~:~

Papá is never late. He showed up to pick us up at exactly 12:30. We would have been out of the house by then too if I hadn't thankfully caught sight of the mark Rachel left on my neck. We wasted five minutes trying to cover it up with make-up. There isn't enough green and yellow cover-up in the world to mask the red and purple shades of belonging that she gave to me. While I enjoy seeing it, I'd rather spare my father and Rachel's fathers. Eventually, Rachel found my black scarf and we weren't out of the house holding hands.

He took us to BreadStix. It's kind of a go-to place when you know you're feeding a vegan - we should really seek some other place out. We're sitting in a booth. Rachel and I are on one side and he's sitting across from us. Rachel and I have been playing footsies since we sat down. It's ridiculously juvenile and I don't care. It's also perfection.

"So you think that your fathers will be alright with Tana staying at your house?" Papá asks Rachel.

"I'm ninety-five percent positive they will. I think they get it," Rachel answers him.

"It's okay if they aren't though," I say, grabbing Rachel's hand under the table, "Brittany told me yesterday that if things fall through, I could live with her family."

"She did?" Rachel asks as if I just said Brittany killed her own cat.

"Umm... yeah. Rach, she's my best friend, why wouldn't she offer?" I ask trying to smooth things out.

"I'm sorry, that makes sense. I guess I just didn't think you'd explore other options for some reason. That was silly of me," she says.

"How is Brittany?" my Dad asks trying to change the subject in a not-so-obvious way, "I feel like I haven't seen her in months."

"She's still dating Artie."

His eye brow quirks up at the name, "Abrams?"

"Yeah," I say and experience a flashback to when I was little. One of the very few times I've seen him cry. Both of my parents thought I was asleep, but I could hear them talking in the next room. We lived in a tiny house in Lima Heights Adjacent then and my room was off of the living room. He was crying into my mother's arms about a boy he couldn't fix. He said that he was going to be stuck in a wheel chair his whole life because he couldn't fix him. I remember that my mother didn't tell him that he shouldn't feel guilty and I wondered why at the time because that's what I wanted to say to him. Now, I know it wouldn't have made him feel better, it just would have made it worse. Once upon a time, my mother was good person.

"That's good. For both of them. Have you seen her little sister?"

"Papá, you should hear her! ¡Ella es una sabelotoda! I'm so proud!"

"It's really terrible," Rachel says.

Papá laughs and "Great, just what the world needs."

"Hey, you both love me! Don't even act like you don't!" I say with my classic head shake looking between them.

Rachel squeezes my hand and Papá surrenders, "You're absolutely right, Mija." He directs his attention to his plate, twirls some spaghetti around his fork and takes a bite. Then, he turns to Rachel and asks, "So, Rachel, you don't eat anything that comes from an animal?"

I'm sensing him going into doctor mode. He might be a neuro-surgeon but he's still a _doctor_ and he's already lectured _me_ about Rachel's choice.

"Yup, I'm completely vegan," she answers cutting her fork into her fake-meatball.

I know exactly where he's going with this. I'm going to let him do it, though. He's doing it because he cares, not because he's a jerk that doesn't understand.

"It's a big decision to drastically change your diet like that. I take it you did the research before making it?"

He's being fairly tactful about it. Mad props.

"Of course I did. I talked to my dads about it, too and they were worried, but I explained to them that it was moral decision and that I wasn't doing it just because it's trendy. Which is true, it's a moral decision."

Okay here it comes: the lecture.

"So you know that you might not always be able to keep up this diet? No matter how many substitutes you find, you aren't going to be able acquire the right amount of nutrients your body needs," Papá says, finally getting to his point. He isn't condescending about it, he's just telling her.

"I know. Someday I'll have to start drinking milk and eating eggs. I might even consider becoming a pescatarian someday, but right now, my morals are telling me to be a vegan. When my body and my doctor tell me otherwise, I'll change," Rachel says in her mature voice. I'm thinking about inappropriate things and my father is across the table from me... bad. Rachel gave him the perfect answer, by the way.

"Oh, well, good for you! I like a girl with morals. Good job, Tana. You should keep her around."

"I know, Papá," I say looking into Rachel's eyes and suppress the urge to kiss her. We all go back to our meals that have been getting cold in front of us.

After a few minutes of consuming in silence Papá breaks into it with, "So, Mija, are you going to have to come to the house to get things? You must be running out of clothes."

"Oh yeah," I say, remembering that I'm wearing the last of the clothes I brought to Rachel's with me.

"You can come today if you need to, your mother is covering for someone tonight so she's at the hospital for twenty-four hours straight."

"We still haven't asked Rachel's dads yet-"

"They should be home soon. If you bring us back to my house after this, we can ask them and come to your house to get stuff," Rachel cuts in.

"Okay," my dad says with sadness.

I race through my brain trying to find the right thing to say to him and all I can come with is, "I wish I didn't have to do this, Papá, I really do. I know we aren't the most normal family that sees each other all the time, but I do wish that we could at least all be in the same room together. I'm sorry that this happened."

"How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't your fault, Mija? I never want you to feel guilty about who you are. I'm going to do everything I can to make your mother see that she is wrong. She will understand that this isn't a choice you've made," he folds his hands in front of him and leans in a little, "I think what you said got to her a little. She asked me how you were yesterday. Of course, I couldn't tell her because you weren't answering my calls, but still, she asked about you."

I go back to that thirty-one minutes for the thousandth time and recall what I said to her. It could have been any of the things that I said that shook her. Suddenly it hits me, for real, that I do want my mother in my life. Maybe Brittany's right and I don't have to choose between happiness and family. Maybe they can be one in the same. Maybe we just need time, "I don't want her to hate me, Papá, but I don't want to lie about who I am either."

"I know, Mija," he looks directly into my eyes and says, "You're going to get what you want. I've always given you what you want. This isn't different."

I believe him.


	14. A Limping Hot Mess

Monday, May 9th

Rachel's dads agreed. I have a feeling that the healing cut on my face that I'd decided to let breathe, helped to coax their decision. The stipulation is that I take the guest room. I have to sleep there on school nights. It's cool. Thinking about it, life would be similar to that if I wasn't living with the Berry's. I'd spend my week nights in my own room across town, but now, I'm spending them five and half steps away.

The Berry dads came with Rachel and me to get my stuff and they spoke to my father about the arrangement. My Dad is going to funnel some extra money into my account every week for me to give to Rachel's dads. Once a week my Dad is going to come over to the Berry's to have dinner with all of us. I'm going to cook. Of course.

I've been thinking a lot about what Brittany said to me about my mother. How the fact that she could _actually_ lose her only child, might really get to her. I got this idea. It's cruel and manipulative, but it feels necessary. Rachel thought that it was taking things a little too far, but my father actually agreed with me. As much as I value Rachel's opinions, his is what matters when it comes to getting my mother back.

We took everything.

The walls, the bed, the closet, and the dresser were all left bare. It took an hour to remove what I'd spent three years perfecting. After the last picture came off the wall and the last hoodie was stuffed into a trash bag, I sat on my naked mattress and took it all in. That was it. Sitting out in the hallway was my life in trash bags and big plastic containers. I didn't think I'd be doing this for another year and half or so, when I would be moving on to bigger and better things in a bigger and better place.

But here I am, surrounded by all of my things in the Berry's guest room. My room. They told me I can make it my own. Maybe I'll get around to doing that.

~:~:~

"_Mhm... right there... oh my-fuck...__"_

"_Te gusta, querida?__"_

"_¡__Ah! S__í__. __¡__Me encanta! Don__'__t stop! Your tongue is genius _Jitterbug_"_

"_¿__C__ó__mo?__"_

"Jitterbug"

"_Ummm...__"_

"You put the boom-boom into my heart

You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts

Jitterbug into my brain

Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same

But something's bugging you"

"_Rach, Are you singing Wake Me Up Before You Go, Go?__"_

"Something ain't right

My best friend told me what you did last night

Left me sleepin' in my bed

I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead."

What the fuck!? I shoot up in my bed aware of two things: 1) the mess in my underwear and 2) the absurd song that just interrupted a perfectly fantastic sex dream. What the hell is going on?! AT 5:15 IN THE MORNING!

Before I know it I'm out of my bed and marching across the hall towards the sounds of Wham! screaming from Rachel's room.

**Wake me up before you go-go  
><strong>**'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo  
><strong>**Wake me up before you go-go  
><strong>**Take me dancing tonight  
><strong>**I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)**

This song is strangely appropriate for my current situation.

**You take the grey skies out of my way  
><strong>**You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day  
><strong>**Turned a bright spark into a flame  
><strong>**My beats per minute never been the same**

It takes Rachel far too long to realize that I'm glaring at her from the door frame of her workout room.

"Did I wake you up?" she yells over George Michael.

"No, I always-"

"What?"

"I alway-"

"San, I can't hear you!"

I throw my arms, whip around and tear her iPod off the dock.

"Why'd you do that? I need it!"

"You know, your room is only sound proof if you close the door! And yes, you did wake me up." Oh look at those legs. No! You're mad at her.

"You're extraordinarily angry at the moment. Usually when I wake you up you're merely aggravated with me. This is a new level. I'm not sure I want to talk to you right now."

"Rachel, you've never woken me up at five-fifteen in the morning before! This is absurd!" So are the muscles working in her legs. Oh god that dream... shut up! Angry!

"Nice underwear," she says out of nowhere with a smirk.

What? Of course I'm wearing gray boy briefs. Perfect for showing off my morning mess. Anger takes a back seat to embarrassment. Actually, everything takes a back seat to embarrassment. I'm just going to turn around and go back to my room.

"San, wait!" I hear the elliptical stop moving and Rachel's feet pounding towards me, "San!"

"I'd like to go back to bed please," gaining back some of my boldness, "Maybe I'll be able to return to my glorious dream."

"The one that caused that," she says pointing to the wet spot between my legs and biting her lower lip.

"The one about you telling me how genius my tongue is."

She swallows so hard her throat drastically expands and retracts. Then, like we just switched on the magnets that always draw us to each other, we smash together. Lips and hands are everywhere, as if we've never touched before.

"Door," Rachel pants into my neck. I reach my leg out behind me in search of the sheet of wood that will separate us from the rest of the world and kick it closed. Rachel pushes me back against the door and finds the knob to lock it. Clearly we've learned our lesson.

She doesn't even bother with my shirt and goes straight for the fabric around my hips. The piece of cloth that gave me away is gone in an instant and so is Rachel from my line of vision.

"I feel like I haven't tasted you in forever," I hear her say just before I feel her lips on my other set. She stands up and grabs my eyes with hers. She sends her tongue around her lips, "I don't know why, you're delicious."

All of the air has been stolen from lungs. It's returned to me the moment Rachel's tongue swipes up my clit.

"How flexible is my former-cheerleader girlfriend?" she inquires as she begins lifting up my leg. She stops lifting it when she's able to rest my foot on the top of her dresser, which is conveniently positioned next to the door. I have to grab the doorknob to keep from losing my balance but otherwise, this is easy and I'm thanking my five year-old self for wanting to take gymnastics. Only briefly because that's actually a little awkward.

"Oh god, Rach! Uh huh!"

I feel her tongue slip lower and I bite my lip in anticipation. Then, there it is: that talented muscle going where no one else's has ever been before. It feels better than I imagined it would. Her taste buds meet every nerve ending perfectly, sending shockwaves through my spine.

"Uuuuh, baby, _your_ tongue is genius."

As if that was her cue, she sends her tongue impossibly deeper into me with faster motions. I throw my head back and arch my back simultaneously when her thumb meets with my clit. She's tracing relentless circles over it, while her tongue dances within my walls.

"I... you.. I'm... oh my-fuck... Rachel..."

The orgasm builds so quickly I barely have time to prepare for it. I lock my knee just in time for all of my nerves to be taken over by it. My hand that isn't clutching the doorknob for dear life, smacks the door behind me and Rachel stops.

Oh shit. That wasn't subtle at all. Rachel is not pleased with my reflexes. I'll just bring my leg back down and apologize... with my lips.

I don't taste as good as Rachel does.

~:~:~

So, breakfast was awkward. They didn't say anything but the Berry Dads definitely heard that smack on Rachel's door. I guess her room isn't _entirely_ sound proof. There were a lot of heavy glances between each couple and none of them went unnoticed by the other.

Rachel and I talked about it: we need to chill out a little. I think we're going to have to limit sexy times to when we know the Berry Dads are asleep and when they aren't home (which isn't as often as I had originally thought). I'd like for Rachel's dads to _not_ hate me for taking their daughter's "innocence."

Oh... umm... so apparently Rachel has skipped her last THREE voice lessons! By apparently I mean she _has_ skipped them. She just told me.

"When's your next lesson?" I ask impatiently as I shift my car into park.

"Tomorrow. I'm not sure I want to go though."

"What!? Why?" Nope, not happening.

"I don't know. I feel like I have better things to do?" she says leaning over the console and stroking up the inside of my thigh.

"No way! You are not ruining your dreams because you want to have sex with your girlfriend. I can't let you do that!"

"It's just one lesson. I'll go next week," she says with her hand inching up higher.

I grab her hand and say, "No. This will be four lessons. That's an entire month We're getting out of Lima, Rach and we're going to do everything to get there. That means no skipped voice lessons."

"_We're_ getting out?" she asks taking her hand back from me.

"Yes, we! I don't know about you but I'm hauling my ass to New York City if it's the last thing I do." Funny story: everyone knows that's where Rachel wants to be.

"Wh-where do you want to go?"

Now I've got her attention, "I don't know, maybe NYU. My GPA is high enough and I just have to bring my SAT score up a couple hundred-"

"How long have you wanted to go to school in New York?"

Since middle school when I first started realizing I was just a little different than all of the other girls, "Let's just say a long time."

"So, since before us?" It's clear that she's shocked but I can't tell if it's the happy kind or the not-so-happy kind.

"Yes, but honestly," I hope this gets a happy response, "You reinforce it."

"You've thought about future-us?"

Not really the happy response I was hoping for and this conversation just took a frightening turn. I really should have realized what I was saying. What do I say now? I should be honest, right? Shit! What if that isn't what she wants to hear, though? Wait, being honest with her hasn't failed me, yet. Actually, things have only gotten better every time I've been honest with her.

Here it goes, "Yes."

"Oh."

WHAT?! Oh? I, me, Santana Fucking Lopez, just told her girlfriend she's thought about their future and all said girlfriend has to say about it is 'Oh?' Jesus! This feels so shitty, she might as well have just broken up with me- oh shit. What if she breaks up with me?

"We're going to be late for homeroom," Rachel says opening her door.

That is literally the last thing that I care about right now. I'm pretty sure I'm the epitome of flabbergasted at the moment.

"I've already missed a day, I can't be late less than a week later," she says and steps out of the car.

Follow her! Ready, go!

Why am I not moving? GO!

Open the door. Good.

Now, "Rach, wait!"

Okay get out! Oh shit. Ow.

"I really can't, Santana. We have less than five minutes," she turns and walks faster towards the entrance.

"Ow. Fuck!" I can't even chase her down. My fucking hip is killing me! Great, gym and sex injuries are what I get for choosing Glee over Cheerios. And there goes my girlfriend, thinking God knows what, that I'm not even going to see for at least another three and half hours!

Man, I am winning at life!

My other pink peg just left my passenger seat...

No! Shut up! That's the kind of shit that got me into this mess!

Even though it's what I want.

Fuck! Now I have to limp my ass to homeroom.

~:~:~

**To Rach****❤️****:  
><strong>Oh? That's it?

It took me two periods to work up the courage to type that. It isn't even good, but it's all I can come up with.

Twenty excruciating minutes later:

**From Rach****❤️:  
><strong>This is not a conversation to be had via text message, Santana.

Immediately:

_But we are going to talk about it, right?_

Just before I get up to go to lunch (an hour and half later):

**From Rach❤️****:  
><strong>We probably should.

What does that mean?

_What does th_

Fuck it! Delete. There is literally no point in asking her, at the rate she's going she isn't going to get around to texting me back until we're sitting next to each other in Glee.

If we even sit together.

When did this happen to me? I'm a fucking mess! She did this to me. It's been a month and like a week and I'm already thinking about my life with her. When did I become a stereotypical lesbian? I mean, we've already got the U-Haul joke checked off our list. What's next: the turkey baster?

Oh God!

No!

"Hey San, are you just going to stand here in the middle of the lunch line all day?" Brittany bursts through my ridiculous thoughts.

"Uh... I'm not even hungry. I'll go find us a table."

No Rachel in sight.

"Okay."

Ow. How did I hurt my hip this bad? Maybe locking my knee was a bad idea.

"San, why are you limping?" Brittany asks as she puts her tray down and sits next to me. Hopefully no one tries to sit with us.

"I don't want to talk about it," I say attempting to rub the pain away from my hip.

"Oooooh... hmmm... maybe you should start stretching again? I mean if you're going to try and get all fancy in the-"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it, Brittany!"

"Oooookay. Did you want to sit by yourself, too?" Brittany responds in her "don't give me that shit" voice.

"No! I'm sorry. I just..." Oh fuck it! You know you want to ask her, "Do you ever think about your future?"

"Ummm... yeah. What seventeen year-old doesn't?"

"Okay, well, do seventeen year-olds think about their futures with their boyfriend or girlfriend?"

"I think about what life would be like with Artie, sometimes."

"Have you ever told him? You know, that you think about it."

"Umm... it hasn't really come up..."

"Shit," I mutter as under my breath as I can manage.

"Rachel said something to you about possibly being together in the future, like the future, future and you're freaking out about it, aren't you?"

I clench my teeth and nervously shake my head.

"Oh. My. God. _You_ said something about being together in the future and _she__'__s_ freaking out?" This _must_ be crazy if Brittany is shocked by it.

"I don't know if she's freaking out about it. I said it just before school and she just stopped talking about it. I don't even know if we are going to talk about it. If we do, she's probably going to break up with me!"

"You know you're getting really good at jumping to conclusions about things, San."

"But-"

"Uh uh! She isn't going to break up with you. Rachel loves you. It's really obvious. She gives you those looks that everybody dreams of getting. I know that you see them because you give them back. Don't put words into Rachel's mouth because you've jumped to conclusions."

"But what if-"

"Stop it! Remember what happened the last time one of you jumped to conclusions?"

"Everything was fine and we wound up saying 'I love you' to each other for the first time?" Sometimes I really need Brittany's tough love tactics.

"Clearly I'm not an expert or anything, but I think this is how relationships are supposed to work. You get mad and you get scared, but you talk about it. You won't get anywhere if you don't talk about it."

"When did I become such a walking hot mess?"

"Well, I'd say that you're a _limping_ hot mess, right now-"

"Britt!" I interrupt her unnecessary joke.

"You aren't a mess. You're in love," she clarifies, "There's a difference. It's hard to tell the difference, but there is one."

Man! Listen to her! She's like Confucius.

"The wisdom you have bestowed upon me in the last month is out of control."

"There have been plenty of times when you've been my Yoda."

"That's it! Too much time with Wheels and Chang Squared! I am stealing you from them more often!"

"Oh yeah? I remember you making three separate references to musicals on Saturday. Rachel wasn't even with us yet for two of them."

"Point accepted."

And the bell.

~:~:~

Where does Schue come up with some of his ideas for assignments. Like seriously? Singer/Songwriters? There are thousands of singer/songwriters. _Thousands!_ Why doesn't he just have us write our _own_ songs. _That_ would be interesting.

Rachel didn't sit with me.

She won't even look at me.

God, this is awful. I jinxed the honesty thing, didn't I? I went and noticed that it was woking and now it isn't.

We drove to school together, she has to drive back home with me, right?

"Hey, Santana, Rachel wanted me to tell you that she's coming over with Mercedes and me to my house to check out my singer/songwriter collection," Kurt comes over to tell me at the end of Glee.

"Why couldn't she tell me herself?"

"I don't know. She's been acting pretty weird all day. Did something happen?" Kurt asks, with seemingly genuine concern.

"She didn't say anything to you?" I ask trying to avoid saying anything to him. He just shakes his head and probably sensing that _I_ don't want to talk to him about it, he turns and walks away.

Well, maybe I'll get to making the guest room my room this afternoon.

The walls are a little too bright for my liking but otherwise, my new room looks pretty great. Berry Dad Numero Uno... Leroy, came in to check it out and find out where Rachel was. I really like him. I like both of Rachel's Dads. I really owe them. They didn't have to let their daughter's girlfriend live under their roof, but they did. It's kind of like I have three dads now. Really, the only way it would be better is if I had three dads and a mom.

Rachel came home at 6:30 and went right to her room. She missed dinner and didn't even bother talking to anyone when she got here.

I thought that I heard the floor creak outside my door, but by the time I'd worked up the courage to open it, Rachel had gone. I watched her door close.

This is really all I have left right now:

**To Rach****❤️:  
><strong>Please can we talk?

Nothing for two minutes.

**To Rach****❤️:  
><strong>I love you.

Two more minutes.

**From Rach****❤️****:  
><strong>Tomorrow after my voice lesson.

Another four minutes later.

**From Rach****❤️:  
><strong>I love you, too.

Oh, breathing, it's nice of you to join me.


	15. You're Carb Loading

Tuesday, May 10

You know what sucks? Living under the same roof as your girlfriend and not speaking to her.

You know what's even worse than that? Being left in the same house alone with her over-protective Dads. When I came down to have some breakfast they cornered me to find out what I'd done to make Rachel so upset. I really wasn't sure how much I wanted to divulge into this with them, so all I told them was that I said something about wanting to go to school in New York and how us being together made me want to go there even more. Then she kind of calmly freaked out and she won't talk to me. I don't think they really knew what to make of what I told them, but they backed off and let me go to school in one piece. You know for a short, nerdy, Jewish guy, Hiram is really intimidating.

Rachel and I haven't actually spoken to each other in over twenty-four hours, by the way. This is the longest I've ever gone without hearing her voice since the first time I ever met her. Even on days when the last thing I wanted to hear was her voice, I could hear it.

God I hope I hear it before we talk after her voice lesson.

~:~:~

"I take it you and Rach still haven't talked," Brittany asks me while were standing in the lunch line and she shovels carrots and celery on her tray.

"What gave it away?" I ask putting far too many tots on my tray.

"You're carb loading and you look like you lost your best friend. I know it isn't me so it must be Rachel," Brittany says taking some of the tots off of my tray.

"She doesn't want to talk about it until after her voice lesson tonight. I'm pretty sure that won't be until like five and we don't have classes together and she probably won't sit with me in Glee," I realize I'm out of breath, take one and say, "I just want to hear her voice," then I realize how desperate I sound.

"I'm not gonna lie, this is getting a little absurd. Why is she taking so long to talk to you about this?"

"Britt, if I knew, we would have talked about it already."

"Good point."

We get to the table that Puck has been sitting at. He's been scaring away anyone that tries to sit at it. "Still haven't talked to Rachel?"

"Christ! How pathetic do I look?" I say plopping down two seats away from Puck.

"Pretty pathetic, bro," Puck kindly says, "Don't worry, I don't think anyone really notices. They probably think that you're back to your normal bitchy self."

"Thanks, _bro_," I say without hiding how pissed that made me.

"You know he didn't mean to be a jerk, San. We're trying make you feel _better_," Britt says shifting in her seat.

"Ow! Come on Brittany!" she shifts again, "Ow! Come on! What the- OW! Fine. Sorry, your normal, not bitchy but umm... snarky self," Puck says changing his terminology.

He's lucky I don't know what snarky means. I think he's _more_ lucky that Brittany doesn't know what it means. How does _he_ know what snarky means?

"Anyways," Puck starts again, "Actually, never mind. I'm not going to tell you."

"Fine, don't tell me," I say. I am not in the mood for stupid games.

"It's about Rachel..."

"What?!" so much for not in the mood.

"You said you didn't want to hear it."

"Come on Puck, don't be a Sue," Brittany says without looking up from her PB and J.

"Yeah, bro, no one wants to be a Sue," I add.

"Fine. I saw her go into the auditorium just after the lunch bell rang."

"Oh my god! Is she still there?!" Wow. Just... wow. I'm not desperate or anything.

"I don't know, dude, I've been here ever since, remember?"

"I have to see if she's there!" I say flying out of my seat.

"Whoa, San! What if she's not ready to see you, yet," Brittany asks taking her attention away from the sandwich.

"What? That's absurd," or not, "I just have to see her. I'll just lurk around the auditorium." Because that's not creepy. Nice word choice. Really.

"Like a creep?"

Fucking hell!

"No, Puckerman, like someone who hasn't seen her girlfriend since Glee yesterday! I'm going! I'll see you both in Glee."

~:~:~

I basically ran to the auditorium. I passed the backstage left door and heard her singing. My heart just about stopped. My legs did, then backtracked their way to the door. I couldn't hear what she was singing but it sounded beautiful. I had to get in. I realized that it's pretty much impossible to hear the backstage doors open when your surrounded by the sounds of the Jazz Band and your own voice.

I snuck in just as the song was ending, so all I heard was "La la la a a a" and then Brad's piano pounding.

Then I heard, "Thanks, Brad! Thanks guys! See you all in Glee later?"

I peeked out from behind the wing curtain and saw everyone nod to her.

There she is. Shit! She's coming this way. Oh fuck. Where do I go? Uuuuuh.

Oh, other side of the curtain.

Duh.

Wait for her footsteps and then the door to close...

"Santana?"

Fuck! How did she know?

Oh shit! The curtain's moving... "Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"Puck told me you were in here. How did you _know_ I was here?"

"God! He's been following me around all day!" she says stamping her foot, then she sighs, "And... I could smell you..." she trails off with an embarrassed eye roll. I just raise my eyebrows at her. "You always smell like apricots and vanilla and you had gym today so it's a little stronger than normal."

I just want to kiss her. "I'm sorry. I just... I wanted to see you. I wanted to sneak in and sneak out but clearly, my plan failed."

"That's sweet," she says taking my forefinger in her fingertips.

I take my hand back, "Rachel, I can't do this! This not talking and not seeing each other. We live under the same roof. I've felt like shit since you got out of my car yesterday morning. I just want to know that we're okay."

She takes a step forward and then another and then another and then she's so close I can smell the shampoo scent that lingers in her hair. The palm of her hand finds my face, her fingertips find my ear, then her lips find my lips.

Please don't let this end.

"San," of course it ends, "I _promise_ we'll talk after my voice lesson."

The bell.

"I know. You have to go. I'll see you in Glee Club," I say hoping to hear her speak just one more time.

"See you in glee club," she says and turns away. She opens the door and turns to look back, "I love you."

"I love you."

We're okay! I still have a girlfriend! But now what are we talking about?

~:~:~

Apparently there was more to the Singer/Songwriter assignment than I had originally gathered. What we're supposed to do is take someone else's words and make them ours. We're supposed to "feel the song." We have to interpret the song in our own way. We could actually take a song completely out of context, but as long as we sell it, we're good. I'm not sure Schue realizes what he's getting himself into.

The point of the assignment is that even though a songwriter has an intention, it doesn't mean that the song's message always gets across the way _they_ wanted it to. But that's what's great about music: we all feel things differently.

But, we could also feel _exactly_ what they wanted us to feel.

Rachel is already ready to perform. I'm a little nervous for this. She has a tendency to take assignments and direct them at people. So far, I've gone unscathed. I have a feeling that streak ends today, though.

I won't find out until after Kurt and then Mercedes performs. They must have all rehearsed together.

I wonder how extensive Kurt's collection of music is? I've never heard his song before.

Or Mercedes' song.

And here's Rachel's:

"Uncharacteristically, I don't have an extremely verbose introduction to my performance," you can pretty much feel the looks the rest of us are giving her, "Well except for that sentence. And that this is _Uncharted_ written and originally sung by Sara Bareilles."

"Take it away, Rachel," Mr. Schue says handing her our bedazzled microphone that just appeared one day.

She nods to Brad and he begins playing the song that I caught the end of in auditorium.

She starts humming.

God, she has a beautiful voice.

**"No words, my tears won't make any room for more,  
><strong>**And it don't hurt, like anything I've ever felt before,****"**

What?

"**This is no broken heart,****"**

Oh.

"**No familiar scars  
><strong>**This territory goes uncharted...****"**

Well this interesting.

"**Just me, in room sunk down in a house in a town and I  
><strong>**Don't breathe, no I never meant to let it get away from me.****"**

Let what get away?

"**Now I've too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold  
><strong>**And I want uncharted.****"**

Wait. Want?

"**Stuck under the ceiling I made.  
><strong>**I can't help but feeling...****"**

Oh no...

"**I'm going down,****"**

What?

"**Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,  
><strong>**Like you'll show me where to go,****"**

Excuse me?

"**I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how  
><strong>**To get started, it's all uncharted...****"**

Uuuuhhhh... shit a text message.

"**Jump start my kaleidoscope heart,  
><strong>**Love to watch the colors fade,****"**

**From BrittBritt:  
><strong>A. What is this song? and B. Holy shit, look at Quinn.

Huh?

"**They may not make sense,  
><strong>**But they sure as hell made me.****"**

Bitch, remove that lip from between your teeth!

"**I won't go as a passenger, no  
><strong>**Waiting for the road to be laid****"**

Fucking Quinn!

"**Though I may be going down,  
><strong>**I****'****ll take in flame, over burning out.****"**

There is way too much happening right now.

"**Compare, where you are to where you want to be and you'll get nowhere****"**

Well that seemed like a poignant lyric.

"**I'm going down,  
><strong>**Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,  
><strong>**Like you'll show me where to go,  
><strong>**I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how  
><strong>**Oh-h****"**

**To BrittBritt:  
><strong>I don't know and I told you!

"**I'm going down,  
><strong>**Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,  
><strong>**Like you'll show me where to go,  
><strong>**I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how  
><strong>**To get started, it's all uncharted...****"**

This conversation tonight better come with an explanation for this song.

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>You are no longer nuts.

"**La la la a a a****"**

Well, color me confused.

~:~:~

So remember when I put all of those tots on my tray during lunch? Well I didn't eat any of them, or anything on my tray for that matter, so I'm starving!

Let's see what the Berry Dads have stocked in the fridge today, shall we?

First let's check out the strange colored key and read the note for me that's stuck on it:

_Santana,_

_Here__'__s a key for you so you don__'__t have to keep using the one under the mat. We had a purple one made because Rachel told us it was your favorite color. Sorry if we scared you this morning, we were just worried about our Babygirl. You two will get through whatever this is. Rachel loves you and we see why every moment that we spend with you. Hope you had a wonderful day and see you later._

_Love,_

_Leroy and Hiram_

_PS - Enjoy the normal food we stocked the fridge with._

I'll just be keeping this note forever.

And there's _real_ cheese in this fridge! And white bread on the counter! I don't care if it isn't good for me, it's grilled cheese time.

I'll add a tomato slice or something.

And since I took my PS3 with me from my house, I will be plopping down on the couch and playing _Assassin__'__s Creed_ on the biggest television I have ever seen. The perfect way to pass the excruciating hours I will be waiting for Rachel to come home.

Just an hour and a half left.

~:~:~

I think I've been climbing this pillar for days. God this game is redundant. The other two are so much better. Update map and Leap of Faith.

"I think that's physically impossible."

Rachel's home. Pause.

"Oh. You don't have to stop. What are you playing?"

Resume memory. "_Assassin's Creed_. It's kind of violent. Brittany doesn't like it."

"Can I watch you play it?"

"You sure? There's like blood and stuff." I'd rather talk, anyways.

"Yeah. It looks like you're in the middle of something. You should always finish what you start."

Did she really just say that? I don't want to fight.

I don't want to fight.

Just play the game.

"What's that circle in the corner that keeps moving?" She's going to talk to me this whole time, isn't she? Not going to fight.

"It's like a proximity meter. It tells me how far away I am from things that I need to get to. Like, umm, see the one on top?"

"Yes."

"That's a citizen that needs to be rescued from some guards. It should be just around this corner. You can hear the woman pleading with them."

"That's sad."

"Not as sad as the beggar women that relentlessly follows you around until you want to punch them in the face. I did once and got chased down by a bunch of guards."

She's laughing, "Ooo look! There they are!"

She is oddly excited about the impending violence.

"San, behind you... ooo... whoa... don't hit the citizen!"

I am trying so hard not to laugh. She makes it so difficult to keep my resolve.

"What's next?!"

"Let me check the map." Select button.

"The map? Oh the map. What's the one that looks like a hood?"

"That's me."

"Oh. What about that one?" she asks pointing.

"Um... that means I have to pickpocket someone. And that one, to the left, means an interrogation. Once I do those two I can go assassinate the 'bad guy.'"

"Why did you put air quotes around bad guy?"

"You'll see. Pickpocket or interrogation?"

"Ummm... pickpocket!"

Half an hour later:

"So is the conflict that Altair doesn't know if what he's been doing is actually the right thing?"

"Sort of."

"Well, the guys he's assassinating keep telling him otherwise and it seems like he senses that there's actually some weight to what they're saying."

"How do you know that? You've seen one of these assassinations happen."

"It's an educated assumption."

"Okay, babe." Shit! Hello? Resolve!

"I'm sorry," Rachel says almost quicker than I can hear.

Pause. "What?" Maybe she'll say it again. Slower.

"I'm so sorry, San. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I just... I just..."

Okay, no Rachel tears! Quell the tears! Quell the tears! "Hey, Rach. Hey, take your time. Think about what you want to say. I'm not going anywhere."

And just like that her tears cease and her eyes anchor into mine. It was like I could feel her grab onto my eyes with hers.

"I love you," she says, "And I've thought about a future us, too. I've just had this idea in my head that you hadn't, which made _me_ thinking about it okay. I know it sounds weird but it makes sense to me."

"It isn't weird," actually it isn't weird at all and makes perfect sense, somehow, "Keep going."

"I've always dreamed about going to New York and following my dreams. I guess I just didn't think that you would want to be there, too. It's just... you're..." she trails off.

"I'm what?" she needs to finish this sentence.

"You're changing my future."

Is that good or bad? I think a question mark just appeared on my forehead.

"I guess it just kind of hit me that you're in this, too," well no shit, "I mean like, really in it. I got scared. My plans that have been the same since I was a toddler, have shifted..."

Suddenly the song she sang Glee Club is making more sense, "The song."

She nods and says, "I heard it at Kurt's house yesterday. The lyrics really got to me. Not in a bad way, though. I made Kurt play it again and again and the more I listened to the lyrics, the less afraid I was. I know it sounds kind of silly that a song could have such a profound affect on me-"

"It isn't silly, Babe. That was the point of the assignment," she smiles and I continue, "You know I was really hoping I'd get an explanation for that song, which sounded beautiful by the way."

Her face turns adorably pink and she says, "Thank you. I found a live version on iTunes and she explains that she wrote it when she thought she didn't have anything to write about. It's all about being afraid of the unknown and pushing through your fears to get where you want to be."

Something flashes back in my memory and I say, "Compare where you are to where you want to be and you'll get nowhere."

Her eyes light up, "Exactly. So what if my future is changing? It's changing for the better. Right now, I couldn't think of anyone better to share it with than you. That's what's important."

Suddenly something pops into my head that I can't resist saying, "I can't wait to kiss you when they announce you won the Best Actress in a Musical Tony. You better thank me," maybe that wasn't a good idea, "Too far?"

"Uh uh. I was going to say that I can't wait to be able to say that I sleep with the youngest person to ever be nominated to the Supreme Court," she says with an eye brow quirk.

Ummmmm... "Wait, how did you...?" I've never told anyone that was my dream.

"Oh come on San, you named you car after Justice Sotomayor. You also have a very keen sense of justice. Unfortunately, you've channeled this into seeking revenge on people, but I have no doubt in my mind that you'll be able to redirect it someday. And... you talk in your sleep," she says and ending with that eye grabbing stare from earlier.

Oh my god. Seriously, I haven't told anyone that! Not even Britt or my dad. I've always thought everyone would think I was nuts because of how I treat people, but Rachel just read me like I was her favorite book. "I've never told anyone that before."

"I don't know why. It's great."

"It's ridiculous."

"No it isn't, San! It's kick-ass," I laugh at her decision to use a word she would never use otherwise, "You can't let what other people think of you dictate your life. Besides, they don't matter anyways. The people that care about you believe in you. I believe in you. Your dad and Brittany believe in you. I'd even go so far to say that Noah believes in you. You just have to believe in you. You're allowed to have big dreams, Santana."

Here comes the "there aren't enough words to describe how much I love you so I'm just going to do this" kiss.

Well, this is escalating quickly. It's like we haven't touched each other in two days. Rachel wasted no time getting on top of me and our tongues are really going at it. I'm actually having a hard time breathing.

"Ahem."

That was clearly the voice of a big black man aka Leroy Berry. I am frozen with one hand on Rachel's ass, the other on her breast, and my tongue plastered to hers. Rachel and I make eye contact. I'm completely panicked and she's oddly calm.

What?

She simply removes her mouth from mine and says, "Hi Daddy."

I can't even turn around to look at him. He's going to kill me. Then, he's going to tell Hiram and then he's going to bring me back to life just to kill me again.

"While I'm happy to see that you two are on _speaking_ terms again, I am _not_ happy to see my daughter being groped in my living room," he says in his frightening Darth Vader/James Earl Jones voice.

Removing my hands from their current positions...

"Oh please, Daddy, Santana and I caught you and Papa doing the same thing like a week ago."

Nope! Not something you say to your father while you are still straddling your girlfriend. On _his_ couch. In _his_ living room. In _his_ house!

"This is my house and I will do whatever I want with my husband in it. You on the other hand are sixteen years old and have to live under your fathers' rules... you too Santana."

"Yes, sir!" I say letting all of my fear appear in my voice.

With a huff of defeat, Rachel slides off of me and plops onto the couch.

"Much better," Berry Dad Numero Uno says while walking over to the sectional. He sits down on the reclining seat. He might as well be sitting on top of me I'm so terrified.

"So, you two talked things out?" he asks as he pulls the reclining lever.

"Obviously," Rachel says annoyed. She is not doing this right now.

"Good. I really didn't want to have to kick you out, Rachel..."

What?

"Daddy?!"

"What? I'm not kicking out the live-in chef. Speaking of whom, what's for dinner?"

I did _not_ plan anything, "Ummm... what are you in the mood for?"

"Well, I heard about this tofu stir fry you made for my Babygirl that was, I think she said, 'to absolutely die for.' Now, I'm not in the mood for dying, but I'd love to try it."

I love him! When he isn't being Rachel's scary dad of course. The sarcasm is beautiful! "Okay, Mr. Berry."

"I _will_ kick the live-in chef out if she insists on calling me Mr. Berry," he says pushing the recliner back down and getting up.

"Okay, Leroy."

"Much better," he says walking into the kitchen. Popping his head back in he says, "And Rachel, hold on to this one, she's infinitely better than those buffoons you were bringing home."

Santana for the win! Better than Finnept, Jesse St. Fuckhead, and Pervalicious Puck!

"I think I love your Dad as much as I love you," I turn and say to Rachel when I'm sure he's deep into the kitchen.

"Right now, I am not okay with that."

I kiss her and say, "Time for the chef to get to work!"

So apparently, sometimes Rachel needs quiet homework time... by herself. Ummm... what is that? Remember how we're not allowed to sleep in the same room and we also have spent pretty much no time together the last two days?

Eh, whatevs. Not everyone can speed read. FaceTime with Britt Britt instead.

"Lily punched a boy in the face at school today," Brittany says highly unpleased.

"YES! Takin' after her Sistah from another Mistah!"

"San, that's not even a thing."

"Whatever! So, the kid must have done something to deserve Little One's beat down?"

"He tried to kiss her," Britt offers up, knowing full well that her sister was right.

"Little fucker got what he deserved then!"

"Yeah, I know, but she still punched him... and then kicked him in the balls," she adds reluctantly.

"What?! Oh man, that kid's life is over at eight. He got his ass handed to him by a girl! Yeah, Little One!"

She simply shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Then something new pops onto her face, "So, let's talk about our dear friend Quinn."

"Ummm... let's. So you believe me?"

"How could I not! I'm pretty sure the Rachel that she was seeing was naked."

"Statements like that don't make me feel better, Britt," I say reminding her of how possessive I can be.

"Yeah right, like Quinn Fabray is a threat to you when it comes to Rachel. Quinn would never act on her 'lesbian feelings,' especially after last year. I'm pretty sure that's the last thing she needs. Not that I think it's right to stifle who you are, or anything," Brittany says with confidence.

"Ummm... actually," I could have sworn I told her this, "We kind of almost did it the summer before sophomore year..."

"You what?!"

"I didn't tell you?" Seriously? I tell her everything. How did this slip by?

"Clearly, you didn't," Brittany is actually mad at me.

I think I have to tell her now.

"Umm... okay... it was in August after Cheerios camp. Originally, we were all going to go to Quinn's house to go swimming but you had to babysit last minute, so it was just Q and me. After we swam for a bit we went in the hot tub because every inch of our bodies were killing us. God, I do not miss that-"

"That's not the story," Brittany yells at me.

"Right. Ummm... she let me have the part of the hot tub where you can like, lie down and she sat on the other side. I closed my eyes for like ten seconds and then I heard the water move. I know, it's a hot tub, the water is always moving... I just... I heard it. I opened my eyes and Quinn was right there. Like here," I bring my hand up and about four inches from my face, "I jumped and then she kissed me. Like kissed me, kissed me. I'd already established my 'Santana Lopez doesn't say no' mantra so _I_ didn't care that she was stepping out on Finnessa. Besides, she's a good kisser... although now that I think about it, I've thought every girl I've ever kissed was a good kisser and all the boys were shit..."

"Just another signal that you should have picked up on. Now get to the 'almost did it' part."

Throaty sigh and eye roll, "After like ten minutes of full on making out and serious groping Quinn suggested that we go to her room. I wasn't going to say no. Long story short we got to second base and had a huge lead off to third, which I guess in lesbian baseball (not softball) is all the way home..."

"San, you're lesbionically talking in baseball," Brittany says with frustration.

"We had our bikini tops off but when my hand went south she completely stopped everything and turned on the Bitch. She told me she couldn't lose her virginity to a girl because she wasn't gay and it was a sin. Then she asked me to leave and not to tell anyone about what had happened. Which, clearly, I've held true to until now."

"Oh my god! Quinn's a big closeted lesbo!"

"You probably shouldn't go around yelling that-"

"And now she has a thing for _your_ girlfriend-"

"Who has a thing for your girlfriend?"

What the fuck?! Rachel?!

"Quinn!"

What the fuck?! Brittany?!

Walking over and sitting on my lap (I'm completely catatonic, by the way), "Oh please, Quinn is totally straight."

"You should see the way she looks at you."

How is it that these two are just non chalantly having this conversation while I sit here unable to to do a damn thing?

"I _have_ seen the way she looks at me. I actually think Quinn wants to rip my head off."

"Uh uh. I mean when you can't see her looking at you. I actually think Quinn wants to rip your clothes off. Ask San," Brittany so kindly turns the attention to me.

"Ummm... I... uh... noticed it a few weeks ago..." Very elegant.

What is happening?! This is a nightmare, right?

Right?

"Oh my god, San we have to confront her," Rachel says.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm awake again.

"Oh yeah, that's the best idea you've ever had! Let's just go up to Quinn tomorrow and be like, 'Hey Q, so we were just wondering if you're a lesbian or bi or something because we noticed that you look at Rachel like you wanna do her.' Yeah I see that working out really well," I say with all of my sarcasm.

"Rach, I think San's right. Confronting Quinn about something she's never acted on is kind of effed up," Brittany finally comes to my rescue after putting me in this awkward situation.

"Oh, yeah, I guess that would be kind of weird."

"It would," I jump in before anything else can get out of hand, "Well, would you look at the time, midnight, time for Santana to do her homework!"

"Rachel, get your butt in your own room!"

"But Daddy-"

"NOW!"

Did I mention how much I love Leroy Berry?


	16. Like My Hiding Place?

Wednesday, May 11th

I have no words for what happened last night. None. I can't even-

You see? My brain just stops when I start thinking about it. It's like, "Nope! Didn't happen! Nothing to see here!"

Since I can't think about that, here's a new topic:

Papá's coming to dinner tonight! I haven't seen him since we took everything out of my room on Sunday. I should probably plan something for dinner. I think I'll use actual meat for this one and then make a one serving vegan version for Rach. I think I can handle that.

Oh _and_ I found the song that I want to perform for the Glee assignment this week. It's a song that I've been listening to for years but it never really affected me when I heard it. I really listened to it last night while I was doing my homework and it hit me. It might be my new favorite song. I mean it's not much of a stretch from my old favorite song. It's only seven tracks away on the album. I'm going to do the acoustic version, though. I like that one more. Puck already said he'd help me out. I wonder if Trouty Mouth can play the bongos? Maybe I shouldn't call him that when I ask him.

~:~:~

Kurt and I are lab partners in physics today. Literally, nothing is getting accomplished. Well, almost nothing.

"... I could not believe my fashion adept eyes when they were laid upon this... this... I'm so flabbergasted I can't even come up with a decent metaphor."

"Oh my god, you are killing me! What was this bitch wearing?"

Taking a dramatic breath, Kurt finally says, "First of all she was wearing horizontal stripes..."

"Oooo... not the skinniest bitch I'm assuming?" Contrary to popular belief, I have nothing against people who find themselves on the heavy side. I just wish that some of them would dress to their body type. Trust me, I think thin people should do the same. For example, though her choice in colors is often something to be desired, Mercedes dresses to her curves and she looks great every day. Tina on the other hand, who is thin, looks like an idiot most of the time.

"Not even close. Anyways, the shirt was white and light heather gray. If that wasn't bad enough, she decided that crop pants were a good idea..."

"Oh, vomit."

"Oh it gets worse. They were red... and plaid."

"Oh no. Oh my brain hurts just thinking about it. So many patterns!" Seeing Mr. Snorefest coming close through my awesome peripheral vision, "I think this should be Sigma and not Delta. We're getting our greek alphabet representatives confused."

"Mr. Hummel, Miss Lopez, I see you've gotten practically nothing done," he says when he gets to us.

"Actually," I say, flipping over my sheet of paper, "We've gotten almost the whole assignment done."

"Hmmm," he hums through pursed lips and leaves us be.

"When did you do that?" Kurt asks with surprise.

"When you were talking about the sunglasses that your boyfriend bought."

"I think I spent about five minutes talking about them."

"Which was four minutes and fifty-five seconds too long, but plenty of time to get most of this done," I snark out (I looked it up) and then say, "Don't worry you can copy it all."

"I'd like to know why we weren't friends much sooner?" Kurt muses.

"I was a closeted lesbian which made a me an über-bitch and associating with the gays was absolutely out of the question. Now please continue describing the heinous outfit that this mall patron was sporting."

"Oh my god! You're going to love this part. It's the icing on the cake. She had one of those mega-lesbian haircuts," he says in his super gossip voice.

"The Beiber?"

"Worse. The long straight side bang with the rest short and spikey. Like gelled to all angled hell spikey."

"Oh my god. Only _the_ worst thing to happen to lesbian fashion… besides the lady-mullet. But like, seriously? Who decided that either of those were a good idea?"

"I don't know but they better stay away from gay men or we'll never have equal rights."

"Hey, we might have bad hair cuts but at least we're good parents. There are even statistics to prove it. That alone should give us equal rights." So I read. Problem?

"Nope, instead crazy people tell us that we'd just ruin marriage and that we're all going to hell."

"As if straight people don't ruin marriage themselves," I add with a chuckle.

"Hey, my Dad and Carole are doing just fine, thank you very much."

Well, that gave me a pleasant flash into my own family life. I hope my face doesn't show it.

"Hey, you want to start copying this? We only have like five minutes left," I ask trying to mask my discomfort.

"Umm... yeah, that'd be great. Thanks," he says sliding my paper over closer to him. About a minute later, "Um... feel free to not answer me if I'm overstepping, but how are you? I mean like, with, you know...?"

"My mom?" he nods, "I haven't spoken to her since..." I stop myself before I can point to my face where my cut is at the flesh colored scab stage and then say, "Friday. I don't think I'll be speaking to her for a while."

"I'm really sorry about that."

"You know, I kind of wish people would stop saying they were sorry. It is literally no one's fault but hers that she feels the way she does. It isn't my fault, it isn't my Dad's fault and it certainly isn't any of the people who have been saying sorry's fault."

"You are absolutely right. I shouldn't have said that. When my Mom passed away I hated it when people said that to me as if they had anything to do with it. I know it's not really the same." Actually, it almost is, but I don't need to get into that now. He continues, "So then, instead I'm going to ask: how is life at the Berry Residence?"

"With the exception of the fear I experience if I so much as accidentally brush arms with Rachel, it's great. It's like I have second and third dads."

"So they are around!"

"Yeah, they both go into work late and leave work late. That's why it seems like they're never around."

"Everything makes sense now."

Lunch bell.

~:~:~

You thought I was going to tell you about my lunch time rehearsal with Puck and Frog- Sam. Wrong!

My large romantic gestures that just so happen to fall into the Glee assignment for the week, are top secret. Puck and Sam already know that if they say anything to anyone they will be without a testicle for the rest of their lives.

I feel a little cheesy about singing to my girlfriend in front of a bunch of people. However, I am excited to sing it in front of Finn... and Quinn. Gotta keep the kiddies in check somehow.

Anyways, it's History and we all know what that means...

~:~:~

"Okay guys! Who's ready to perform today?"

"I am, Mr. Schue."

Fucking Finn.I swear to god-

"So am I, Mr. Schuester."

Quinn, too?

"I'm ready, Mr. Schue," I finally get out.

After waiting a few breaths for some one else to join in on the fun, Mr. Schuester finally says, "Alright three takers! Who's up first?"

"I'll go!"

Jesus Christ! Fuck you, Finn!

"Whatcha got for us Finn?"

"Uhhh... _Jealous Guy_ by John Lennon."

"Ha!" Oops.

But seriously though, do you know this song? Finn is the biggest idiot I've ever witnessed. He looks like an even bigger idiot singing this song. I'm going to spare you.

~:~:~

The best part of Finn's performance was Rachel's "What the fuck?" face by the end of it. Just saying. Like seriously, this has to be up there with _Jesse__'__s Girl_ and whatever song he sang to Quinn in front of her parents that got her kicked out of her house as one of the stupidest songs he's ever sung in public. Why is he even allowed out of his house?

"Alright who's next?"

Quinn stands up before I can even say anything. She hasn't acted on her lesbian feelings, remember? Don't do anything stupid.

"This is _Drunk with the Thought of You_ by Cheryl Crow."

"Great song Quinn, take it away."

I wish I knew this song so I could be prepared.

"**There's something I need to show you  
><strong>**My head in my hands  
><strong>**'Cause I don't understand  
><strong>**When I don't even know you,  
><strong>**How you melted my heart in two****"**

Uhhhhh...

"**I wake up in the morning,  
><strong>**Follow you and then hide  
><strong>**Just to watch you walk by  
><strong>**Comes on me with no warning  
><strong>**I think about you and I get high****"**

I'm sorry what?

**To BrittBritt:  
><strong>Are you hearing what I'm hearing?

**From BrittBritt:  
><strong>At least she isn't looking at Rach...

"**To assure you I even exist  
><strong>**Do I tell you it's you that I've missed?****"**

No you don't.

"**Well if love is a cocktail of all that you do,  
><strong>**I get drunk with the thought of you  
><strong>**I get drunk with the thought of you.****"**

One little look at the end of the song. That's it. Rachel's hand is on my thigh. I think she saw it.

"That was beautiful Quinn," Mr. Schue encourages. Oh, if only he knew, "Okay Santana, you're up. You've got a couple tough acts to follow."

No I don't, "Thanks Mr. Schue. Puck? Tr- Sam?"

"That's right, she's bringing out the big guns," Puck boasts. I smack his strumming arm.

"Okay, so this is an acoustic version of a song by my favorite artist pretty much ever," I gulp down my nerves as best I can and say, "So, this is _Head Over Feet_ by Alanis Morissette."

I turn to look at Puck and he says, "It's all you, bro."

It is. Okay. I give Puck the nod and we're off.

"**I had no choice but to hear you  
><strong>**You stated your case time and again  
><strong>**I thought about it****"**

Okay. Yeah I can do this. I did it six times during lunch.

"**You treat me like I'm a princess  
><strong>**I'm not used to liking that  
><strong>**You ask how my day was****"**

Now, look at Rachel.

"**You've already won me over in spite of me  
><strong>**And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
><strong>**Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
><strong>**I couldn't help it  
><strong>**It's all your fault****"**

That's a "because of Santana" smile. I can totally do this. Just remember you're skipping shit.

"**You are the bearer of unconditional things  
><strong>**You held your breath and the door for me  
><strong>**Thanks for your patience****"**

It's like there's no one else in this choir room but us.

"**You're the best listener that I've ever met  
><strong>**You're my best friend  
><strong>**Best friend with benefits  
><strong>**What took me so long****"**

Hopefully Brittany doesn't take that part the wrong way.

"**You've already won me over in spite of me  
><strong>**And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
><strong>**Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
><strong>**I couldn't help it  
><strong>**It's all your fault.****"**

Are those tears? Those are Rachel tears that I can handle.

"Was that for me?" she asks as if there's no one else around.

"No way. That was for the assignment. It's really just a coincidence that it pretty much says everything I feel," I say walking back up to my seat next to her.

"Well no matter what it was for Santana, it was great. You sold it," Mr. Schue butts in. Ooo that was like an inadvertent chin joke!

"Thanks, Mr. Schuester."

"Okay everyone, I'll see you all tomorrow!"

Just a car ride away from Rachel and Santana alone time in the Berry house. Can you tell that I haven't had sex in two days days? Actually, that isn't really that long is it?

I'll deal with the Quinn thing some other time. There are clearly more pressing matters at hand.

~:~:~

"Oh fuck, Rachel... you're... oh god... sure that your... mmm... dads won't be home?"

"Do you want me to eat you out or talk to you?" she asks looking up from between my legs. Keeping eye contact with me, she brings three fingers to her mouth, sucks them and enters me with them.

"The... ay querida... the first one... please." Clearly, I am not above begging.

Oh god I hope her dads don't come home early. I don't think either one of us would survive being caught doing it on the island in their kitchen.

"Rachel... oh fuck... ay dios mio... querida... you are so fucking good... I love you!"

"Come for me, beautiful."

Oh I love the things that she says to me. That particular command sends me over the edge nearly every time. Like now. Anything she wants, right? "Oh my-fuck-Rachel!"

I have jell-o limbs. I probably look like an idiot all spread out on the countertop. Okay, I have to get up, "Gimme two seconds, I'll be up in no time, babe. You just... are you sure you were a virgin when we started all this?"

"I'm positive. Come on, off the counter, we're christening your bed next," she says quirking her eyebrow quickly.

"You don't have to tell me twice. Grab my clothes?"

"Done, come on!" she offers her hand and I hop off the counter.

"Wait, we should like Lysol this. I have to prepare dinner here!" I say before she can drag me upstairs. Oh gross. We really should have thought about that.

"Ooo... yeah. Good thinking. I'll meet you upstairs," she says handing me my pants and underwear.

"Okay, babe," I say and give her a kiss.

I get upstairs and in my room, where I see a pile of clothes on my bed. Christ I've been here for like two seconds and it's already a mess. I'll just throw it all in the closet and- what is that? I don't remember putting a shoe box in my closet. Hmmm... I wonder what's in it.

OH MY GOD!

Rachel's been hiding the strap-on in here! No fucking way! Leroy and Hiram would definitely kill me if they found it in here.

"Like my hiding place?" Rachel asks as she wraps her arms around my waist from behind me.

"Ummm... no. Babe what if they had found it?"

She lifts herself up on her tippy toes and rests her chin on my shoulder, "San, they aren't going to go through your stuff. They definitely wouldn't go through a shoe box in your closet. Usually people put really private things in shoe boxes in their closet."

Hmmm... a strap-on is pretty personal, "I guess you're right."

"I know," she says raking her fingers up my thighs.

I've been holding the harness in my hands since before she walked into the room. Honestly, I've always wanted to use one. Well, since I knew they existed. I turn around in her arms with the strap-on still in my hands. Rachel looks down at the harness in my hands and smiles. God, she's beautiful. Her confidence is irresistible. She's always had it when it comes to sex, which I find pretty intriguing considering how very little experience she has... had.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, "I..." breathe, "I think I'm ready."

Rachel's eyes go wide and she says, "Really?"

Deep breath, "Really."

She lets go of me, walks to the door, closes and locks it, "Just in case," she walks back towards me, "Put it on?"

"Help me?" my nerves might not be so obvious if there are four hands doing it.

Not going to lie, I've always wondered what it would be like to have a... one of _those_… I think I'll stick with what I've got.

When it's on, Rachel steps back and looks at me with her jaw slack. Then she pulls off her shirt, drops her skirt and motions for me to come to her.

I do. We have to push through our fears, right? She pulls my shirt off then unclasps my bra and says, "I trust you."

She reaches back, unclasps her bra and lets it fall. Then, she shimmies out of her underwear and we're both standing in the middle of my room naked, well, almost.

"Rach, you _promise_ you'll tell me if I'm hurting you. _Promise_. Please."

"I promise."

I believe her.

She starts walking towards me and I start backing up. We do this until my legs meet the bed and she puts her hands on my shoulders, guiding me down.

Wait! This is how she wants to do this? Stop thinking. It's going to hurt and she knows and she's going to tell you if it's too much.

"San, I know it's going to hurt. It's okay. It isn't always going to."

She's right. "You're right."

She gets on me, straddling my legs and leaving the piece of silicon between us. She grabs the base and gives me an encouraging glance. I take it and ask, "Ready?"

She nods and lifts herself up. I bring it forward with my hand and hesitate. Seeing this Rachel grabs my hand and says, "Why don't _you _do it first? Start with two, then three, then move on."

I nod. I can do that. Two fingers are easy at this point. Three fingers slide in and out without any pain crossing her face. Okay, she can do this.

I can do this.

"Okay," I say pulling my three fingers out and wiping them off on the silicon in between us. My hand lands at the base and I inch it forward, bringing the tip to her entrance. Little by little. Inch by inch.

Luckily, she's on top and she has most of the control. Which is why she got on top of me, I'm just realizing. Man, she's good.

Her first wince of pain comes from the head completely entering her. It's gone quickly and she keeps lowering herself. Another inch in she winces again.

"Are you okay? We can stop-"

Rachel stops my questioning with a fierce kiss and before I know it, her ass is touching my thighs. I break the kiss and look down in between us. She grabs my face and kisses me again. She kisses my cheek to my ear and whispers, "I promise it only hurts a little and it's fading."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She shifts a little on my lap and lets out a moan that sounds like it came from her stomach. She shifts again, this time lifting herself a little and an even deeper moan escapes.

She's okay. Actually, she's more than okay; she's riding me. Just when I thought she couldn't be sexier, she is. Every time.

She grabs my hands and puts them on her ass and says, "Top me."

"What?"

She grabs my face and says, "Pick me up and turn around. You aren't going to hurt me."

I can do this. Tighten the ass grip, lift, turn and down.

Fuck yeah, I'm good!

"Now fuck me, Santana!"

Slowly, I draw back my hips and remember that the dildo is still upside down when I see her face widen with pleasure. I push back into her hoping to find the spot again. I do. I find it again and again. I imagine what it might feel like if it were _actually_ me doing this to her. As if it were _actually_ me being surrounded by her. Just thinking about it is intoxicating.

"Harder."

Obliging.

What was I so afraid of? She was ready for this. Oh god, the sounds that are coming out of this girl are enough to make _me_ come.

"Come for me, querida. Por favor."

"I... I..."

My thrusts are causing that slapping sound to happen between us and I'm pretty sure I'm also hitting her clit. Her sounds are getting sparse. She's getting close.

"Come for me, bonita."

Silence, eyes wide, then slammed shut.

I slow down my hips drastically and thrust into her only a few more times before I completely pull out of her.

I look down and see the deep purple glistening with her all over it. Is it weird that I want to lick it off? Maybe it is. I'll just take off the strap-on and ummm... I don't really know where to put this. The box... haha... that's funny.

Just hurry up and cuddle with Rachel!

When I finally get myself snuggled with her I ask, "How do you feel?" and kiss her forehead.

"Amazing," she says as she creates Rachel Blanket.

"You're beautiful and much braver than me."

"Stop selling yourself short, Santana."

"I'll try," I say and kiss her.

"I have a secret."

"Spill it, babe."

"I like how you feel inside of me better, too," she confesses, kissing my chest.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, too, beautiful."

~:~:~

Thank god we're eating in the dining room. I don't think I'd be able to handle dinner with the Dads and the girlfriend on a surface we had sex on just a couple hours prior. It's bad enough we did it.

Our Dads get a long really well. They're genuinely interested in what the others have to say. I mean clearly Leroy and Hiram are interested in each other but they seem to be fascinated by my Dad's job. I guess it isn't every day that you meet a neuro surgeon. And Papá has always been interested in architecture so he's been just picking at Hiram's brain.

Rachel and I are just taking it in. Every once in a while we look away from the bromance forming between our dads and smile at how great everything is.

Breaking into one of our moments, Papá brings his attention to me, "Mija?"

"Sí, Papá?" I say letting my eyes linger on Rachel before bringing them to meet his.

He smiles at this and says, "I hate to change the topic and draw you away from Rachel, but I have to tell you this."

"What is it, Papá?"

He takes a steadying breath and says, "Your mother saw your room." My eyes go wide and Rachel gasps. I see Hiram lean forward and Leroy bring his hand to his mouth in anticipation of what my father is going to say next. "She asked me where all of you things were. I told her that you weren't safe in your own home, so we moved you out."

"Wait. That's what you said to her? Did you tell her where I am?" I ask feeling a little worried.

"No, I didn't tell her where you went. She has no idea where you are living. Mija, she isn't going to hunt you down. She loves you."

"She has a really funny way of showing it."

"Rachel, that was unnecessary," Leroy says in his Mufasa voice.

"No, Leroy, she's right," my Dad says, "My wife has a lot to learn. I think she's going to come around. One of those nosy ER nurses asked me if things were alright at home because Marisol has been stealing away to supply closets and crying. She's been going to church..."

"So she's getting through the Five Stages of Grief? I didn't die!" I say raising the volume a little.

"She knows that, Mija. She needs to go through this..."

"Do you mind if I...?" Leroy offers.

"By all means," my father accepts with a hand gesture.

Leroy begins, "I always knew that I was a little different than all of the other kids in school. My parents always knew it, too. My mother wanted to let me do what I wanted, but my father refused to let his 'only son be a pansy,' something I heard him say often. So, to appease him, I played as many sports as I could. I played varsity football and basketball in high school. I played tight end and spent a lot of time with the running back. So much time that I fell for him. Hard. We won the State Championship my junior year and we had a big house party to celebrate it. We were alone in the backyard and he kissed me. It was everything I ever wanted. He told me he was in love with me and that he wanted to be with me, but he was afraid of what people would say. I told him we could be a secret and that no one would have to know. We started seeing each other. We were together through our senior year and no one knew. We were happy.

"One day my mom caught us kissing in my car. She was wonderful. She was only angry that I was afraid to tell her. few months later, my father found out. He kicked me out of the house. I did the exact same thing you did and took everything out of my room and moved in with my aunt and uncle across town. My father called their house one day asking for me a few months after I'd moved out, he wanted to talk to me. I met him at the park where there were plenty of people around. We sat in silence at a picnic table for a half an hour before I finally told him that I was going to go home. He said to me that my aunt and uncle's place wasn't my home and that he missed his son. He said that he realized that I was still the same person. He admitted that it took a lot of my mother and sisters pleading with him, but he got it. He said that he could accept that his son was gay because I was still his son that was going to college on a football scholarship and that I was still everything he could have hoped for in a son. I moved back home. He made comments every once in a while, but he was trying. Now, he loves my husband and he loves his granddaughter.

"Santana, people can change. They just need to do it in their own time. Your mother is going to come around. She does love you, just give her the time she needs."

Both Rachel and Hiram have tears welling in their eyes and my father has a huge hopeful smile on his face. Me, I've jumped out of my seat to wrap my arms around Leroy in the biggest, tightest hug I can manage to accomplish.

"Thank you!" something else wants to come out, "I... I love you!"

Whoa.

"I love you, too, Santana."

Oh my god! My girlfriend's dad just told me he loves me.

"Same here!"

Both of my girlfriend's dads love me.

"Well, if we're all professing our love for each other, Rachel, te amo!" Papá adds.

"Te amo, también, Cris!" Rachel says and leaps into my Dad's arms.

My Dad loves my girlfriend. My girlfriend's dads love me. I love my girlfriend and she loves me. What could possibly be better than this?

Besides my Mom being added to this love fest.

And besides the elimination of the lingering possibility that Quinn is trying to put the moves on my girlfriend that I'm in love with and who loves me.

Other than those two things, nothing could possibly be better than this.

Nothing.


End file.
